It is Sunday and I should be posting my sermon, but I am too excited about our Harvest party. It is Halloween and the church threw our annual Harvest party. Tonight hundreds of people came through the church. they played games, ate hot dogs and walked in the cake walk.
It was so much fun to see all the costumes and see how much fun the kids were having. It was wild and loud and packed with people. But it was wonderful to see the church full of laughing families enjoying a night out together.
My hope is that these same people who came in tonight for carnival games and hot dogs will find their way back to the church and find hope in Christ. I think tonight was a good start. I am excited to see what God will do next.
Just Connie
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Dinner Guests
Tonight my house was full of people. People that were laughing, eating and having a wonderful time. It has been a long time since my house was filled with people and it was a very good feeling.
The celebration tonight was for everyone who had worked on my remodeling project. So many people gave of their time and expertise to help me. I wanted everyone to have a chance to see the finished product and to know of my deep appreciation.
It felt so good to see people just enjoying good conversation and enjoy being together. it felt good to be surrounded by friends. I think I need to do more of this. But tonight was a great start.
Just Connie
The celebration tonight was for everyone who had worked on my remodeling project. So many people gave of their time and expertise to help me. I wanted everyone to have a chance to see the finished product and to know of my deep appreciation.
It felt so good to see people just enjoying good conversation and enjoy being together. it felt good to be surrounded by friends. I think I need to do more of this. But tonight was a great start.
Just Connie
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Leadership Meeting
I drove through the rain tonight to join a group of Free Methodist leaders. We had the opportunity to pick the brain of a church planter "expert". It was fascinating to me. Though I am not a church planter many of the principles shared tonight were things any pastor needed to hear.
He talked about focus and funding and a systematic approach that really spoke to my heart. I came away from the meeting with a resolve to be who I am as a pastor and a determination to shore up my personal systems of management and pastoral care.
I am grateful for times like this that help me focus and infuses me with new energy. Now I just need to put it all to good use.
Just Connie
He talked about focus and funding and a systematic approach that really spoke to my heart. I came away from the meeting with a resolve to be who I am as a pastor and a determination to shore up my personal systems of management and pastoral care.
I am grateful for times like this that help me focus and infuses me with new energy. Now I just need to put it all to good use.
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Christmas in October
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ..... it is not quite Halloween and I feel like I should be singing Christmas songs and hanging the holly & the berries. I met with other community leaders tonight and we checked out all the outside Christmas lighted displays the City of Willamina uses. It was a matter of plugging them in and replacing the burned out bulbs. It was a thoroughly enjoyable time and we adjourned to the restaurant next door for chili and cornbread afterwards. I had a lot of fun getting to know some of the people that I only get to see during community meetings and events.
Tonight was a reminder to me that I need to get out and socialize. I have really hibernated over the past couple of years. I think it is time to begin to break loose from the grief and fear that have held me captive. There are good things ahead. God has plans to prosper and to bless me and I need to step into that with confidence and joy. Hmmmm ... maybe it is time to get out the Christmas music?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Just Connie
Tonight was a reminder to me that I need to get out and socialize. I have really hibernated over the past couple of years. I think it is time to begin to break loose from the grief and fear that have held me captive. There are good things ahead. God has plans to prosper and to bless me and I need to step into that with confidence and joy. Hmmmm ... maybe it is time to get out the Christmas music?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Just Connie
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Aha Moment
I had an "aha" moment today. You know that moment in time when several pieces of the puzzle all fit together in an understandable whole. Today that aha moment tied together some pieces that I had really been struggling with. Suddenly the distress and confusion of the past months melted away. The things that I had wondered if I was actually the problem became clear... it was not about me.
I am finding that the aha moment is freeing me of fears, confusion and indecision. It is a good feeling, a feeling I would like to become accustomed to. In fact I say, "bring on the aha moments. I am ready for some more."
I am finding that the aha moment is freeing me of fears, confusion and indecision. It is a good feeling, a feeling I would like to become accustomed to. In fact I say, "bring on the aha moments. I am ready for some more."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Restoration
It is Sunday and that means it is time for today's sermon. Today's text is found in Galatians 6:1-6.
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.
Christianity …. We are said to be the only army in the world that shoots it’s wounded. But that is not God’s desire … restoration is God’s desire. If I really want people to be restored there are some things in me that have to be in place.
