VBS - Last Night

Tonight was the last of our Vacation Bible School. I think it went fairly well for the most part. The kids seemed to have a good time and I always enjoy being with them. But I have to admit that I am very tired. It has been a long, long day.

Besides putting in a full days work, then I reported to the church at 4 to prepare for this final session. I got the music all laid out for the day and then headed to meet and greet in the lobby. I love getting the hugs from all the kids as they come in. It warms my heart and makes all the work and the preparation so worth it. After I led the opening, I circulated to all the different groups. I made a cross necklace with one group, painted a ball hat with another and played water games with yet another group. Then I headed back to the sanctuary to prepare for the closing. Before I knew it, the kids were hugging me goodbye and it was time to put the church back together again.

So here I sit enjoying a cool breeze and thinking about bed. Tomorrow I will sleep a bit longer than normal and then head to the church and begin the next project.

Just Connie

VBS - Night 3

Well I made it through another night of VBS, This is usually about the time that energy starts to flag and the kids get pretty wound up. All things considered though things are going very well.

The Willamina Church does an incredible job with VBS. Fabulous scenery and skits, lots of teachers, helpers and everything done extremely well. This year though we have not had as many children. In fact we have had about the same number of children as we have teachers and helpers. That is certainly something we will need to evaluate.

But the bottom line is that the children are learning biblical truths that can impact them all their lives. VBS was life changing for me as a child. and I will never discount the importance it can have on the life of a child. I pray that the truths they learn tonight will light their paths in the years ahead.

Just Connie

VBS - Night 2

Vacation Bible School .... I can remember thinking 12 years ago as I left the pastorate that I had probably worked my last VBS and perhaps that was a good thing. But imagine my surprise when God brought me back to the pastorate and I was suddenly thrust back into it.

This year I am leading the music and the opening and the closing. I am trying to adapt to the way that the Willamina Church does things. I think I am finally beginning to fall into the pattern. They do an incredible job and probably have about 25 adults that are working to bring it all together this year.

It is rather energizing to be with the kids. One little boy ran back after the others had all left and gave me a big hug. It warmed my heart and made the extra hours soooo worth it. It is wonderful to see them all having such a good time.

We have two more nights of Vacation Bible School left. I am just hoping that I can keep up with them, make it fun and share Christ in a meaningful way. I guess that is plenty to prepare for.

Just Connie

Celebration Path

Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! Today I stepped back into the senior pastorate. I am still rather amazed to find myself here. But it was such a wonderful incredible affirmation of the restoring grace of God.

12 years ago my husband's choices ripped me out of the pastorate. I was broken hearted as I grieved the loss of my community, friends and church. The next few years were a roller coaster of emotion as I struggled to discover what this new reality was that I found myself in. Over the years I settled into Rescue Ministry and thought that was God's answer for my call to the ministry. But it never completely satisfied the tug within me. At heart I was still a pastor.

Against all my expectations God began to open doors of ministry for me. It was amazing and scary and absolutely wonderful all at the same time. But step by step God was drawing me back into the place I longed to be.

The past  year as I have been transitioning, I found myself at times doubting that it would really happen. It seemed far away and rather nebulous at times. But I kept trying to move ahead as I plodded down the path I thought God was leading. Sometimes that path was rocky, sometimes indistinct and sometimes it seemed to disappear in the mist.

Today the path emerged from the mist as I stood before the congregation, as my superintendent affirmed my call and my gifts. I found my eyes filling with tears as he spoke, the tears rolled down my face as I looked out on my family and friends who had made the long trip to Willamina to be with me this morning. As people streamed forward to pray with me I was humbled by their love and support.

I am looking forward to this chance to serve. I think there are great and wonderful things to be found along this path. Because when it comes right down to it, it is all about the journey. I pray that I will never get to caught up in the destination that I do not celebrate the path.

Just Connie

Countdown - 1 Day to Go!

Today I stood before the other pastors and delegates as I was officially appointed as the senior pastor of the Willamina Free Methodist Church. It was a good feeling and as I stood there I was humbled at what God was doing.

