Busy

There are times when the  schedule of a pastor seems to all pile up. What seemed reasonable to commit to several months ago does not seem to be quite so reasonable now. Besides my normal weekly things such as sermons and visitation I have some very big things coming up. Things that I wish were not all happening at the same time.

The first one of course is the remodeling project at my house. I am dependent on other people's schedule. So that is taking more of my time than I would like.

The next thing is our community event "The Evening of Hope". I am singing and it has been difficult to get rehearsals and practice in with everyone else's schedule. I only have one more week to prepare for it. I have to admit that I am nervous. But I will do the best I can.

Then there is my high school reunion. I am looking forward to seeing everyone but I am also a little nervous. And the schedule is very tight that weekend. Besides two reunion events I am teaching a class at Camp meeting on forgiveness and I have my nieces wedding with all of the attendant rehearsals and parties.

All of this will happen  within two weeks. I know that this is the norm, but I am still feeling a bit pressured. I will try to get everything done and do my best. I need to get some real studying time in this week. So some of the remodeling stuff might get put on hold for a week. So for the next few days I will pray a lot, try to get plenty of sleep and try to listen to what God is saying to me in the midst of the busyness. This will be an interesting week.

Just Connie

Disheveled Disarray

I am feeling in disarray. It is not a comfortable feeling for me at all. The family room is torn up and I have furniture stacked in the garage. There is dust on everything in the house. And things are only marginally better at the office. I am missing the office furniture I need and I have not brought in the boxes and boxes of office things that are still stacked up in my shop.

Any one of those things would grate on me, but added all together it is maddening. I feel disheveled and unorganized. I know the family room project will take time. I am estimating up to two months to complete it. The dust ... well I can either dust off of everything everyday ..... or let it go until the project is complete. My office .... well I will keep looking for bookcases. Eventually I will have the furniture I need and I will begin to unpack my office things.

I guess this is actually a reminder to me that life does not always fit in nice neat comfortable little packages. Sometimes it is messy and unorganized. And sometimes that is okay ... it is just the way it is.

Just Connie

People Day

It was a people day for me. I had someone going in for surgery this morning so the day began bright and early as I met her for prayer beforehand. Then I moved to my next meeting and met the man who is overseeing my remodeling project. We looked at stove stuff for the pellet stove and tile for the hearth. I did not find what I like and I will head to Salem tomorrow to see if I can order the tile I found at Home Depot last week. I am excited, I thought it was beautiful and it was natural stone.

From there I headed back to the church to meet with a couple who is overseeing one of the ministries for us. That was a wonderful meeting as we talked about short and long term goals for the ministries and some of the upcoming changes. I really enjoyed my time with them.

After that I was already into mid afternoon and it was time to go out and see a family who is getting ready to move. They had their big garage sale today. I was able to pick up some tools and wiring that I need and spend an hour with people that I will really miss in the months to come.

Tonight I am tired but feeling very satisfied with the things that I got done. I did not get any studying or planning done but I was able to spend time with people and that is always a good thing. In fact people is what ministry is all about. You know I love my job!  It is not so much in the words we say, it is the love we live .... and that is all about people.


"You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."  2 Corinthians 3:3


Just Connie

Night Attack

I woke up gasping for breath. Rolling over I fumbled in my nightstand trying to find my rescue inhaler. Each breath got more difficult. I tried desperately to take the medicine into my lungs but realized that it was getting harder and harder to breath. Again and again I tried the meds. Dizzily I staggered into the bathroom each breath  a loud rasping wheeze for air.

I grabbed my cell phone, realizing that if I had to call for help I had a very narrow window that I would be able to. I stood there holding to the counter trying to decide if this wheezing breath was better or worse than the last one. Finally, I realized that there was some improvement and that is when I began throwing up. Gasping and retching I lay on the bathroom floor just trying to stay conscious. Finally, shakily I was able to breathe in and breathe out; wheezing and rattling but still breathing.

Last night was frightening for me. It is rare for me to have a serious asthma attack and it is the first one I have had when I have been all alone. As I stood there last night struggling to breathe I realized that I had to make the right decision. There was no backup, no one to check on me. My very life was depending on my own wisdom.

