Still making some small progress. I am ready to wake up one morning and discover that I am really feeling better. However, it is what it is. I need to just keep moving ahead.
So tonight I am curled up in front of the fire with Hope Puppy, dozing and watching TV. I guess when you think about it, that is not such a bad thing after all.
Rest, relax ... and heal .....
Just Connie
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Improvement
I am better today. For the first time in weeks I am not wheezing on every breath. There is still some wheezing but it is better. That is so huge and wonderful that I would do a happy dance if I could muster the energy.
What it tells me is that the course of treatment is working and I am on the mend. I am so very ready to be better. I am still very tired, hoarse and coughing a lot ... but I am better.
I was ready for a sure sign of improvement. Now if I can just keep moving in the right direction. I am already into my second week of medical leave and I am still SICK! I would much rather be strength building by now.
But I guess I have to have something to do with my vacation next week ... sigh
But it is still a step forward and that is a good thing.
Just Connie
What it tells me is that the course of treatment is working and I am on the mend. I am so very ready to be better. I am still very tired, hoarse and coughing a lot ... but I am better.
I was ready for a sure sign of improvement. Now if I can just keep moving in the right direction. I am already into my second week of medical leave and I am still SICK! I would much rather be strength building by now.
But I guess I have to have something to do with my vacation next week ... sigh
But it is still a step forward and that is a good thing.
Just Connie
Monday, February 25, 2013
Unexpected Angel
I was visited by a very unexpected angel today. I was not expecting this visitation but nevertheless .... there he was.
I had to run my son to his physical therapy appointment and I have to admit that it took everything I had to get up, dress and drive the 5 miles to Sheridan. This illness has just hung on and hung on and it has been a discouraging up and down journey so far. As I was waiting in the parking lot I realized that it was time for him to be done. I turned the key to start the engine .... and nothing ..... click, click, click.
It was at that point that I began to cry. I could not think of any solution I just sat there and cried. And that is where my son found me. He took my key from me, opened the hood and declared, "It is either the starter or the battery". That just made me cry harder. He was getting ready to figure out who he could call to come and help when there was a knock on the car door. "Hey Pastor Connie, do you need help?" And there in the middle of the Sheridan grocery store parking lot, was one of my benevolence clients. Before I could even frame a reply he had jumper cables out and had started my car. I jumped out of the car, threw my arms around him and told him that God had sent him special for me today.
As I drove away I was struck by how God had used someone so unexpected in such a powerful way for me. I felt such a strong sense of God's hand in it that has stayed with me all day. I needed that reminder. In spite of the illness, the slowness or recovery and the crashing and burning of my vacation plans, God is still working on my behalf. reminding me that I am loved and he has plans to prosper me ... not to harm me.
Now that is a very good feeling ...
Just Connie
I had to run my son to his physical therapy appointment and I have to admit that it took everything I had to get up, dress and drive the 5 miles to Sheridan. This illness has just hung on and hung on and it has been a discouraging up and down journey so far. As I was waiting in the parking lot I realized that it was time for him to be done. I turned the key to start the engine .... and nothing ..... click, click, click.
It was at that point that I began to cry. I could not think of any solution I just sat there and cried. And that is where my son found me. He took my key from me, opened the hood and declared, "It is either the starter or the battery". That just made me cry harder. He was getting ready to figure out who he could call to come and help when there was a knock on the car door. "Hey Pastor Connie, do you need help?" And there in the middle of the Sheridan grocery store parking lot, was one of my benevolence clients. Before I could even frame a reply he had jumper cables out and had started my car. I jumped out of the car, threw my arms around him and told him that God had sent him special for me today.
As I drove away I was struck by how God had used someone so unexpected in such a powerful way for me. I felt such a strong sense of God's hand in it that has stayed with me all day. I needed that reminder. In spite of the illness, the slowness or recovery and the crashing and burning of my vacation plans, God is still working on my behalf. reminding me that I am loved and he has plans to prosper me ... not to harm me.
Now that is a very good feeling ...
Just Connie
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Disapointed
Another Dr's visit today ... it was not as encouraging as I would have liked. He is trying me on an antibiotic hoping that there is an atypical baterial pneumonia that is exacerbating the problem. He is only giving me to Monday to improve and then he is sending me to a pulmonologist.
That was discouraging but what really took the wind out of my sails is when he told me that he was not sure I would be able to leave on vacation on the 4th. My first real vacation in over 10 years. I have been so excited about it and busy planning our routes and the things we would see. I sat there and teared up and I knew that I had no words to describe why it was so important to me.
