Clams & Sand Dollars

I popped out of bed bright and early at 3:15. I packed s backpack of extra clothes and shoes and dug out my muck boots to take with me. At 4:20 they came and picked me up and drove two hours north to Seaside.

Once we arrived they gave me a quick lesson on how to spot clams and then dig for them. I was very surprised at how easy it was. I was further surprised at how many people were there at 7:00 on a Thursday morning digging for clams.

I was soon strolling around the beach occasionally digging, but most often picking up sand dollars. Spread over the entire beach were hundreds of Sand Dollars. Big ones, small ones, dark ones, light ones they were beautiful and they were whole. It was wonderful.

So, at the end of the day, I had 4 very large razor clams and a whole sack-full of Sand Dollars. I am not sure yet what I am going to do with them. But they speak to me and I like them.

All in all, clam digging was a lot of fun. The friendship and camaraderie was even more fun than the actual clam hunt. I guess when it all comes down to it, as I have said before, it is all about the relationships in our lives. It was a rich & wonderful day because of those relationships.

Just Connie

Clam Digging

I get to have a new experience tomorrow. I am going clam digging! About 4:30 tomorrow morning friends will be picking me up and we will be heading to the beach.

I have a feeling that clam digging will involve lots of hard work and cold wet fingers. I am hoping that the steady rain we have had for the last few days will have cleared up by then. Otherwise I can see where it just might be cold, wet and rather miserable.

So I am getting ready to head to bed to get a good night’s sleep for tomorrows labor. Hard work never killed anyone … right? It just makes you wish it had.

"All hard work brings a profit" Proverbs 14:23 
Just Connie

Ministry Resource Team

I have always been good with numbers. I have not particularly like numbers but I have been good with them. My gift for numbers led me to higher mathematics in high school which I most definitely did not enjoy in the least.

I thought once in ministry I would no longer have to work with all those numbers, but guess what there are budgets and projections and all kinds of computing to do. Over the years I gained a fairly good skills set and it eventually let me to 10 years in Rescue ministry working in marketing and fundraising. I am very thankful for all I learned in those years.

Recently I have been assigned to a “Resource Ministry Team”. Other agencies would call it a Budget and Finance Committee. We oversee all of the funds and budgets for the Oregon Conference of the Free Methodist Church. This has been a really interesting committee. We have some interesting personalities on this committee. One of the things I have noticed over the years is that people who are good with numbers are not necessarily good with people. I think I was doubly blessed with people skills and number skills. Which is why I feel like I spend a fair amount of time smoothing things over that my colleagues have said in their zeal for order.

But it is a committee where I really feel like I can make a difference. I am thankful for a place to utilize my unique gifts. I am even thankful for the 3 hour meeting we had tonight. We got a lot done.

I guess you can’t ask for more than that from any committee.

Just Connie

Still Healing

It is good to feel a bit better every day. I got good work done at the church this morning. In fact it felt good to be back in the swing of things. Afterwards I ran to the bank and then made a grocery run.

When I got home I began the process of cleaning the house. It had gotten pretty bad while I was down with the flu. I even got all the things carried up to the attic. It is a good feeling. If I wasn’t so tired I would have done my happy dance.

So now I am ready to call it a night. It has been a full day and a good day. Tomorrow will be busy as well.

"take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful." Jeremiah 31:4


You know I might still have the energy for my happy dance. I bet the dogs will dance with me.

Just Connie

Surprising Sunday

I cried today. It kind of surprised me. In fact a lot about this morning surprised me. It started off like any other Sunday. The first clue that things were different was when I was called to the front during the announcements. Ohhhh yeah, my birthday, I smiled and prepared for a nice card and perhaps a potted plant. But what they had for me totally stunned me. Blew me away and caused the tears to run.

I stood there and tried to make sense of the words and found myself just standing there with my mouth hanging open. But when the reality began to sink in, the tears began. My church, my wonderful fabulous church bought me a pellet stove.