I was fortunate that last night I made the right decision. I am praying that I continue to make wise choices. Since I am fairly positive that kind of wisdom is not found in me, I will have to find it in Christ.

“I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life.”  Psalm 119:93

Just Connie

Saying Goodbye

Pastors have to say goodbye a lot. There are all kinds of goodbyes. There are people who pass away and we lead the congregation in saying goodbye. There are people who get mad and move to another church. Then we are teaching people to say goodbye in healthy and loving ways. And there are the goodbyes that stem from those times when life requires a new geographic location.

Tonight the church had to say goodbye to a wonderful couple who has added a lot of the church over the years. But life was drawing them to a new town and away from us. I listened to people share stories as they laughed and cried together. There was a wonderful feeling in the room as we reflected together on all they had meant to us.

I do not want them to go, but I recognize the need for them to go. I also realize that it will bring a change to the church. The roles they filled will be empty ... because no one is quite like them. It is one of the great mysteries .... how God can make each of us individually unique. We will feel their loss but I know that in time new people will rise up and the gifts and talents they bring will enrich the church in new ways.

I guess that saying goodbye is really an affirmation that God is still sovereign. I believe that God will bring us through and love and grace will still lead the way. The relationships we build never go away and love is never wasted.

Just Connie

The Project Update

Today the men came to officially begin on the remodeling project. They ripped out the hearth, replaced the patio door and installed a new picture window where the hearth had once stood.

They also discovered that my sheepdog Charlie had tunneled under the deck, under the foundation and built herself a den. It was horrifying and huge. We filled it with masonry debris and then covered it all with cement. I have also once again blocked her access tunnel. That was an unexpected obstacle but they overcame it with grace and good humor.

It was such a blessing to work alongside the men today. It is a bit humbling to have them helping me. But I am learning accept help with  deep thankfulness. I do not know when I last felt so cared for and protected. God is doing a wonderful thing here in Willamina and a wonderful thing in my heart.

Just Connie

Mowing

I hate lawn mowing. Well that is not quite true. I do not mind when other people mow the lawn I just hate it when I do it. There is just something about mowing the lawn that never fails to point out to me that I am ALONE!

Tonight while I was mowing I ran out of gas. I stood there and remembered with sadness the afternoon that Gerrald tried to teach me to mow the lawn and I ran out of gas. I remembered how we laughed together.I remember my total inability to start the lawn mower and how overwhelming it all felt to me. I remember Gerrald's gentleness, his humor and his kindness to me that day. How I miss that man ....

I am reminding myself that "that man" was lost in a drunken alcoholic rage.... perhaps not so much lost as murdered. But I was still filled with sadness as I stood and looked at the lawn mower. But I pulled out the gas can, filled the gas tank and then finished mowing the lawn.

I keep hoping that at some point mowing the lawn will not be such a dreaded chore. But I realize that it might be something that I never really like to do. I am hoping to at least get to the point when it does not fill me with such a sense of aloneness and sadness. I am working on it ....

Just Connie

Project Thoughts

Well the project continues. I have drug out the furniture that I can carry on my own and the rest will be moved Monday when my work crew arrives. Today I finished demolishing the base of the hearth. All that is left is the part that the stove stands on and the wall. I made a good start on it for all of them.

These kind of projects are so consuming. But yet there are other things to get done as well. I need to get my office set up at the church, I need to do things at home, I have things to prepare for the upcoming community event and ...well the list just goes on and on.

But I will try to accomplish the next task ahead of me. Right now it is tomorrow's Sunday School and Worship Service. Then I will move onto the next thing. So I will get a good night's sleep and be ready to hit the ground running tomorrow. There will be good things in store.

Chipping Away

I have been chipping away on the hearth project today. I have about half of the base taken apart so far. My tools for this project are a hammer and a small chisel. I am chipping the bricks out of the mortar and cleaning them as I go. It is quite a project. My hands hurt I have bruises and  small rock chips embedded in my shins (that is what I get for waring shorts) and my neck and shoulders are beginning to hurt.