I also admit there was a feeling of relief that this transition time was almost over. I found it challenging in many ways to step back into the role of an associate. It was awkward in ways that were unexpected and sometimes painful. And in these last days I am struggling to let it be peaceful. Though too often I do not find that peace easy to capture. In fact it is rather like trying to nail jello to the wall.

But tomorrow, I will stand before the congregation, the superintendent will lay hands on me and publicly acknowledge the passing of the mantle. Sunday's coming ......

Just Connie

Countdown - Day 3

The clock is ticking and the transition time is just about complete. This is the part of the many transitions that tempers can become frayed and short as the stress levels rise. I have found myself taking a deep breath and seeking peaceful thoughts several times in the last couple of days.

Today has been  especially stressful. I have found myself working hard to not be hurt at being excluded or minimized. I realize that in times of transition and change that people are seeking a power base or validation. But I have to admit that I am disappointed and my heart is a little heavy tonight.

But I will get a good nights sleep and tomorrow wake ready to attack Countdown Day 2. I am still expecting great things.

Just Connie

Found Friendship

Friendship is something that is sometimes hard to quantify. You know it when it is there and it is something that adds so much richness to our lives in so many ways. For many years I prayed for a friend. God answered that prayer and I was graced with a friendship that transcended my every expectations. Our families grew together and we shared everything. We laughed and grieved together, helped raise each other's children and continued to knit our hearts together in love. Then in the space of a moment our lives blew up around us and everything changed.

I deeply grieved the loss of that friendship and over the years nothing has eased the pain or the way that I missed her in my life. For 12 years we have had no contact but several weeks ago we had contact through Facebook. It was tentative, polite and careful as we slowly assessed where we were. Tonight she called me and the years melted away, To hear her voice brought tears to my eyes and the ache that had been in my heart so long began to slowly ease.

Tonight I am filled with hope and my heart is overflowing with love as I contemplate what I have gained. The lost has been found and I am so very thankful.

"strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:7

Just Connie

Countdown Day 5

I headed to church this morning and tried to get some of my desk work cleared up. But it was one interruption after another and I finally gave up and went with the flow. I ran errands, took someone home and then headed home to mow the lawn.

I have a lot of loose ends to tie up this week. I should also make a run into McMinnville to pick up some of the things I will need next week. I want to paint the office before I move the bookcases and all my books in and I have a lot of organizing to do. I also will have new office help so I need to face that as well.

Tomorrow I am introduced to the Willamina Chamber of Commerce and pick up another loose end there. I have a bunch of those kind of things to do. But it is all good. In fact it is more than good, it is wonderful. Sunday's coming and that is also a good thing!

Just Connie

The Countdown

Well the countdown has begun. In just a few short days I will be the senior pastor of the Willamina Free Methodist Church. I am thrilled, I am humbled, I am excited and I am a hundred other different emotions sometimes all at the same time.

I am finding that as the day quickly arrives there are a hundred different things that need to be done. I have meetings and planning. I have to prepare for being out of town on Friday and Saturday. I have visitation that needs to be done and of course there are the animals and the house to take care of as well.

I also just found out that the July 4th community service has been cancelled. Which means we have to put together a service at our church that day. So things are hopping. And of course as I know from experience, it will only get more so after Sunday.

Mostly I am continuing to pray for vision and direction for the weeks ahead. I am confident that God will do wonderful things. We just have to listen and follow. I have a feeling it will never be dull.

Just Connie

Father's Day Thoughts

Today is Father's Day.As I have reflected on my own father today I have realized that I am so very grateful for  him. I am grateful for the wonderful stable childhood he gave me. I am grateful for the love and the lessons he gave so freely to me. I am grateful for the wisdom he has shared and the support he has unfailingly given throughout my life.

I also realize that I need to celebrate every day that I have with him. This last year has reminded me that we do not know how much time we are given with those we love. So I am going to work hard to spend as much time as I can with both of my parents. I need to bask in their love, grow and learn through their wisdom and just celebrate the great people they are.That will be a task that will be a joy to carry out.