For some people that would not mean much, but I live in a little farm cottage without central heating. The heat I have is from a very old pellet stove. Every morning I get up to a cold house. I vacuum out the pellet stove, scrub the front and build a fire. That fire heats the house during the day. If it gets too hot, I open the windows, if it is cold I try to build a bigger fire. The last thing I do at night is turn the stove out, so I can begin the whole process all over again the next day. I have to admit that it has been a hard process and I work very hard to not hate it.

The new stove is run on a thermostat, has a self starter and a battery backup that will keep it running when the electricity goes off. (Notice I said when not if) The church will even install it for me. The more the read about this wonder stove, the more I cried.

I am so amazed that the church would do such a loving extravagant thing for me. I feel unworthy of such kindness. But I am soooooo appreciative. So tonight I rejoice at the extravagant, loving kindness of God’s people. It is a reminder that God loves me even more than that. And that is something I can live with.

“neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39

Just Connie

Better Today

I am better today. I got up, showered, dressed and ate. Then I even did the morning vacuuming. (At my house we vacuum twice a day)I felt better, much stronger than I did yesterday.

Mid day I drove in to McMinnville to pick up some things from WalMart. I got all my running around done and I was not nearly as tired as I was yesterday. I headed back home and even got the things unpacked. (Not put away, I have stuff to carry up to the attic) And still I was doing okay, a little tired but not exhausted.

Next I headed to the church for prayer time and got my lesson ready for tomorrow morning Sunday School Class. I beginning to think that I might actually recover from this horrid virus.

Now I am read to head to bed and get a good night’s sleep so that I will be ready for everything that tomorrow will bring.

Just Connie

Recovering

I am slowly recovering from my virus. I actually got dressed and went down to the grocery store today. Of course by the time I came home, I dumped my groceries on the counter, wrapped myself in a quilt and staggered to the couch in exhaustion.
That is probably not too surprising given how sick I have been. But I would really like to be able to throw this off. I have things to do and people to see. in fact I got the first of what will probably be many phone calls checking on the status of various projects I am involved in. But the reality is that I have done nothing in the last week, but be very sick.
Well today I was better than I was yesterday. I guess as long as I keep moving in that direction I shouldn’t complain….. but I probably will. I do not enjoy the recovery process. I have done all together too much of it during my life time. But once again, tomorrow is on the way. I can wait for tomorrow.

"'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." Jeremiah 33:6

Just Connie

The Virus

These last 5 days have been ….. absolutely, completely and totally miserable. It seems that I have caught a virus. The kind of virus which brings you to your knees praying that God will put an end to your misery. First you are afraid that you are dying and then you are afraid that you won’t.

Now 5 days into it, I can finally begin to see hope that the end of the virus is at hand. I actually stumbled to the shower and dressed in real clothes today. I am hoping that from here on the recovery will be swift.

So tonight I am getting ready to put my aching head back to bed. My body is telling me enough for the first day. Tomorrow will be better.

Just Connie

Ladies Movie Night

Tonight was Ladies Movie Night at the church. We had pizza and popcorn and watched “Kate & Leopold’. It was enjoyable. It is always good to get together with other woman share their lives.

As I was driving home I was reflecting on how so often we are so busy doing things that we do not really get a chance to connect with each other. We really need each other. For balance, for support for health and well being, we need each other.

Tonight furthers my resolve to really connect with other women in meaningful ways. I think that it will take time and it will take some purposeful actions on my part. But it will be sooooo worth it.

“A righteous man is cautious in friendship” Proverbs 12:26

Just Connie

Busy, Busy, Busy

I have a messy house. I do not like a messy house but I seem to have one anyway. Life has been very busy this past week and things seem to have gotten away from me. Besides that, I have brought in tons of groceries and décor that was given to me by a friend who is moving. So besides all of the normal cleaning that needs happen, there are new items to find a home for, spices to incorporate into my kitchen and so and so forth.

The thing I have discovered about myself over the years is that a messy house really makes me tense. I feel better when the house is organized and clean. So, tomorrow is Friday and it is my normal cleaning day. I will vacuum and dust and organize. I think I will have a full day ahead. But it will feel good to have it done.

When that is done I need to head outside and begin on my lawn. I need to mow and I have flower beds that are screaming for weeding. I cannot put it off or the rain will soon begin again.