In spite of all of that it feels good to look at how much I have gotten done. I am hoping to have most of it dismantled by the time the work crew arrives on Monday. Besides the work I have some cleaning and organizing to do before then as well. I only have tomorrow and Sunday afternoon to get it all done. Monday is coming fast.

So I guess it is time to go and take a shower and head to bed. Tomorrow is another day to "get er done".

Just Connie

The Project

The project has officially begun. The dust is flying and things are all torn apart. After living here for over 6 years the process has begun to transform the family room. From a dark hardly usable space I am hoping over the next weeks it will become light and bright with usable space.

I am now trying to dismantle the current hearth which is a huge for to ceiling brick monstrosity that takes up a quarter of the entire family room. This is a pretty tough part of the process. I think the mortar they used was supposed to last for at least several hundred years. The other thing that makes the hearth decommissioning difficult is that the hearth is the special domain of Bubba Bunny. Bubba rules his kingdom with an iron paw. He does not tolerate strange things left on the hearth, moving things around on the hearth or fussing with his nest box or food dishes. So when I came and began to take it apart with a hammer and chisel he began stomping his little bunny foot at me. (The bunny equivalent of flipping me off) Right now I have  about 1/4 of the base taken apart. I am trying hard to get it finished before the work crew begins on Monday.

Tonight as I worked he kept trying to push under my hand holding the chisel. I kept pushing him away before he got clipped by the hammer. But every piece I took off and every brick I removed he had to personally check out.

So tomorrow I will begin to box all the loose items up and put them away until after the project is finished. I will work some more on the hearth and get things ready for the crew on Monday. There is transformation around the corner and I am ready for it to happen. Inf act I am ready to be part of the process.

Just Connie

The Tightrope

Sometimes being a pastor is like walking on a tightrope. You are trying hard to keep your balance as the line is moving wildly beneath your feet. Today was very much like that. I could feel the line moving beneath my feet and I was just trying to keep my balance. There were sensitive circumstances that needed careful handling, there were difficult people and there was more work than there was hours to get it done in.

Somehow the line did not toss me off today. There are those days that it does and then there is also those days that I end up clinging for dear life to that tightrope. For all of these days I know that God is sufficient. If I fall he will pick me up, when I am clinging He will give me extra strength and when I am still on my feet He is whispering words of encouragement to me.

You know it is a good thing that I like heights.

Just Connie

The Repairman

My car had a hard time this weekend. I got a crack in my windshield and my passenger window stuck in the down position. I have to say that this is the right time of year to have it stuck wide open. It had not worked well for the last year and I had drug my feet in having it fixed. for all kinds of reasons.

Today the glass repairman showed up to replace my windshield. It was great he came right to the church to fix it. When he was done he mentioned that he noticed that the passenger side window was off its track so he fixed it. I was stunned. I had struggled with it for over a year and he fixed it. It was an unexpected gift and it blessed me.

As I waved goodbye to him, I reflected on how those unexpected moments lighten the heart. His kindness brought a smile to me and as I think about it I am still smiling. He did not get any extra pay for doing what he did. He did it because he saw that it needed it and he could do it. I have a feeling that there are things I can do that need to be done. Things that will bring a smile to someones face. You know come to think about it ... that would put a smile on my face too.

Just Connie

Monday Technology

I find it hard to quantify much of what I did today, I spent a lot of time on the phone and a lot of time on the computer. At one time I was on my cell phone and the church phone was ringing while I was in the midst of an instant message chat. It would make a great comedy scene.

What it does is highlight the changing technology face of ministry. I can touch and communicate with  scores more people than I could with just visitation. Tonight while I have been blogging I have heard from 4 different people with prayer needs, updates and just plain life.

I am very thankful for the increased contacts that this new technology brings me. It is a wonderful pastoral tool. I e-mail prayer needs to the prayer team as well as meeting reminders to board members. I have a facebook page that many of the younger church members interact with. I am in the midst of preparing a new church web site and a church facebook page. I think this will all be important tools for us in the months ahead.

I guess it is a reminder that it is important to keep abreast of what is happening and to learn how to adapt the new technology for ministry use. You know they never teach you this stuff in school.