Just Connie

Hospital Call

Unexpected phone calls are part of a pastor's life. Last night I medicated my head cold and headed to bed fairly early. It was about 10:00 that I got the call that sent me rushing for my clothes, car keys and directions to Providence Milwaukie Hospital. As I drove I thought about the man I was about to see.

Gene is a retired pastor that I had the privilege to pastor for a year. The doctors were saying that his heartbeat was erratic and they were not sure he was going to make it. As I drove to the hospital I thought back to the year that I got to know and love him. He was full of knowledge and I often enjoyed his perspective. He was also  verbal in offering opinions which sometimes made him uncomfortable for people. But I always had a respect for him and was thankful for his depth and maturity.

On a day that I  will never forget I learned what kind of man Gene was. It was the day that I had to stand before the congregation and tell them my husband had left. I was honest and shared from my heart. I told them of his drinking and unpredictable behavior. I chokingly told them that I did not know where he was. Only that he was gone and was not coming back. As I stood before the quiet congregation sobbing, Gene stood up and came forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. He spoke words of comfort and strength. As he spoke others began to come forward., First one and then another and yet another until finally all of the congregation stood with me to offer their love and support. I will never forget that Gene stood alone and made the long walk to the front of the church to stand with me when my world had blown up around me.

Last night I was privileged to stand beside Gene and offer him love and support. I was further  thrilled as he responded to medications and his heartbeat began a normal rhythm. He is recovering and might soon be moved from intensive care.

When you think about it, what more precious gift can we offer than to stand alongside each other when life is difficult? So often it is not the words that we say, it is the touch of our hand and the love on our faces that really count. So perhaps ... less words and more doing. That sounds like a pretty big job.

Just Connie

Home Again

I am at my parents for a few days to visit and be with Dad for Father's Day. I got here in time to enjoy the good weather for a little while. We did some weeding, threw the ball for Hope puppy (endlessly) and fired up the weed eater. It is so good to see Dad doing so well. He mowed the lawn and did all the weed eating. I was very encouraged to see how much better he is doing.

I have been reminded that I am very fortunate to have him here with us. It was just a few months ago that he was fighting for his life in the hospital. He has worked very hard to get where he is today. It makes my heart swell with pride and love to see him succeed and work towards recovery.

This week  my father reached a milestone in his recovery. He was cleared to drive. He has been undergoing all kinds of testing and training to get him there. He did it! He is now legal to drive again. That is a huge  symbol of how far he has come.

I am looking forward to this time with Dad and I am grateful for the opportunity to be here with him. I keep whispering to God, "Thank you, thank you, thank you ..."

Just Connie

Drift Creek Falls

I woke up congested and still fighting the head cold. So being a responsible adult like I am, I filled myself with aspirin and cold meds and joined the neighbor for a hike.

We headed to Drift Creek Falls which is a short hike, but a very pretty one. It is also 30 minutes from the house so it is one that I head to often.

It was misty and cool as we unloaded, strapped our packs on and headed down into the canyon. We had gone about a mile when it began to rain steady and hard. We laughed pulled our hoods on and kept going and enjoyed the lush green scenery.

By the time we reached the bridge the rain had settled down to a gentle mist again. The suspension bridge stretches 100 feet above the canyon floor. The 75 foot Drift Creek Falls thunders alongside the bridge. It is always a thrill to stand on  the swaying bridge and watch the Falls. From there, we kept going and slowly wound our way down to the base of the falls where we ate our lunch.

Following a wet lunch and short break we headed back up the canyon. Moving as quickly as my old bones would move we headed back to a nice warm dry car. It rained on and off as we climbed. By the time we reached the car we were wet muddy and winded, but very satisfied.

So here I am tonight curled up in front of the fire . I think it is about time to go and find some more cold meds. It is really good to be a responsible adult.

Just Connie

The Battle

I am fighting a cold and today the cold is winning. I am headachy and tired and my nose is streaming. I finally to bed this afternoon and slept for 4 hours. I have been taking Airborn and trying to shake the bug. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be on the winning side.

So tonight I will head to bed and take my meds and rest to fight the battle tomorrow.