I need to be:
1. Spiritually mature (You who are spiritual vs1)
2. Gentleness (vs 1 restore him gently)
3. Personally vigilant (watch himself vs 1)
4. Desire to help (Carry each other, vs 2)
5. Humility (vs 3)
6. Test your actions (vs 4 test your actions)
7. Compare against no one (vs 4)
8. Godly pride (vs 4 take pride in yourself)
9. Carry your own load (vs 5)
10. Fulfill the law of Christ
Love God & love other people, invest in restoration. It is life changing. There are no throw away people.
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.
Christianity …. We are said to be the only army in the world that shoots it’s wounded. But that is not God’s desire … restoration is God’s desire. If I really want people to be restored there are some things in me that have to be in place.
I need to be:
1. Spiritually mature (You who are spiritual vs1)
2. Gentleness (vs 1 restore him gently)
3. Personally vigilant (watch himself vs 1)
4. Desire to help (Carry each other, vs 2)
5. Humility (vs 3)
6. Test your actions (vs 4 test your actions)
7. Compare against no one (vs 4)
8. Godly pride (vs 4 take pride in yourself)
9. Carry your own load (vs 5)
10. Fulfill the law of Christ
Love God & love other people, invest in restoration. It is life changing. There are no throw away people.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Day Off
Today was my day off. I had to run to the church and meet someone and had to prepare my devotional for tomorrow's regional quiz meet. So that was not too onerous and it gave me time to run some errands. After I got done at the church I headed to Dallas to continue the search for the coffee table. No luck yet. I have not found the perfect piece that says, this is perfect for that spot. So the search will continue.
By the time I got done at the Dallas Walmart and grabbed a fast food lunch, the lingering headache I had been trying to ignore began to make itself felt in earnest. I decided to call it a day and headed home. I have spent a quiet afternoon and evening swigging aspirin and trying to beat the headache. So far no luck.
I think sometimes the stress of the week comes to roost when I do try to carve a day off. I think I need to stay more active. I know that it is a great stress reliever when I can do something very physical/ But tomorrow is another day. I will keep working on it.
By the time I got done at the Dallas Walmart and grabbed a fast food lunch, the lingering headache I had been trying to ignore began to make itself felt in earnest. I decided to call it a day and headed home. I have spent a quiet afternoon and evening swigging aspirin and trying to beat the headache. So far no luck.
I think sometimes the stress of the week comes to roost when I do try to carve a day off. I think I need to stay more active. I know that it is a great stress reliever when I can do something very physical/ But tomorrow is another day. I will keep working on it.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Board Meeting
Another meeting tonight. This one was a board meeting. It was a long, tough meeting, but we made it through. I am so proud of this group of people. They have had to face some really hard things in the 3 months I have been their pastor. Of course by default that means that I have had to face them as well. But I remain committed to doing the hard stuff that will lead us to health and godly balance in our church.
One of the things I have been saying over the past months is that leading is not about forging ahead into uncharted territory, it is about following. Following the path God sets before us.... through the hard stuff ... where ever the path leads. To be a leader we have to learn to follow.
So I am proud to be the pastor of people who are willing to follow, willing to face the hard stuff and willing to serve. It will be exciting to see where God takes us in the days ahead.
Just Connie
One of the things I have been saying over the past months is that leading is not about forging ahead into uncharted territory, it is about following. Following the path God sets before us.... through the hard stuff ... where ever the path leads. To be a leader we have to learn to follow.
So I am proud to be the pastor of people who are willing to follow, willing to face the hard stuff and willing to serve. It will be exciting to see where God takes us in the days ahead.
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Meeting Thoughts
Several months ago we had a large community event. It was a wonderful experience and had a great impact on our little community. Tonight we had a meeting to evaluate and debrief from that event. We talked about what worked well and what didn't. The event spotlighted a ministry from Sisters that offers a haven for abused animals and hurting children. it was a powerful evening.
The best thing about this meeting, is that we began planning the next event. Everyone was so pumped about it, that they are excited to plan another one and look at the possibility of starting a ranch here in Willamina. So December 2nd we will have a community meeting that I will chair to help us look at the possibility of a ranch right here in Willamina.
I have some praying and planning to do to prepare for that, but what an exciting possibility.