Just Connie

A Moment

Today's sermon was all about salvation. The scripture passage was in Galatians 1:1-5

      Paul, an apostle—sent not from men nor by man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father,
      who raised him from the dead— 2and all the brothers with me,

       To the churches in Galatia:
      Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself 
      for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 
     to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

 

We have a problem in our lives. It is a problem that grows from the Fall of Adam and Eve. It is the problem of sin. The inherent tendency in us to choose ourselves to choose other than God. If anyone doubts it they need to spend time with a two year old. A two year old knows two words "No" and "Mine". It is the perfect snapshot of our rebellion and selfishness

1. We are sinful (vs 4; gave himself for our sin)

      For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God 3:23


2. We are separated from God
     That sin separates us from a holy God. It is a chasm that we cannot cross on our own.

3. There is rescue

     a. Jesus Christ who left heaven and became flesh

     b. Jesus Christ who gave his life

    c. Jesus Christ who was resurrected

Conclusion: We do not have to stay in our sin. The power of the resurrection is the same power to resurrect us from sin and death. It is a choice that we make for life, for hope and for forgiveness.This is a life changing moment, a moment that our entire future hangs in the balance on. Today is the moment. This is the time to give your life and heart to Jesus Christ. It is the time to be reconciled to a holy God, to find forgiveness to find hope. God loves you, he has a purpose and a plan for you.God loves you, God loves you, God loves you and He is calling you this morning.

Just Connie

Adventure

I love an adventure. But there are some days that are a little more of an adventure than I would like. Today was kind of like that. It started off well as I met Mary and Clair for a trip into McMinnville to find a desk for my office. We hopped into their car and began hitting garage sales on the way. As we pulled into one farm near McMinnville their car died. We found some nice people who gave us a jump and we decided to head home. We got about 100 yards when the car was dead once again. We called a friend who came and jumped the car and followed us home. He would jump it and we would drive until it died again. It was a long hot drive home.

We had a nice lunch together and then we all loaded into my car and headed out again. We kept hitting garage sales hoping to find what we needed on one country lane we ended up in the ditch and thanks to my 4 wheel drive we were able to extricate ourselves again without a tow. We finally garaged saled ourselves out and headed home. On the way back my consistently malfunctioning window completely gave up and is stuck in the down position. That was a little discouraging as I realized that I would finally be forced to have it repaired. But that is kind of how life is.

I headed home and even got a nap in. I woke just in time to head to the church for prayer. When I got in the car I discovered that I had a crack radiating across my windshield. I slowly ran my fingers across it realizing that I not only would be taking my car to the shop on Monday, I would be contacting the insurance company for windshield replacement.

Some days seem filled with more than their fair share of problems and obstacles. Today's problems will not disappear when I go to sleep tonight. For both my car and my friend's car it will require time and money. Both of which are in fairly short supply right now. But I have a feeling that life is more about working through the problems and obstacles than it is about living without any.

So Monday I will head to the car repair to have my side window fixed, call the insurance company and get my windshield fixed. I will also work on my sermon, look for a desk, fill out paperwork and do the other 50 things that will need to be done that day. I guess when you think about it. it will be a pretty normal day.

Just Connie

Fun in the Sun

A day of fun in the sun. It had been a long time since I had done that and a visit by a college friend was the perfect opportunity to go and play at the beach. We packed up the car and headed west until we hit water. We spent the day poking in the tide pools, climbing the rocks and of course looking for agates.

We came home windblown and sun kissed and happy. It was wonderful to be together and wonderful to spend such a carefree day. It was a reminder of how important it is to break away and enjoy good friends. I need more days like this ... they are good for the soul.

Just Connie

Building a Team

One of the jobs of a pastor is to build disparate groups of people into a cohesive whole. Tonight I met with my church board for the first time. We had some very important issue to wade through. In all of my years as a pastor I have never had such hard issues facing a brand new board.

There was so much that I wanted to do in this board meeting. I wanted to share some vision, do some training and address some of the issues. I also want them to begin to get a feel for who I am and what my leadership style is. I wanted ... well I wanted everything of course.

The honest truth is that I was nervous going into this meeting. there were such big issues facing us and the potential was there for it all to blow up in my face. But the meeting went very well. People were everything that I would hope for them to be. They were kind and considerate and did not jump into quick decisions.

