“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like this quote. I think it is one I will return to again and again. It is a reminder to live well each day … to fullest breadth and depth of my capability. It is reminder to embrace the things that are right, that are healthy and help me to grow. It is also a reminder to turn away from the things that discourage me, sap my vision and erode my sense of worth. It points me to tomorrow as an unwritten page. It gives me the strength and hope to approach it with confidence and courage.
This last month is really an unprecedented time in my life. I have the freedom to rethink who I am and what I do. This is an opportunity to look at all my tomorrows. Sometimes to be honest that is kind of scary to me. but I think that it will have positive results.
I do not know where God is going to take me in the days ahead, but I believe that He has good things in store for me. My job is stay focused, stay positive and stay committed. The answers will come, I just need to finish each day.
“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this” Psalm 37:5
Just Connie
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Retreat Day 2
* The internet connection went down last night, this is the post that could not be posted
This has been a team building day. I think it was very good for all of us. It has given us a chance to get to know each other and begin understand the hearts of those we serve with at the church.
I think one of the most valuable things we have done is to just get to know each other. To talk and laugh and tease and then to laugh some more. It will help us begin to trust each other and to learn the skill sets of the other pastors. I am excited to see what God is going to do in the days ahead.
I walked down to the beach this afternoon. It was beautiful and the tide was going out so it gave me a chance to search for agates. That is always entertaining to me. I came back with a couple of nice shells and a pocket full of agates. I also got out in the fresh air and got some good exercise as I climbed back up the 56 stairs down to the beach.
To wrap things up tonight, we were asked our most embarrassing moments in the pastorate. I have not laughed so hard in ages. I still have a smile on my face as I think of the silly moments we shared with each other. It was a wonderful way to wrap up a good day.
It reminds me of how important it is for me to be with people, to laugh and to just grow in the moment I have been given. Today was filled with good moments.
“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:2
Just Connie
This has been a team building day. I think it was very good for all of us. It has given us a chance to get to know each other and begin understand the hearts of those we serve with at the church.
I think one of the most valuable things we have done is to just get to know each other. To talk and laugh and tease and then to laugh some more. It will help us begin to trust each other and to learn the skill sets of the other pastors. I am excited to see what God is going to do in the days ahead.
I walked down to the beach this afternoon. It was beautiful and the tide was going out so it gave me a chance to search for agates. That is always entertaining to me. I came back with a couple of nice shells and a pocket full of agates. I also got out in the fresh air and got some good exercise as I climbed back up the 56 stairs down to the beach.
To wrap things up tonight, we were asked our most embarrassing moments in the pastorate. I have not laughed so hard in ages. I still have a smile on my face as I think of the silly moments we shared with each other. It was a wonderful way to wrap up a good day.
It reminds me of how important it is for me to be with people, to laugh and to just grow in the moment I have been given. Today was filled with good moments.
“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:2
Just Connie
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Love Never Fails
What a full and busy day. This morning was church and then I went home and frantically finished packing and getting the food together for the retreat. Then I sat down on the couch and fell asleep while I was waiting for my ride.
We drove to the beach and laughed and talked like mad all the way over. Just get a bunch of professional communicators together in one place and you will never be able to get a word in. We unpacked, I got the music together and we sang and just enjoyed the music.
After a fabulous dinner, we had a wonderful time of worship together. One of the pastors’ brought her flute and there is a piano, two of us brought guitars. I think tomorrow we will try to just play music together and enjoy each other. It should be lots of fun.
Our big discussion tonight was our philosophy of ministry. I think all of us were in the same line of thinking. “Love never fails”. Our ministry at Willamina is all about building relationships and loving people. It is a great scripture to focus on.
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
But as usual it made me stop and think. The scripture keeps going through my mind. Has love failed for Gerrald and I? Did I fail to love as I should? Did I give up too quickly? Is 9 years of alcoholic rages enough fear and turmoil? How many times of being left is enough? Is 6 times enough, or the 7 or 8th I think this is.
In truth, I really do not think love failed us. But I think the alcohol failed us both. I think the alcohol whispered lies and promises that my husband believes. I think that when he drinks he does not have to deal with me or any other problem or stressor. I think there are hurts in his life that alcohol blurs for him. It makes me incredibly sad but I do not see a fix for this. I think the hurt and the damage has gone too far.
But I still think that love is the answer. I still need to receive God’s love, I need to give and express love in healthy and godly ways. Even when I do not feel loved or loving. There is love all around me. I cannot let my grief insulate me … because love never fails.
Just Connie
We drove to the beach and laughed and talked like mad all the way over. Just get a bunch of professional communicators together in one place and you will never be able to get a word in. We unpacked, I got the music together and we sang and just enjoyed the music.
After a fabulous dinner, we had a wonderful time of worship together. One of the pastors’ brought her flute and there is a piano, two of us brought guitars. I think tomorrow we will try to just play music together and enjoy each other. It should be lots of fun.
Our big discussion tonight was our philosophy of ministry. I think all of us were in the same line of thinking. “Love never fails”. Our ministry at Willamina is all about building relationships and loving people. It is a great scripture to focus on.