Just Connie
The best thing about this meeting, is that we began planning the next event. Everyone was so pumped about it, that they are excited to plan another one and look at the possibility of starting a ranch here in Willamina. So December 2nd we will have a community meeting that I will chair to help us look at the possibility of a ranch right here in Willamina.
I have some praying and planning to do to prepare for that, but what an exciting possibility.
Just Connie
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Carnivorous Bunny
Every night as part of my nightly lock up routine I bring in the dog's dish so the raccoons will not have a party on my deck. Tonight as usual, I brought it in and then curled up on the couch to IM with a Facebook friend. I was chatting away when my furry buddies caught my eye. When I bring the dog's food dish in the dogs always have to taste it and make sure I have not snuck in something exotic and wonderful. Tonight was no exception as they immediately stuck their heads in the bowl and began eating, what was different tonight was that Bubba Bunny decided to check it out. He pushed his way between them and raised up on his hind legs and began chewing away. I was so startled I just stopped and watched as he little by little edged the dogs out. He finally jumped up and sat in the middle of the bowl while he was eating. The dogs were totally put out. The sheepdog stood next to me and kept barking, "Do something!" Hope puppy just kept running back and forth between me and the bunny ... whining, "Do something!".
It is good to laugh ....
Just Connie
Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday, Monday
Monday, Monday ... Monday's. Officially Monday's are my sermon days. I try to protect them from appointments and interruptions but life happens regardless of my plans.
I jumped out of bed this morning and swept the floors (covered with leaves and debris from the dogs) and vacuumed and cleaned and threw my things in my briefcase and then headed to the office. I actually had a very productive morning and the sermon began to really click. I love that when it happens. It all just flows and falls into place. During break times I got some notes written took care of some paperwork and cleaned some of Sunday's debris off of my desk.
Then it was time to head out to the women's luncheon. It was lovely and I enjoyed the time with the ladies. From there it was back to the office and errands and the post office and finally home. At home it was time to spread some hay and do some more cleaning. It is days like this that I really miss another set of hands to help around the house. But eventually I came to a breaking point and slopped down on the couch to watch TV and catch up on Facebook.
All in all, it was a good day and I guess in truth I can sing along and Monday, Monday's .. so good to me .....
Just Connie
I jumped out of bed this morning and swept the floors (covered with leaves and debris from the dogs) and vacuumed and cleaned and threw my things in my briefcase and then headed to the office. I actually had a very productive morning and the sermon began to really click. I love that when it happens. It all just flows and falls into place. During break times I got some notes written took care of some paperwork and cleaned some of Sunday's debris off of my desk.
Then it was time to head out to the women's luncheon. It was lovely and I enjoyed the time with the ladies. From there it was back to the office and errands and the post office and finally home. At home it was time to spread some hay and do some more cleaning. It is days like this that I really miss another set of hands to help around the house. But eventually I came to a breaking point and slopped down on the couch to watch TV and catch up on Facebook.
All in all, it was a good day and I guess in truth I can sing along and Monday, Monday's .. so good to me .....
Just Connie
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Living on Full
Today's sermon text is found in Galatians 5:16-22
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
We have a problem, the sin nature that we were born with is not the nature that God calls us to. Paul is very clear here on the habits and attitudes that are part of the sinful nature and the things that are born out of being filled with the Spirit.
Acts of the sinful nature
• Sexual immorality & Impurity
• Debauchery
• Idolatry
• Witchcraft
• Hatred
• Discord
• Jealousy & Envy
• Fits of Rage
• Selfish Ambition
• Dissensions &Factions
• Drunkenness
• Orgies
The Solution to the Sinful Nature
Bring Filled with the Spirit .... Fruit of the Spirit
• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self Control
Filled with the Spirit, Living by the Spirit, keeping in step with the Spirit. It is an act of self will. I will be full of something .... it is my choice if I am full of myself or I am filled with the Spirit.
Just Connie
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
We have a problem, the sin nature that we were born with is not the nature that God calls us to. Paul is very clear here on the habits and attitudes that are part of the sinful nature and the things that are born out of being filled with the Spirit.