The last time I went on vacation was an unmitigated disaster. My husband fell "off the wagon" got furious when I objected and drove me 10 hours home and deposited me on the doorstep while he rode off into the sunset. He was gone 8 months that time. I have not been on another vacation since. I have taken a week here and there to go backpacking but have never used up my vacation time.
This year I was determined to use vacation time, replace some bad memories and enjoy some time with my parents. The plan I came up with was to drive with my parents in very easy stages to Arizona to see my brother in law who I have not seen much of since my sister passed away. It just seemed like a win/win scenario for all of us. My mother and I have been pouring over trip planners and have lots of fun things mapped out.
I am usually pretty good at going with the flow. But I am struggling with this. I am sick, tired and discouraged and I know that influences what I am feeling today and colors my perception.
I think I need to rest knowing that God knows my heart and he is big enough for even this ....
Just Connie
That was discouraging but what really took the wind out of my sails is when he told me that he was not sure I would be able to leave on vacation on the 4th. My first real vacation in over 10 years. I have been so excited about it and busy planning our routes and the things we would see. I sat there and teared up and I knew that I had no words to describe why it was so important to me.
The last time I went on vacation was an unmitigated disaster. My husband fell "off the wagon" got furious when I objected and drove me 10 hours home and deposited me on the doorstep while he rode off into the sunset. He was gone 8 months that time. I have not been on another vacation since. I have taken a week here and there to go backpacking but have never used up my vacation time.
This year I was determined to use vacation time, replace some bad memories and enjoy some time with my parents. The plan I came up with was to drive with my parents in very easy stages to Arizona to see my brother in law who I have not seen much of since my sister passed away. It just seemed like a win/win scenario for all of us. My mother and I have been pouring over trip planners and have lots of fun things mapped out.
I am usually pretty good at going with the flow. But I am struggling with this. I am sick, tired and discouraged and I know that influences what I am feeling today and colors my perception.
I think I need to rest knowing that God knows my heart and he is big enough for even this ....
Just Connie
Friday, February 22, 2013
Rest, Relax and Restore
So here I am almost a week into my month of leave. I have to admit that it feels very strange to not be running to meetings and counseling sessions. I can feel that in many ways I am still trying to unplug and relax, but I am trying hard to do it. Who would have thought that relaxing would be so hard?
Tomorrow I see the doctor again and I think he will be pleased at my progress. I will talk about what comes next and how I can stay well this time ... which has seemed to be one of the more challenging things for me these past 7 months.
Rest, relax and restore that is my theme song for the next month.
Hope I can learn the words this time ....
Just Connie
Tomorrow I see the doctor again and I think he will be pleased at my progress. I will talk about what comes next and how I can stay well this time ... which has seemed to be one of the more challenging things for me these past 7 months.
Rest, relax and restore that is my theme song for the next month.
Hope I can learn the words this time ....
Just Connie
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Surrender
Well after months of illness and wheezing I have finally thrown my hands up in surrender. I have begun a month of medical leave and vacation. I am hopeful that this will enable me to both receive the treatment that I need and get the rest I need to allow my lungs to heal and get better.
The medical supply company dropped off a nebulizer for me to use the next week or so, the doctor sent me home with all the meds for the nebulizer which probably saved me several hundred dollars of med cost. He also gave me a steroid shot and begun me on oral steroids to go with the inhaled steroids. I will also see him again on Saturday to ensure that I am actually moving ahead.
I have to admit that by the time I hauled myself back to see him yesterday I was both feeling bad and feeling discouraged. But he is very positive we can turn the corner with this. So I am doing my part with every four hour treatments and following all the meds. I seldom go farther than my couch unless I am making a food run to the store or pellets for the stove. I am trying hard to be good.
But for some of us ... that is just so hard ....
Just Connie
The medical supply company dropped off a nebulizer for me to use the next week or so, the doctor sent me home with all the meds for the nebulizer which probably saved me several hundred dollars of med cost. He also gave me a steroid shot and begun me on oral steroids to go with the inhaled steroids. I will also see him again on Saturday to ensure that I am actually moving ahead.
I have to admit that by the time I hauled myself back to see him yesterday I was both feeling bad and feeling discouraged. But he is very positive we can turn the corner with this. So I am doing my part with every four hour treatments and following all the meds. I seldom go farther than my couch unless I am making a food run to the store or pellets for the stove. I am trying hard to be good.
But for some of us ... that is just so hard ....
Just Connie
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