Bubba Bunny

Over 13 years ago I found a tiny brown spotted bunny at a feed store. I brought him home and named him Bubba Bunny. Over the years he brought joy, laughter and frustration as he ordered his world around him.

He seemed to be a very easy going bunny, learned to use the litter box and had full run of the house. But then one day this mysterious thing called puberty arrived. He decided to have bab bunnies with the dog .... the dog was against it. He also decided it was important to "mark his territory". Which in bunny land means you deposit one rabbit pellet on anything you claim is yours. Unfortunately that included people napping on the couch, people standing in the hall and well .... basically anything that was within his line of sight. So .... Bubba Bunny made a trip to the vet, for an attitude adjustment which solved many of the troubling behaviors which had developed.

When I moved to Willamina, he staked out the hearth as his special territory. That meant you better have permission to put anything on the hearth (or he would push it off on the floor) or heaven forbid you should try to change his litter box or move any of his things around. He would charge and growl at offenders and it always made me laugh to see people run from this tiny 5 pound bunny.

Saturday I noticed that he was having trouble moving around by Monday he was much worse and I made the difficult decision to have him put to sleep. I am amazed at the depth of grief I am feeling for this little guy. He was  ... just a bunny. But yet he has been such a constant presence in my life over the past 13 years. His determination to order the world around him has been entertaining and often enlightening. I am going to miss him much more than I thought I would. I am thankful for the years I was able to spend with him.

Such a little guy .. to make such a big difference in my life .....

Just Connie

Birthday Thoughts

Birthday ... How is it possible that another birthday is upon me? Birthdays are always kind of bittersweet to me at this stage of life. It is not that I mind getting older, it is that I miss being surrounded by my family and the joy of celebrating the day with others. It is taking me time to adjust to this new season.

But because it is different , it does not mean tht it is bad or wrong ..l it is just different. So I am trying to reach myself th things tht will help me relax and enjoy the day with no expectations.mto let it just be what it is and enjoy.

I have been blessed with the outpouring of greetings and good wishes from people around the world today. The U.S., Africa, Japan, India ... It is truly amazing and it has blessed me as I have heard from friends from across the years.

I am thankful for what I have been given and I look forward to what else the day will bring.

Happy Birthday ... To me!

Just Connie

Frustration

I have been feeling so much better the last couple of weeks I packed up and headed to Kennewick to visit my daughter, son in law and grandson. I had no sooner gotten up there when my lungs  decided to take a vacation without me. Within 12 hours my lung function had plummeted and I was wheezing and short of breath. So after phone consultation with my dr back in Willamina, I was put back on antibiotics and begun on breathing treatments once again.

It was so wonderful to be there and get to know my grandson. But I was so disappointed to be so sick while I was there. I am so ready to find out what is causing this and get on the road to permanent recovery. This has been a long road and I have to admit that I get discouraged at times.

I am ready to reclaim my life and activities and everything that has been sidelined while my lungs have struggled to function. I want to hike and climb and do all the things I love to do. I want ... Well I guess it is not abut the want. It is about living fully in the moments I have. That means embracing even my frustration with where my health is right now.

Because when it comes right down to it, I do not want to waste my life grieving I've what is not there, but in celebrating what I have been given.

I guess it is time to celebrate....

Just Connie

Tomorrow

Tomorrow! Tomorrow I pack up the car and I head Northeast ... to see my daughter! I am very excited and can hardly believe the day is finally here.

I have been waiting for my lung function to improve so I can travel and to be cleared from the dr and my physical therapist. Now, all of that has finally happened and tomorrow I will be on my way.

I am hoping to get to know my grandson who I have only seen once when he was three months old. I am also hoping to spend some time with my daughter getting to know the young woman she has grown into. I find that is both exciting and scary.

My prayer is that we will connect in a way that is both comfortable and meaningful. 5 short day just does not seem long enough. But perhaps this will be the first of many visits with them.

I hope so ... I hope for such great things .... tomorrow ....

Just Connie

Getting Better

Feeling better, feeling stronger ... and that feels pretty good. My lung function ha taken some nice large leap in the pat week and I have begun a very slow  taper of my oral steroids. I am also off of the nebulizer treatment which seem to free up a lot of my day that I can actually do something productive.

The down side of all of this good news is that I am still on the oral steroid which means that I am not sleeping at night and I am still taking the narcotic cough syrup which I do not like at all. I find that I do not like feeling fuzzy and this particular medication is a time release med and so it hits you at odd times during the day with little to no warning. But on the up side, it is controlling my cough which is also improving my lung function so all in all it is probably a good trade off.

It is good to have my body somewhat  cooperating and getting back on track. I am within 50--60 point now of normal lung function for me and I can tell the difference in a big way So now I just need to keep working on it and keep healing.

It sounds so easy ... and yet it is so very challenging ...

Just Conni

Hiking Thoughts

Over 6 years ago my good friend and hiking partner passed away. It was a devastating loss in so many ways and I still miss her humor, strength and joy of life. Since her passing I have been trying to find someone who loves to, hike like I do. I have been unsuccessful int he attempts.

However this week I found someone who wants to hike, someone I like and enjoy being with. We have scheduled a short starting hike in the next few weeks. It is one that I have hiked many times and really enjoy. I can hardly wait to share the experience with someone who has not had the chance yet.

So during the upcoming weeks I will continue to try to get my lungs back working again so I can hike and enjoy it. Perhaps it will be good to have a concrete goal to work for .... I am sure that will that will make my lungs cooperate ....

Right?

Just Connie

Grief

I stood there in disbelief and stared at the phone. "Could you please repeat that" I asked the Fire Chief? But the words were still the same ... I was being asked to respond to a cardiac arrest of a friend of mine.

I threw on my clothes, and began the sad, much too long drive to their house as I prayed for the words, the strength and the wisdom I would need in the coming hours. Over the next 7 hours, I prqyed, I cried and I just ministered in any way that I could. As I kissed everyone goodbye, my heart broke for the tough journey that lay ahead for all of us.

As I drove away, the tears began in earnest as I was flooded with grief. How I loved and respected this family. Their godliness, the dedication to personal growth and the great love they showed so willingly to me over the years.

So today, I grieve. I feel the feelings and allow God to comfort my heart. God is big enough for this and it is not goodbye to my friend. It is only "until we meet again".

Tomorrow, there is new life and new hope.

Just Connie