Acts of the sinful nature
• Sexual immorality & Impurity
• Debauchery
• Idolatry
• Witchcraft
• Hatred
• Discord
• Jealousy & Envy
• Fits of Rage
• Selfish Ambition
• Dissensions &Factions
• Drunkenness
• Orgies
The Solution to the Sinful Nature
Bring Filled with the Spirit .... Fruit of the Spirit
• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self Control
Filled with the Spirit, Living by the Spirit, keeping in step with the Spirit. It is an act of self will. I will be full of something .... it is my choice if I am full of myself or I am filled with the Spirit.
Just Connie
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Saturday Night
Tomorrow is Sunday. I have prayed through the churchand I am turning my heart and thoughts towards worship. This is the time every Saturday that I begin reflecting anew on the message for tomorrow and picking up the threads I have laid down for my days off.
Tomorrow I will stand before God's people and preach on sin and holiness. Tonight I am checking my heart ... to make sure there is no wrong thing that will impede God's message. This preparation is probably one of the most important things I do all week.
Just Connie
Tomorrow I will stand before God's people and preach on sin and holiness. Tonight I am checking my heart ... to make sure there is no wrong thing that will impede God's message. This preparation is probably one of the most important things I do all week.
Just Connie
Friday, October 15, 2010
Family Thoughts
Family has always been important to me. My family has been the framework for my success and happiness over the years. A little over a year ago my father suffered a traumatic brain injury and the past year has been a battle for him as he has slowly piece by piece fought to regain his life. In just the last few months he has reached some major mile markers, like getting his license back and going hunting ...things that are really important to him.
This morning he had a stroke. The call shook me deeply as i realized that everything he had been working so hard for ... might be gone. I packed up the sheepdog, put the puppy in the backyard and headed out to make the two hour trip to the hospital. It was a hard trip and brought to mind the horrible trip I made after his brain injury.
I was so relieved when I was able to wrap my arms around my mother and hear what was going on. She took me back to see my dad and see for myself that he had already made so much improvement. Over the next hours I was gladdened to see him continue to improve and to see his normal teasing begin to surface.
Tonight I am very grateful that he is recovering well and that there seems to be little lasting harm. I am grateful for the reprieve we were all given today. I am not ready to say goodbye to this man who has been a rock throughout my life. In fact I am praying for several more decades with him.
Just Connie
This morning he had a stroke. The call shook me deeply as i realized that everything he had been working so hard for ... might be gone. I packed up the sheepdog, put the puppy in the backyard and headed out to make the two hour trip to the hospital. It was a hard trip and brought to mind the horrible trip I made after his brain injury.
I was so relieved when I was able to wrap my arms around my mother and hear what was going on. She took me back to see my dad and see for myself that he had already made so much improvement. Over the next hours I was gladdened to see him continue to improve and to see his normal teasing begin to surface.
Tonight I am very grateful that he is recovering well and that there seems to be little lasting harm. I am grateful for the reprieve we were all given today. I am not ready to say goodbye to this man who has been a rock throughout my life. In fact I am praying for several more decades with him.
Just Connie
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Fall Thoughts
From there I headed to the office and tried to tie up some loose ends, have a short staff meeting, do some counseling and then jump back in the car and head to Mac for some office supplies. I spent several hours happily poking around, but I still have not found bookcases for my office!
So tomorrow on my day off, I think I will try again. There has to be something I can use so I can begin to get my office set up. i need to just get out there and keep looking. If I have to I might take a trip to Portland. Sigh .... I need my office to get finished up. It is past time. So ... tomorrow is another day. I will see what I get done.
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Hunt For Gold
The outing was to hunt for Chantrelle Mushrooms. Expensive fancy mushrooms that are found in the coast range. We hiked up and down canyons and ridges and climbed, crawled and searched. And there they were ... hiding in the moss, under logs and in hard to spot hidey holes.
So I came home dirty, tired and with bags of gold feeling refreshed from the fellowship of being with friends and working hard together. Now tomorrow .... tomorrow I might not be quite so glad. I have a feeling that tomorrow I will be sore. ... but I guess I will worry about that tomorrow.
Just Connie
Monday, October 11, 2010
Today's Thoughts
Quiet day today. I worked on my sermon and then rushed home to make lunch for a friend. I really wanted to get a professionals opinion on what is happening with Gerrald, my former husband. She confirmed my own concerns and fears and made the following statement. "If he is threatening to so something he probably will." That filled me with sadness and the awareness that I need to be vigilant.