Just Connie

Unemployment Woes

Dealing with unemployment this past year has been enlightening, discouraging and often frustrating. Today I got a letter from them telling me that I was invited to begin a new employment claim. I was pretty confused since nothing had changed. The only choice they gave was to call a number. So I called and went through a very complicated phone tree and then spent 20 minutes on hold. but at long last I got a real person and together we actually ironed everything out.

The thing that I really find frustrating about dealing with government agencies is that I feel so powerless to really solve anything. The systems that have been set up are so complicated and so hard to use that it is often overwhelming.

I guess that this experience is a good reminder for me that many people find life to be like that..... frustrating and overwhelming. They feel powerless to bring change or good things into their lives. They are overwhelmed by the systems and problems they face. Hopefully this experience will bring new compassion and understanding to me. At least I would like to think that all this frustration is bringing something good.

Just Connie

Dinner with Joy

I had dinner with my daughter Joy tonight. In fact she cooked. It was wonderful. She is a great cook! and I so enjoyed my time with she and her boyfriend. They are just a whole lot of fun to spend time with. We talked and laughed and laughed some more. We played games and ate until we could not eat any more.

It always gladdens my heart to spend time with them. I am always thrilled when they can fit me into their busy schedule. We are going to squeeze in a hiking day real soon and that will be so much fun.

I am proud of the woman that my daughter is growing into and I am thankful for the time we get to spend together.

Just Connie

Sunday Happenings

It has been a very long and full day. It began early as most Sundays do, but I also had potluck dishes to prepare in addition to normal Sunday morning activities. So I cooked and frosted the cake and mixed the last of the salad ingredients together and packed the car up and headed to church.

Once there I set up for Sunday School class and did my normal meet and greet. I so enjoy that time with God's people just enjoying each other and finding out how their lives are going. Sunday School class was really good this morning. There was a lot of participation and really good discussion.

Next was Worship and it was good. The music was outstanding and uplifting. I presented our financial position and invited people to pray about a special gift to retire our debt. People responded well and I am hopeful that we will be able to regain the financial ground we have lost over the last year.

After Worship we had a church potluck. I was blessed to sit with a couple of our young people and I loved being with them. There was good food and great fellowship. I packed up and headed home to get ready for the next event. Which meant I needed to get the cream of broccoli soup finished I had begun for the upcoming pastor's dinner. So I got the soup going and checked my e-mail and spent about an hour relaxing. Then it was time to be off for the next event.

Tonight all the pastor's met together for fellowship and to touch bases. We spent several hours just enjoying each other and talking about upcoming events and the pastoral transition. Then it was time to head home and here I am. tired but happy after a full day.

I am getting excited about the upcoming transition. Everyday as it gets closer it becomes more and more real to me. I think God has wonderful and unexpected things ahead. I need to just keep going.

Just Connie

Lawn Thoughts

I hate mowing the lawn. I try really hard to be responsible and to get it done before it is too high. I try to take pleasure in the hard physical work and the smell of freshly mown lawn, but the reality is that I do not like it. I am doing better than I did last year. Last year I sat and cried every time I mowed the lawn.

I think for me it is a symbol of my aloneness. The lawn and the lawn mower highlight that there is no one at my side to help. But whether I like it or not, it is my responsibility. So every 4 or 5 days I will pull out the mower, gas it up and mow. Perhaps in time I will be filled with a sense of accomplishment ... but perhaps  not. But regardless I will get 'er done.

Just Connie

Unexpected Call

I got a phone call today. It was a  phone call that I knew would come eventually, but one that I admit I had not thought about in months. It completely took me by surprise. The phone rang and I picked it up and the moment that I dreaded was there.

The person calling was Gerrald's mother. My former spouse had never told his family that he left me. He has had no contact with his mom over the past 4 or 5 years. I was forced to tell her that her son was gone and that we were divorced. I really struggled to find words that would be fair and not judgemental as  I shared what had happened in very general terms.

We spoke for a long time and my heart broke for her as she wept for her son. Gerrald has never lacked for people that love him and have tried to help him. It was a another reminder that I am not alone in grieving over his choices.

The phone call has made me a bit introspective today as I have reflected on everything that has happened over the last several years. It has been a time of turmoil and life change. But through it all God's grace and love has seen me through. I know that it will not stop now. His grace continues to to show the way.