Busy, busy, busy …. I think it is probably very good for me. I know it is good for my house.

“wash and make yourselves clean” Isaiah 1:16

Just Connie

Normal Day

The sun shone today. It was a surprisingly nice day in April. I should have been home mowing the lawn, but instead I spent most of the day in meetings and desk work. Then I checked on friends and ended up having a nice dinner out with them. That was a wonderful break. Then I ran home very quickly and let the poor dogs out to run for a bit. Then it was back to the church to spend a little time with the teens and then prayer meeting with the adults. Then finally back home to the animals.

Now I am sitting here thinking back on the day while the dogs are cavorting outside in the pouring rain that began a little while ago. Today was a good example of a “normal” type of ministry day, nothing spectacular just everyday needs and problems and meetings.

It is good to have a few normal type days. In fact if I could I would order up a few more of them. Well … I might not be able to do that, but I will enjoy the ones I am given. Who knows, perhaps I will get lucky with another one tomorrow.

“The path of life leads upward for the wise” Proverbs 15:24

Just Connie

Float Committee

I had a meeting tonight. That is nothing new and different, as a pastor I go to LOTS of meetings. But this meeting was a bit different from most of them. This meeting was actually rather fun.
We are fortunate in Willamina to have lots of community activities. One of the things the church participates in every year are the two Willamina parades; the Christmas Light Parade and the 4th of July Parade. Tonight’s meeting was to begin the plans for the 4th of July float for the church.

We threw out all kinds of ideas for the float tonight, from the ridiculous to the sublime. We did a lot of laughing and just enjoyed each other and all of the creative ideas “floating” around.

The bottom line is that I think we will a wonderful float. It is good to have such creative people working on it. Who knows … perhaps this will be the year for an award winning float….. stranger things have happened. I guess time will tell.

“But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create” Isaiah 65:18

Just Connie

Sucess

Success …. what is it? What does success really look like? Is it being King of the Hill? Is it having the most toys? Most of us have grappled with that question. Today in Sunday School we looked at the following verse.


“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3

There was really good discussion in class today as we looked at this issue of success. What makes me feel successful? Most people said it was the feeling of having accomplished something. The one wise person gave us this verse.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

That is really the epitome of success. To stand in front of God and say as Paul did “I have finished the race and I have kept the faith”. Because success will never be measured by our accomplishments but by our obedience. It is not about how fast I run, but how faithfully I run.

I am thinking it would be good for me to begin stretching and get ready for the race.

Just Connie

The Question

I started the day with a Men’s Ministry meeting. It might seem a bit odd that I would be attending the men’s Ministry meetings however I do have a good reason for doing so. Soon after I was assigned to the Willamina Church one of the men approached me. It was in fact Wayne who was the chairman of the Men’s Ministry group. He asked me, “Will you be attending the Men’s Ministry meeting on Saturday?” I looked at him and tried to figure out if this was a trick question as I finally said, “Well ….. uh …. nooo I do not plan on it.” He then asked me, “Are you the pastor of just the women or are you the pastor of the men too?”

I was rocked by that question. It really made me stop and think, and when Saturday morning came, I was at the Men’s Ministry meeting. I have attended ever since. It has been a great opportunity for me to get to know the men of the church, to work alongside them and for them to get to know me as well.

I am thankful that my friend Wayne pushed me to do something I did not think I wanted to do. It has brought me joy and satisfaction over the past year. It makes me wonder if I am asking my friends the right kind of questions. The kind of questions that might rock their world ….. questions that might bring new understanding and new relationships to them. I wonder if I am brave enough to ask those kind of questions? I hope I am.

"Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.” Job 42:4

Just Connie

Bare Spots

Well I have a bunch of bare spots in my house today. All the cowboy stuff I weeded out yesterday sold early at the yard sale today. The good news is that I picked up some antique and vintage things for the bare spots on my walls. I think tomorrow I will try to get them hung up. It sometimes takes me a few days to decide exactly where I want to put things.