So tomorrow I will go and speak with the local police and alert them to the threat. The whole thing just makes me so sad. I am really having trouble equating this scary man with the man who stood at the alter with me so many years ago. Though I do have to admit that there is a resemblance to the scary raging guy I would see when he was drinking.
I am glad for the quiet tonight that allows me to think. I am feeling the need to process everything that has happened in the last week. Sigh ..... I really do not want to speak with the police, sometimes it is hard to be responsible.
Just Connie
So tomorrow I will go and speak with the local police and alert them to the threat. The whole thing just makes me so sad. I am really having trouble equating this scary man with the man who stood at the alter with me so many years ago. Though I do have to admit that there is a resemblance to the scary raging guy I would see when he was drinking.
I am glad for the quiet tonight that allows me to think. I am feeling the need to process everything that has happened in the last week. Sigh ..... I really do not want to speak with the police, sometimes it is hard to be responsible.
Just Connie
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Life is a Dance
It is Sunday and here is today's sermon.
Galatians 5:7-13
7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Life is a dance and we choose our partner.…. If we Dance with agitators then we will get our toes stepped on. Here are some of the painful truths of dancing with the agitators.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
I hope you dance ...... dance and dance well.
Just Connie
Galatians 5:7-13
7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9"A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." 10I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty, whoever he may be. 11Brothers, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Life is a dance and we choose our partner.…. If we Dance with agitators then we will get our toes stepped on. Here are some of the painful truths of dancing with the agitators.
- Confusion
- Arguments & Bickering
- Destroying Others
- Destroying Self ... The penalty
- Positive Worship & Praise
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
- Encouraging Relationships
Romans 15:7
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
- Utilization of Gifts and skills
Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts
- Serve Joyfully
filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
We are called to be free. We are enjoined to use our freedom to serve one another in love. Life is a dance and I choose who my dancing partner is. It will determine the steps of my dance.
I hope you dance ...... dance and dance well.
Just Connie
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Family Thoughts
Family Day today! I hopped out of bed bright and early at 5:00. I have to admit the need was urgent as I woke to the sound of Hope Puppy throwing up. I was desperately hoping first of all that she was not on the bed and second of all that i would get her outside before the "event". I did not make it ... sigh. So then I grabbed cleaning supplies and scrubbed the carpet.
But once all of that was taken care of I got myself cleaned and ready and we headed to Burlington to see my parents because it was my father's 77th birthday. he did not know ti but we had a surprise party planned for him. it was so much fun to have people dropping in all day long and dad was so pleased.
It was great to spend time with my family who I do not get a chance to see very often. They fill my life with joy ... well when they are not frustrating me. But that is the norm for families. We have such high expectations of each other. But I love them and love spending time with all of them. It was worth the four hour trip to see them.
It makes me appreciate anew how blessed I am for a healthy family unit. The love and support I receive from them help me grow and succeed in every area of my life. Thankful, grateful and thankful ... that is a good ting to be.
Just Connie
But once all of that was taken care of I got myself cleaned and ready and we headed to Burlington to see my parents because it was my father's 77th birthday. he did not know ti but we had a surprise party planned for him. it was so much fun to have people dropping in all day long and dad was so pleased.
It was great to spend time with my family who I do not get a chance to see very often. They fill my life with joy ... well when they are not frustrating me. But that is the norm for families. We have such high expectations of each other. But I love them and love spending time with all of them. It was worth the four hour trip to see them.
It makes me appreciate anew how blessed I am for a healthy family unit. The love and support I receive from them help me grow and succeed in every area of my life. Thankful, grateful and thankful ... that is a good ting to be.
Just Connie
Friday, October 8, 2010
Rest Day
It has been a quiet peaceful day. I have needed that. I have cleaned house, raked leaves, herded the bunny. played with the dogs, read a book, watched TV and even did some baking. It was a good day off and one that I was over due to experience.
Today made me realize that I need to guard my days off. I need the time to rest, reflect and refresh. I need time to sort out the harsh words and the "slings and arrows" of the week and find God's peace. Today has given me rest and restoration.
Tomorrow, I will jump in the car and life will speed up again. But for today I rest.
Just Connie
Today made me realize that I need to guard my days off. I need the time to rest, reflect and refresh. I need time to sort out the harsh words and the "slings and arrows" of the week and find God's peace. Today has given me rest and restoration.