"It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace" Hebrews 13:9
 
Just Connie

Lost

I lost my purse today. The whole purse thing is still not natural for me. For years I never carried one, I carried a briefcase. Whenever possible I still don;t carry one. They rather annoy me. However, there are things in my purse that are vital to my life. Things like my drivers license and my debit card. Things that are make life go smoothly.

I knew my purse had to be in the house. I wrote a check to a friend and I had been home ever since. But I could not find my purse. I even began looking in unusual places. I looked in the refrigerator, in the coat closet, in every cupboard in the kitchen.... but still no purse. I finally gave up and went to my meeting without it, luckily  my keys hang by the door and not in my purse. But I came straight home afterwards and really began tearing things apart. I looked in the garbage can, under chairs and beds, in the dog kennel ..... I looked everywhere I could think of. My shoulders slumped in discouragement and I began trying to think of all the cards I would be forced to cancel and replace .... and getting a drivers license with no id. it was all too horrible to contemplate. I finally opened the door to the sewing room and there was my purse. I suddenly had a vision of myself grabbing the vacuum and setting my purse down. How could I have forgotten that? But yet I did.

There is a voice in my head that tells me I am getting old if I cannot even remember something so simple. Of course that same voice tells me I would have found the purse if I had put the vacuum away. You know that voice is really annoying.

Just Connie

Meeting Possibilities

I had a meeting today. No surprise there since a large part of my job is attending meetings. But today's meeting was with other Free Methodist Pastors. I have to admit that I really enjoy it when I have the chance to do  that.

When I was a Nazarene Pastor we had a very strong pastor's group. In fact we met every week for Bible Study and prayer and lots of fellowship. I loved that weekly meeting. It played an important part in my my sense of strength and well being. I desperately missed it when I moved into the Rescue Ministry.

In the years since then I have looked for that same sense of belonging and community that I found with that group. Today I began to see that perhaps I will  find it with the Free Methodist pastors. I know that it takes time to build relationship, but the possibility is there and that is exciting. No .... that is stupendous!

Here's hoping for more stupendous possibilities.

Just Connie

Numbers

I have been slogging through financial figures for the church and I am frustrated. The numbers do not add up. Well that is not entirely true, they add up ... they add up to the wrong numbers! So I have been adding and subtracting and trying to make sense out of the senseless.

I rather like working with numbers most of the time. I ended up working with them much more than I ever expected. I just knew that I would never use what they were teaching me. I was sooooo wrong. I have budgeted and run analyticals and projections and done things with numbers I never could have guessed. One of the nice things about numbers is that they are exact and measurable. Every time you add 2 and 2 you get 4. Numbers are an exact science.  Not so much today.....

But tomorrow I will go at it again and see what I can discover. There is a way through the morass, I just have to find it. There is plenty more slogging to do. Perhaps I should wear my muck boots?

Just Connie

Wedding Shower Blues

I went to a wedding shower today. They are a darling young couple and they love each other very much. It was good to be be with everyone but I have to admit to a lingering sadness as I watched them. It was a reminder to me that there is no one who will gaze lovingly into my eyes .... no one to grow old with me .... I am all alone.

I know that there are much worse things than being alone. I have personally lived through some of those "worse things" but still the sadness was there. I do not like being alone, I do not like it at all. I do not think that God wired me for this aloneness. However this is where I am. For this season I am alone.

I do not want to get lost in this aloneness for I believe that God is big enough for what I face. Being alone is not the problem, my feeling of loss and loneliness is the problem.  It is time for me to spend more time with people, time to get out and find a hiking partner. It is time to get moving in every way.

It sounds good .... but it also sounds like hard work. ... We will see how I do in the days ahead.

Just Connie

Graduation Celebration

I went to a graduation today. It was wonderful to be there and lend my support to a young lady who has worked very hard. It was wonderful to see three generations of her family there to support her. She is the first one from their family to ever go on to education beyond high school. They were all so proud of her and it blessed my heart to see their love and approval of her.