Little by little the house is beginning to reflect who I am. It has been quite a process to get here. That process at times has been painful and difficult. Standing here and looking back though, I am thankful to be where I am. I am thankful for the healing that the new décor around the house indicates.

Tomorrow I will continue to fill the bare spots up. I guess that is what healing is really all about.

“Man's hand assaults the flinty rock and lays bare the roots of the mountains.” Job 28:9

Just Connie

Life Lessons

I spent most of the day helping friends today. We are getting ready for a large yard sale. I took the opportunity to continue to “de-cowboy” my house. This has been in process for the last year and a half and it always makes me feel a bit sad. I even went up to the attic and got some of the stuff that I had packed away last year.

Besides the feelings of sadness that I had I also had trouble knowing what I should get rid of and what Gerrald might want at some point in the future. I finally decided that personal things I would put away and anything else could go into the yard sale. I have to admit that it is a pretty difficult process.

I think what makes it difficult is the feelings that it generates and the fact that there are not clear cut guidelines on how to do this. I find that I am always checking my motives and double checking that there is no anger or bitterness that is entering into my decision making process.

This is one of those things that I would like an easy button for. Just imagine how nice it would be to press the button and be at the end of the process. But I think that would probably keep me from learning the lessons that God has for me through this transitional time. Sigh …. sometimes I wish that life’s lessons were more fun.

“Will you not learn a lesson and obey my words?” declares the LORD Jeremiah 35:13



Just Connie

One of Those Days

This is one of those days. My “aloneness” swirls around me in thick constricting ropes. Someone I trusted hurt me today. I do not think they were trying to hurt me, but they did. That hurt seems to have unleashed an avalanche of emotion and fear in me.

I know that healing is a process, but days like today remind me that the healing I have undergone is still fresh and tender. It can be easily damaged and today the wound is open and raw.

So tonight I will try to examine what I am feeling and why. I will examine this feeling of aloneness until I recognize it for what it is. Tomorrow is a new day and I will strive to meet it with courage and hope.

I am very thankful for the tomorrows that God gives me vecause sometimes I do not do as well as I would want with my todays.

"I hope you will put up with a little of my foolishness; but you are already doing that." 2 Corinthians 11:1

Just Connie

Court House Thoughts

I went to court today. I spent the morning at the Yamhill County Courthouse. The last time I was there was a fairly traumatic experience since Gerrald was facing a DUI. That was an experience that I never want to repeat. So I was ready and willing to build some new memories of our County Courthouse.

Today I was at court as a support to some good friends of mine who are trying to evict a problem tenant. The good news is that everything went very well and the tenants have to vacate the premises in the next few days.

I found it fascinating to watch the court process. There is nothing else like it in the world. One of the things that I find interesting is that everyone has a very clearly defined sense of purpose. They know what their jobs are and how to “get ‘er done.”

I wonder what would be different in our lives if we all had that clear sense of purpose and calling? I have a feeling that it would impact every area of our lives. For me, I know that I have that clear sense of purpose and call, but sometimes I have struggled to find the right job description.
In this transitional time of my life I am praying about how to best follow that call. Because I want to live with that clarity of purpose that I saw in the courtroom today. I want to live a life that “gets ‘er done.”

"For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable."  Romans 11:29

Just Connie

Hope Has Surgery

Hope puppy had surgery today. She is now 6 months old and that means she was finally old enough to be spade. So to prevent unwanted pregnancy or the other complications that can arise I called the vet last week and scheduled the appointment.

I took her in first thing this morning. She was bouncing all over and was wildly excited to be there to meet all her new friends. She charmed everyone with her endless puppy enthusiasm. I passed her off to a vet technician and I do not think that hope even noticed when I left.

I picked her up this afternoon. She was not much different than when I dropped her off. She was still a bundle of wiggling puppy happiness to see me. She ran out to the car and hopped right in surprising me with how well she was moving so soon after her surgery.

She has continued to surprise me all evening. She is once again trying to convince me to throw a ball for her to chase. I keep telling her that I am not going to let her run around chasing the ball. I am afraid in her enthusiasm she will actually hurt herself.