Tomorrow, I will jump in the car and life will speed up again. But for today I rest.
Just Connie
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Criticism
Criticism .... if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger right? Pastor's get a lot of criticism, people do not like the sermon, the way you walk, the way you talk .... well that list is too long to finish. But we get pretty good at letting criticism slide off us if it is not valid.
Today I got criticism from someone that I trusted that was pretty harsh. Among other things he thought I was a micro manager .... because I had share a a preference with him several weeks ago. I almost started laughing because of all the things that people could say about with truth that is absolutely not one of them. the urge to laugh quickly left as he went on and on ... and on. There was not much about me that he was pleased with and he felt the church was quickly leaving town in the proverbial hand basket.
I realized that there was very little I could say to him that would make any difference. I finally said that I would pray about the things he shared. And as I have prayed today I have felt the wrongness of his perceptions. There is a certainty in me that his hurts and fears have skewed his understand and viewpoint.
I find that tonight I am very tired and sad. Sad that he felt he just had to say all those things, sad that it takes so much time and energy to process it all. And I am tired, tired...... tired .....
Just Connie
Today I got criticism from someone that I trusted that was pretty harsh. Among other things he thought I was a micro manager .... because I had share a a preference with him several weeks ago. I almost started laughing because of all the things that people could say about with truth that is absolutely not one of them. the urge to laugh quickly left as he went on and on ... and on. There was not much about me that he was pleased with and he felt the church was quickly leaving town in the proverbial hand basket.
I realized that there was very little I could say to him that would make any difference. I finally said that I would pray about the things he shared. And as I have prayed today I have felt the wrongness of his perceptions. There is a certainty in me that his hurts and fears have skewed his understand and viewpoint.
I find that tonight I am very tired and sad. Sad that he felt he just had to say all those things, sad that it takes so much time and energy to process it all. And I am tired, tired...... tired .....
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Specter
Mental illness is a specter that most of us fear. I certainly do and today that fear gripped my heart as I spoke with a loved one. He was confused, paranoid, hallucinating and threatening. It broke my heart. I kept reminding him that I was his friend, not the enemy. I begged him to talk to a doctor, but I felt that my pleas fell on deaf ears.
I hung up the phone heart broken and frightened and feeling powerless to do anything to help. I stood there shaking, crying and praying hard. Realizing that there was little I could do physically to help prayer was my most effective weapon against this horror. When there is nothing else we can do, we can pray. Those prayers are not ineffective.
Praying .... still praying ....
Just Connie
I hung up the phone heart broken and frightened and feeling powerless to do anything to help. I stood there shaking, crying and praying hard. Realizing that there was little I could do physically to help prayer was my most effective weapon against this horror. When there is nothing else we can do, we can pray. Those prayers are not ineffective.
Praying .... still praying ....
Just Connie
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Freezer
I stood before the freezer saying, "No, no, no". But the mantra did not help, it had clearly all ready happened. My nice neat stacks of frozen meat, veggies and fruit were a warm, dripping, smelly mess. The food that I had counted on getting me through these next couple of lean months gone .... just like that.
Being a mature spiritual woman I leaned my head against the warm freezer and cried. It was just too much. The heartache and pressure of these last couple of weeks all came crashing down on me. I sat there in the garage and cried. I lifted my tear stained faces up to God and said, "This really stinks!" God said, "Yep it does." I swear I could hear God giggle at that point. God was right, it did stink ... literally. Through the tears the smell began to drift through. The smell of rotten meat was definitely in the air.
So I got up, backtracked the electric cord, found the smashed circuit that must have happened during the remodel and hooked up a new one. I was relieved to hear the hum of the freezer coming back on. Tomorrow I will take the refrozen mess and put it in garbage bags to go out with the garbage. That will at least cut down on the smell in the meantime.
Tonight I will take stock of what I can do to stretch my food budget and spend some time contemplating God's sense of humor. Though He is most definitely right .... it really stinks.
"As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor." Ecclesiastes 10:1
Just Connie
Being a mature spiritual woman I leaned my head against the warm freezer and cried. It was just too much. The heartache and pressure of these last couple of weeks all came crashing down on me. I sat there in the garage and cried. I lifted my tear stained faces up to God and said, "This really stinks!" God said, "Yep it does." I swear I could hear God giggle at that point. God was right, it did stink ... literally. Through the tears the smell began to drift through. The smell of rotten meat was definitely in the air.