I think it is important for families to celebrate those milestone moments. As we join together and rejoice we have a unity and strength that is beyond ourselves. I have a feeling that we should probably do more celebrating than we do. Just think how things might be different if we found something to celebrate every week? How about every day? I have a feeling it would lighten our hearts and bring strength for the challenges and difficulties we face every day.

I think I will look for something for the critters and I to celebrate. it will be good for us. They are always up for a party.


"Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate." Luke 15:23


Just Connie

Mouse War Chapter 2

I got scared today. Deeply paralyzingly and completely scared. It started out innocently enough. I went into the kitchen to get something to drink and there in the middle of the kitchen floor was a mouse. At first I thought it was dead, then it moved. Immediately my adrenalin production went into overdrive. I jumped back and hovered about 5 feet away from the mouse. I could not bring myself to get any closer to it.

I told myself that my fear was irrational and the mouse was obviously dying. I told myself to toughen up and do what what needed to be done. I even pointed out to myself that I was all alone and I needed to learn to do these things for myself. I finally was brave enough to grab a mixing bowl and drop it over the top of the mouse to contain it. But now I had a bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor and I could not bring myself to touch it. For two hours I manoeuvred around that bowl.

I finally admitted to myself that I was defeated. Defeated by a dying mouse that turned me into a shaking sweating frightened wuss. I picked up the phone and called my friend and fellow Pastor Clair. With deep embarrassment I told him of my problem and he came and disposed of the very dead mouse.

I have to admit to being chagrined that the mouse defeated me. I want to be strong and fearless and to be self reliant. Instead I found out I was a stereo-typical woman running shrieking in fear from the mouse. I am not sure that I like this about myself, but I do not know how to change it. Perhaps I will just have to accept it. I think I will call my mom and tell her about the killer mouse with 10 inch fangs that attacked me in the kitchen. If I cannot change me, then perhaps I can change the story.

"I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling." 1 Corinthians 2:3


Just Connie

Rainy Day

I am sooooooo tired of the rain. I am a native Oregonian and even I am tired of this constant cold rain. The ground is wet and mucky and it is impossible to work in the garden at all. It is just downright miserable to do much of anything but snuggle by the fire.

Today, my friend Mary and I were determined to take the dogs on a walk around the Willamina Pond. It misting within the first quarter mile. It started raining hard before the first mile was up. it alternated between light rain and heavy rain through the entire walk. The dogs were oblivious to the deluge. Mary and I were not quite so oblivious to the rain dripping off the end of our noses.

I am ready to walk in the sunshine. I am ready to work in the flower beds. I am ready for the rain to stop. Sigh ...... unfortunately I do not think I can do anything but wait.

"But there are many people here and it is the rainy season; so we cannot stand outside." Ezra 10:13


Just Connie

Auction Temptation

I went to an auction today. One of the men from church knows that I am looking for flooring for the family room and suggested I go with him. So I dutifully measured the room and figured out the square footage. And we loaded up the horse trailer and headed for Woodburn.

The Woodburn Auction has a little bit of everything. There is livestock and household goods, building supplies and even machinery. You never know exactly what they will have. Today, I quickly found out they did not have flooring. That was a bit disappointing but there was too much to look at to feel bad.

My favorite by far was the animals. I fell in love with a huge grey chinchilla rabbit. Bubba came very close to having a room mate. But I did not succumb to the temptation. Then I headed over to the livestock barn because the man I went with was looking for a bull. So we looked at all the livestock and picked out some likely looking guys and then headed to the auction floor.

The very first lot they brought out was 5 baby pygmy goats. They were so cute. I could have tossed them all in my Rav 4 and taken them home with me. Trying to resist the temptation to bid was the second big temptation of the day. Temptation number three arrived soon after when a beautiful buckskin horse was brought in. It was a calm sound young mare and the bids topped at at $65. Oh that was a pretty horse. But I took a deep breath and remembered that there was no way that I could explain away a horse in my backyard to my neighbor.

So I withstood temptation and came home without a bunny, a herd of goats or a horse. Sigh ...... perhaps at the next Auction I should throw a Bunny carrier in the back of the car?

Just Connie