I can see the beginnings of a real group here. A group that will trust each other and will do wonderful things together. In fact I am excited for our next meeting together. You know, I think this will be a a group that will grow into a team. And a team can do so much more than just be a group.

Just Connie

Big Enough

Some days just seem to be designed to dishearten and discourage you. They seem filled with complaints, problems and more work than it is possible to get done. To really top off a difficult day I knew that I had to go home and mow the lawn. I hate mowing the lawn. It is always that glaring reminder for me that I am ALONE and responsible for everything.

But regardless of this painful and difficult day I am confident that God is big enough for this. For every hurtful comment, for every difficult person, for every problem and obstacle I faced today God is big enough. In fact He is even big enough for my lawn mowing issues. He is also big enough for my aloneness,

So tonight I am resting in the reality that God is big enough. I am letting the events of the day slowly trickle away as I prepare for a great night's sleep. It makes me wonder why I carried this all day?

Just Connie

Intercessors

The Willamina Church has a long history of outstanding prayer groups. I have become part of the group that they call the c This group's purpose is to lift people, problems and the church to God. It is a confidential group. The issues we pray about we do not discuss outside of the group. It is a group that prays and prays and prays.

I just got home from Intercessors and I am so blessed. Blessed by the sheer joy of praying with a group of people that I trust absolutely. Blessed by the caring and compassion shown by this group. Blessed by what God is teaching us. Blessed at what this group means to me personally and means to my personal growth and well being.

It is good to be blessed ...

Just Connie

Monday, Monday

Mondays are busy days for me because Mondays are sermon days. It is the day that I set aside to prepare the sermon for the following Sunday services. Some Mondays that plan works very well. Other Mondays ... not quite so well. Today was one of the not quite so well days.

To begin with my office is still not put together enough to be very usable. I can sit at the desk and work, but I do not have an internet connection and none of my work materials have been brought in yet because there is no where to put them yet. So as I tried to study today I kept finding myself wanting items that were not there yet. The second thing was the constant stream of people who needed me today. Some Mondays are just like that. I have learned over the years to not fight it.

So instead of sermon preparation and study, today I listened and laughed and advised ... I was a pastor. You know it was a very good day. Tomorrow is yet another day and sermon preparation can happen on a Tuesday as well. Who knows perhaps Tuesday will become my new sermon day?

Just Connie

Planning & Planting

It is Sunday and time for my sermon. Here is the outline from this morning.

Psalm 1 - Planning & Planting
1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners , or sit in the seat of mockers.  2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.


Intro: The thing that I know about planting is that it takes planning. Planning is that thing we all think should be done but few of us enjoy the actual doing of it. It is integral to our effectiveness. Corporately there are things we can do to prepare for the job ahead.

1. The right season

2. The right conditions (weather & temp)

3. The right nourishment (food & water)

4. Knowledge of what to do, a plan of action

5. Willing People to Plant

6. Willing people to harvest.

Conclusion: For the LORD watches over the righteous. It is time for the righteous to develop a plan. Because we should be that tree planted by the stream, whose leaf does not wither and whatever we do prospers. To corporately be the church God wants us to be we have to be the individuals God wants us to be.

1.  Prayer,

2.  Bible Study

3.  Commitment

4. Team work

Saturday Prayer Group

We have a small group of us who meet every Saturday night in an empty and quiet church. We walk through and room by room and pew by pew we pray through the entire church. Then we meet as a group and I share any concerns for service the next day and we pray together,

There is no preaching, we do not have a formal format, we just come and pray. This is a powerful time. It never fails to be a balm to my heart. It quiets and centers me in preparation for Sunday. I think it is one of the most important things we do all week.

So tonight my heart is quiet and I look forward to what God has in store for tomorrow.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18


Just Connie

Truth

There are some things in a pastor’s life that are not much fun. In fact some of it is pretty difficult and painful. Without the clear sense of call there is nothing that would make you plow through it.

Today was like that for me. I was digging into things and getting information that did not please me … in fact it was horrifying, even discouraging. But the reality was that I really needed this information. As horrifying as it was, there could be no move towards a solution without uncovering the truth.

