I got news from my pulmunologist of Friday that was fairly overwhelming. One of the things I live about him is that he is very, very honest with me at all times. I gave needed that as I have maneuvered through the health care crisis. I am blessed by the doctors who are fighting for me to get better. I think my heart break came when I discovered I was actually much worse than I thought I was.
My pulmunologist called the surgeon who did the biopsy and spoke to him at great length, he called the pathologist and he called the surgeon all just outside of the room I was waiting in. So I got a lot of information I did not have, but I did need to know. They are not sure I am strong enough to tolerate surgery. That surprised me, but I got a better handle on why it needed to come out. It is a ticking time bomb and will not end well if it is left in.
The bottom line is that I am very ill and that is hard for me to wrap my arms around, my pulmunologist caught me crying and I have never done that before. He felt awful ... But yet I needed to know. And I know that crying Is part of processing it.
I need to embrace this new reality, learn from it, see what God says and keep fighting. My Adria's not given up, so why should I. I choose to live in Hope. I choose to live in the reality of Gods love and presence. I choose peace, life and the reality of living in Christ! I know there are good things ahead. God shows me over and over again.
Stepping out in faith, hope and life,
Just Connie
1 comment:
I love you so very much
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