So I got up, backtracked the electric cord, found the smashed circuit that must have happened during the remodel and hooked up a new one. I was relieved to hear the hum of the freezer coming back on. Tomorrow I will take the refrozen mess and put it in garbage bags to go out with the garbage. That will at least cut down on the smell in the meantime.
Tonight I will take stock of what I can do to stretch my food budget and spend some time contemplating God's sense of humor. Though He is most definitely right .... it really stinks.
"As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor." Ecclesiastes 10:1
Just Connie
Monday, October 4, 2010
Monday Thoughts
Monday, Monday .... so good to me .... or not. This Monday was a mixed blessing. It began with a phone call from my former spouse while I was getting ready to head to the office. He was mostly sober, but still so confused,. Among other things he is sure that there are people after him. I know that this paranoia is a consequence of the alcohol. But it is heartbreaking to me. I stood there for a long time and stared at the phone after he hung up, praying that God would somehow help him.
I spent several hours at the church working on my sermon and taking care of a multitude of problems. Then I headed home to do some quick cleaning before my afternoon appointment came to the house. I spent a couple of very pleasant hours with a lovely couple from church. It was good to get the chance to sit and visit.
Tonight I have spent curled up in front of the fire doing some research and watching TV. These kinds of evenings are rather rare and it has been good.
So all in all Monday has been ... well fairly normal with good and bad and all kinds of stuff between the two. Who knows Tuesday might even be better. At least I can dream about it .....
I spent several hours at the church working on my sermon and taking care of a multitude of problems. Then I headed home to do some quick cleaning before my afternoon appointment came to the house. I spent a couple of very pleasant hours with a lovely couple from church. It was good to get the chance to sit and visit.
Tonight I have spent curled up in front of the fire doing some research and watching TV. These kinds of evenings are rather rare and it has been good.
So all in all Monday has been ... well fairly normal with good and bad and all kinds of stuff between the two. Who knows Tuesday might even be better. At least I can dream about it .....
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Contact
I have written often about my former husband, my heartbreak and the struggle I have had to keep from letting the grief and sorrow overwhelm me. A month of ago he disappeared. He left the treatment program and just disappeared. As time has gone on I have been increasingly concerned for his well being. It has been a constant sorrow always running in the background over the past weeks.
Last night he called me. I was very glad to know that he was alive but he was very drunk and was .... well not himself. He also kept telling me that I was a good woman and that it was not my fault that he did not want me. I did not know how to respond to that. He kept telling me that I was a "sexy" woman. Given our history that just made me feel sick and scared.
I am not sure how to help him. I am not sure how much I can do this without bleeding to death ... because I find it so incredibly painful. I wish there was a clear path through this .... I wish that things were different.
Just Connie
Last night he called me. I was very glad to know that he was alive but he was very drunk and was .... well not himself. He also kept telling me that I was a good woman and that it was not my fault that he did not want me. I did not know how to respond to that. He kept telling me that I was a "sexy" woman. Given our history that just made me feel sick and scared.
I am not sure how to help him. I am not sure how much I can do this without bleeding to death ... because I find it so incredibly painful. I wish there was a clear path through this .... I wish that things were different.
Just Connie
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Organizing Thoughts
I have spent the day cleaning and organizing. I began the task I have been putting off and that is tackling the files and purging stuff that is not relevant or is outdated. I have to admit that it had been 2007 since I had really worked on the files. Gerrald had taken them over and since his departure have been just sticking things in the drawer.
So today I paid the price of all that procrastination. I just put my head down and began sorting papers. I made really good headway and I even got several more boxes unpacked. The family room is beginning to look like a real room again. It will be nice to have the desk a usable space again.
So I am ready to call it a day, sweep up the dust bunnies and get ready for bed. I feel like I have accomplished something today and that is a good feeling to end the day with.
Just Connie
So today I paid the price of all that procrastination. I just put my head down and began sorting papers. I made really good headway and I even got several more boxes unpacked. The family room is beginning to look like a real room again. It will be nice to have the desk a usable space again.
So I am ready to call it a day, sweep up the dust bunnies and get ready for bed. I feel like I have accomplished something today and that is a good feeling to end the day with.
Just Connie
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