So in a little while I will put her in the kennel cage for the night so she will be protected against her own enthusiasm. And the house will be quiet and peaceful for a few hours. Of course that will only last until morning when I let the “hounds” out again. Then the chaos will begin once again.

I have to admit that it might life might be chaotic with the animals, but it is a wonderful kind of chaos to have.

"He also binds up; ...., but his hands also heal." Job 5:18

Just Connie

Resurrection

It is Easter. This is the day when all of Christendom celebrates the reality of the Resurrection. Today I had the privilege of preaching at the Community Easter Sunrise Service. The rain held off, though it was cold, we even could see some of the sunrise. You could hear the river in the background and their were geese flying overhead. It was truly beautiful. I am so fortunate to live where I do.

Here is the sermon outline from this morning. The text is John11 the story of the resurrection of Lazarus.

17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.



21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."


23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."

24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."


25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die."


38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39"Take away the stone," he said.



"But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."


40Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"


41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.


Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

This passage has reminders for us on this Easter Sunday morning.

1.  We need to listen and hear the voice of God
     a.  We need time alone with God ... prayer
     b.  We need daily time in God's Word.
     c.  We need regular corporate worship.

2.  We need to follow the voice of God
      a.  Giving
      b.  Serving

3.  Celebrate the voice of God
    a.  Live a life of thankfulness
    b.  Live a life that gives proof to God

Jesus still stands at the door of the tomb and calls us to come out. It is time for us to come out of the tomb.
Come out of the darkness
Come out of the fear
Come out of discouragement
Come out of the bondage of the past

It is time to come out of the tomb and step into new life and light. Resurrection is not just a possibility but a life changing reality. May this be a day of celebration for you. Happy Resurrection Day!

Just Connie

Quiet Evening

I am sitting in front of the fire tonight. Bubba Bunny is curled up with my sheepdog on the floor and Hope puppy is curled up next to me on the couch. The house is peaceful for the moment. These are the moments that are rich and rare.


These are also the moments which will prepare me for tomorrow. For ministers Easter Sundays are busy and full. There are special services and breakfasts, classes to teach and sermons to preach. There are usually visitors and family and well, the list just goes on and on.

So tonight I am quiet for tomorrow we celebrate. He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Just Connie

Easter Bunny

I have been playing Easter bunny today. It has been a lot of fun and I have to admit it brings back lots of wonderful memories for me. Easter was always a big deal in my house. I would spend weeks gathering candy, toys and things that would have spirtual significance for my husband and my children. I loved putting it all together. It was a joy.

This year I am creating an Easter basket for my newly pregnant daughter who is coming to see me early, early for Easter Sunrise service. It was a joy to find small things for her and the baby to celebrate this year. I can hardly wait to give it to her. I am also creating a basket for a friend of mine and it has been soooo much fun to put together.

Today brought back good memories. It also reminded me of how much my life has changed and I have to admit that brought a touch of sadness, I miss the feeling of being surrounded by family and people who love me. But there is joy to be found in what my life is now. I choose to find the joy and celebrate the moments I am given.

As I prepare for Easter this year I am looking for ways to connect with friends and family. I want to begin to build that sense of family and security that has been gone for so long. I think that it will take time and it will take effort. I also have a feeling that it might not always be a comfortable process. But I think it is really important.

The good news is that Easter is coming ... "He is Risen Indeed!".


"He is not here; he has risen" Matthew 28:6


Just Connie

My energy has been flagging these past few days. I am sure that it is a symptom of my emotions and situation but I have to say that I do not like it at all. I am finding it hard to turn my thoughts off at night and fall asleep and Hope Puppy has a very dependable alarm clock that will not allow silly things ... like me staying in bed past 6:30.

So what is the answer to this lack of zest and vitality. Well I think some of it I will just have to tough out. But I think there are some things Ii can do to help.
     I need to eat well, which I really have not the last week or so.

     I also need to go to bed earlier and just relax.

     I need to turn off the TV and pick up the books that I like.

     I also know that I need to get more exercise than I have been getting.


I think all of those things will increase my energy and well being. Sigh ... why is it that doing the right thing is what I least feel like doing?

“For what I do is not the good I want to do” Romans 7:19

Just Connie