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
But as usual it made me stop and think. The scripture keeps going through my mind. Has love failed for Gerrald and I? Did I fail to love as I should? Did I give up too quickly? Is 9 years of alcoholic rages enough fear and turmoil? How many times of being left is enough? Is 6 times enough, or the 7 or 8th I think this is.
In truth, I really do not think love failed us. But I think the alcohol failed us both. I think the alcohol whispered lies and promises that my husband believes. I think that when he drinks he does not have to deal with me or any other problem or stressor. I think there are hurts in his life that alcohol blurs for him. It makes me incredibly sad but I do not see a fix for this. I think the hurt and the damage has gone too far.
But I still think that love is the answer. I still need to receive God’s love, I need to give and express love in healthy and godly ways. Even when I do not feel loved or loving. There is love all around me. I cannot let my grief insulate me … because love never fails.
Just Connie
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Independence Day
What a wonderful day. July 4th in a small town has got to be one of the best celebrations ever. I was invited up to the neighbor’s house for a neighborhood picnic. I only knew one other person there, but it was actually fun to meet new people. It was a very relaxed time and I am glad that I pushed myself a little bit to take part.
I ducked out of the picnic early so I could go to the church and help with the elephant ear booth. Willamina celebrates the 4th in a big way. There is a parade and everything from arm wrestling contests to mud drags. The church raises money for missions by selling elephant ears. It was a lot of fun to pitch in and work hard for 5 hours. I am very glad that I could help, but man oh man are my feet tired. My job was to roll out the dough. I am so greasy and covered with flour. I am past due to hit the shower.
The parade was delightful. There were lots of military units and classic cars and tractors and children. The local VFW had a great presentation. It was everything a small town celebration should be. It had a very homegrown feel and I loved it all.
I came home put a cake in the oven for the pastor’s retreat tomorrow and then ran up the hill to watch fireworks with the neighbors. It was a spectacular display. Lots of “oohs” and “ahs”. I think it was the best I have seen in years.
All in all it was a busy and happy day. I have to admit to a little sadness around the edges as I went through everything by myself. But for the most part I was too busy to think about it. And there are worse things than being by myself. In honor of the 4th and where I am emotionally I offer this verse.
”It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1
Freedom has been given, I need to not let the sadness of loss enslave me.
Just Connie
I ducked out of the picnic early so I could go to the church and help with the elephant ear booth. Willamina celebrates the 4th in a big way. There is a parade and everything from arm wrestling contests to mud drags. The church raises money for missions by selling elephant ears. It was a lot of fun to pitch in and work hard for 5 hours. I am very glad that I could help, but man oh man are my feet tired. My job was to roll out the dough. I am so greasy and covered with flour. I am past due to hit the shower.
The parade was delightful. There were lots of military units and classic cars and tractors and children. The local VFW had a great presentation. It was everything a small town celebration should be. It had a very homegrown feel and I loved it all.
I came home put a cake in the oven for the pastor’s retreat tomorrow and then ran up the hill to watch fireworks with the neighbors. It was a spectacular display. Lots of “oohs” and “ahs”. I think it was the best I have seen in years.
All in all it was a busy and happy day. I have to admit to a little sadness around the edges as I went through everything by myself. But for the most part I was too busy to think about it. And there are worse things than being by myself. In honor of the 4th and where I am emotionally I offer this verse.
”It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1
Freedom has been given, I need to not let the sadness of loss enslave me.
Just Connie
Friday, July 3, 2009
Positive Choices
Summer has come to Willamina. For some people that means sunbathing and gardening. For me, it means that my sheepdog no longer has to have baths in the house! Yeah man! Today was bath day and all it took was a bottle of shampoo and the garden hose. I love the ease and simplicity. I love every part of it. I have to admit that Charlie is not all that fond of it, but then she didn’t much like indoor bathing either.
I have been trying to decide if I am going to walk up to the park for the concert. I had every intention of going, but it is getting harder and harder to convince myself to go. I admit that I really do not want to go by myself. I guess taking the dogs with me does not count as a social engagement.
I am not sure why this feels so uncomfortable to me. I had every intention of attending and I thought it would be a lot of fun. But suddenly the thought of sitting by myself in the midst of so many people … well it seems kind of lonely and sad.
So instead I think I will walk up to the neighbors and see what they are doing. That seems like a positive compromise. It will get me out of the house, will give me a chance to socialize and will be an opportunity to spend time with people I love. I guess it is all about choices.
“then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, …..But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15
God continues to move me ahead, one day and one decision at a time. Positive choices will bring positive changes.
Just Connie
I have been trying to decide if I am going to walk up to the park for the concert. I had every intention of going, but it is getting harder and harder to convince myself to go. I admit that I really do not want to go by myself. I guess taking the dogs with me does not count as a social engagement.
I am not sure why this feels so uncomfortable to me. I had every intention of attending and I thought it would be a lot of fun. But suddenly the thought of sitting by myself in the midst of so many people … well it seems kind of lonely and sad.
So instead I think I will walk up to the neighbors and see what they are doing. That seems like a positive compromise. It will get me out of the house, will give me a chance to socialize and will be an opportunity to spend time with people I love. I guess it is all about choices.
“then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, …..But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15
God continues to move me ahead, one day and one decision at a time. Positive choices will bring positive changes.
Just Connie
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Walking Ahead
It was a hot summer day … a good day. I think it has even been productive, though you would not know it by looking at my house. I began the day much earlier than I had planned. But the dogs both decided that it was time to be up and about. There is no way that you can sleep through 120 pounds of excited sheepdog jumping up and down on your chest. Not that I didn’t try, it just was not possible.
I started with an early morning 2 hour meeting at the church with my new boss. I am looking forward to working with him. I think he is a talented godly man. I also think there is a reason God has brought a strong ministry team together at Willamina at this point in time. I think there are exciting days ahead for the church. It will be fun to discover fully my role in the days to come.
I was back at the church tonight. I wanted to go over the music for VBS and then we had a Pastor’s cabinet meeting. It is so nice to be part of a group of people that like each other. That are kind, loving and nurturing. It is a blessing and a balm to my heart. I was surprised when they asked me how they could pray for me tonight.
I am amazed at how quickly the days are going by. It has been almost a month since I was let go by the Mission. One day blends into another and I have not accomplished nearly as much as I was hoping I would by this time. But I think I will not focus on what I haven’t done and focus on what I have done in the past month. I have hiked. I have spent time with family and friends. I have slept late and taken naps. I have looked for work. I have gone camping. I have done some yard work and a little house work. I have been ordained and received a new church assignment.
Wow …I guess when I look at it like that I have done a lot in the past month. You know there will probably be just as much or more happening in the month ahead. I think looking ahead is a good thing. It is easier to see where I am going if I am looking ahead. It will probably mean that I have less likelihood of falling on my face if I watching where I am headed. That would be a good thing.
“for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again “Proverbs 24:16
The bottom line is that I do not walk alone. That is enough to give me hope.
Just Connie
I started with an early morning 2 hour meeting at the church with my new boss. I am looking forward to working with him. I think he is a talented godly man. I also think there is a reason God has brought a strong ministry team together at Willamina at this point in time. I think there are exciting days ahead for the church. It will be fun to discover fully my role in the days to come.
I was back at the church tonight. I wanted to go over the music for VBS and then we had a Pastor’s cabinet meeting. It is so nice to be part of a group of people that like each other. That are kind, loving and nurturing. It is a blessing and a balm to my heart. I was surprised when they asked me how they could pray for me tonight.
I am amazed at how quickly the days are going by. It has been almost a month since I was let go by the Mission. One day blends into another and I have not accomplished nearly as much as I was hoping I would by this time. But I think I will not focus on what I haven’t done and focus on what I have done in the past month. I have hiked. I have spent time with family and friends. I have slept late and taken naps. I have looked for work. I have gone camping. I have done some yard work and a little house work. I have been ordained and received a new church assignment.
Wow …I guess when I look at it like that I have done a lot in the past month. You know there will probably be just as much or more happening in the month ahead. I think looking ahead is a good thing. It is easier to see where I am going if I am looking ahead. It will probably mean that I have less likelihood of falling on my face if I watching where I am headed. That would be a good thing.
“for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again “Proverbs 24:16
The bottom line is that I do not walk alone. That is enough to give me hope.
Just Connie
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Into the Light
I had a neighbor stop by today while I was working outside. We stood there and chatted for about 10 minutes and he invited me to the 4th of July celebration he was having. I was surprised and blessed that he took the time to say hi and to invite me.
It dawned on me that it is the type of interaction that I never had time for before. I would have been inside the house preparing for the next day or at a meeting or just too tired to bother. It is one of the many small blessings I am finding along the way that are completely unexpected but oh so very welcome.
I really want to take the time to enjoy this time off. I want to spend more time with people, get work done around the house and perhaps do things that I have not had the time or the inclination to do in years.
I guess that a lot of it will be determined by my attitude. Attitude can make this a positive growing time or attitude can make this a miserable time. Sigh … it is so easy to slid into despair … or grief. But I choose to keep fighting against the darkness.
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
God loves me and calls me out of the darkness, it will be up to me to step into the light. It is time to move forward.
Just Connie
It dawned on me that it is the type of interaction that I never had time for before. I would have been inside the house preparing for the next day or at a meeting or just too tired to bother. It is one of the many small blessings I am finding along the way that are completely unexpected but oh so very welcome.
I really want to take the time to enjoy this time off. I want to spend more time with people, get work done around the house and perhaps do things that I have not had the time or the inclination to do in years.
I guess that a lot of it will be determined by my attitude. Attitude can make this a positive growing time or attitude can make this a miserable time. Sigh … it is so easy to slid into despair … or grief. But I choose to keep fighting against the darkness.
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
God loves me and calls me out of the darkness, it will be up to me to step into the light. It is time to move forward.
Just Connie
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