As I gauged my response today it made me wonder how often in my life I have shied back from a truth because it was painful or unlovely. Probably more often than I would like to admit.

I want to embrace the truth in all of its forms, even when it is unlovely, painful or discouraging. Because it is that truth that will set me free. And that is free indeed.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

Just Connie

Sizzling

Well summer is finally here. After weeks of rain and 40-60 degree temperatures, the sun finally showed up. The thermometer was jumping triple digits today. It felt so hot today that it felt like heavy weights pressing down on me whenever I stepped outside. 

They are saying that this hot spell will be with us for a while. Sigh .... I am a native Oregonian. I like nice temperate weather. When it gets out of the 70's I melt. So during this heat wave I will look for cool spots to relax in. I will also take the time to enjoy the sunshine and the gorgeous countryside.

Summer days ..... I think I will enjoy this.

Just Connie

Those Moments

I was  finishing up the last painting touch up in my office at the church. The end was insight, I was balanced on a bar stool on the top step while I tried to paint above the doorway when it happened. I tried to step down and lost my balance. All of those years of gymnastics held me in good stead as I twisted and landed on my feet. However, the bucket of paint did not do quite so well.

I stood there and gazed with horror at the pools of paint seeping into the carpet and running down the carpeted stairs. I picked up the paint paraphernalia and sprinted for the kitchen and filled pitchers with water and sprinted back and began pouring water on the paint and trying to keep it from setting into the carpet too deeply. Then I jumped in the car and drove home and grabbed my carpet shampooer and raced back to the church. There I began the long process of pouring gallons of water on the paint and then extracting it with the shampooer.

At the end of an hour I stood there and weakly leaned on the shampooer as I looked at the carpet. There was no sign of paint. I could have cried with relief and exhaustion. I slowly packed everything up and decided that I had probably painted enough.

Those moments .... those moments that all of us have. You know the moments when things turn suddenly and instantly bad. These are the moments that can unhinge us, ruin a day  or cause us to rise to the challenge. I think today I ended up somewhere in the middle. I have to say that I felt pretty unhinged. I am blessed that it seems to have turned out much better than I deserved. Tomorrow is another day, I guess I will try harder.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" 2 Corinthians 4:17.


Just Connie

4th of July

4th of July in Willamina is wonderful. The whole town celebrates. My day began early as I met the work force at the church and we began to set up our church booth and the tents to sell Elephant Ears. As they set up I prepared for our morning worship service and began to greet the people who were coming in for church. We had lots of visitors and everyone was in an upbeat mood. We had a great service and people left with smiles and anticipation for the days events. By the time church was over we had Elephant Ears cooking and hungry people coming to eat.

As the afternoon went on, I dressed up Charlie my sheep dog in her 4th of July outfit and took her down to the church to get ready for the parade. We got the float decorated and headed to the staging area. It was incredible to see all the entries. high school cheerleaders, square dancers, log trucks, racing teams, horses and so much more. It was  even more fun when the church float took 1st place. The parade itself was a hoot. Everyone loved Charlie and she enjoyed every minute of the attention she was getting.

After walking the parade route, I walked back to the church and we began the long process of taking everything down and putting it away. By 9:00 I was heading to my friends to watch the fireworks from their place. All of the children and grandchildren were there and it was so wonderful to be in the midst of a family. Watching the children with their fireworks was almost as much fun as the firework show itself.

By 11:00 I was heading home, tired but happy and so grateful. Grateful for the community I live in, grateful for the wonderful church God has brought me to. Grateful and happy and that is a good way to be.

Hopping Mad

I am hopping mad. In fact I am downright angry. I can feel it welling up within in me making me want to stomp my foot and shout! I want it fixed and I want to set this wrong doer straight. I think of a list of reasons why it is wrong! Wrong! Wrong! and I want to spell it out in no uncertain terms.

Sigh ... but I do not do any of those things Instead I take a deep breath and I smile and try to deflect the poor behavior with a gentle and reasonable answer. But inside of me I can feel the turmoil boiling up, a turmoil that does not dissipate after I walk away.

I am trying to remind myself that anger in itself is not wrong. My emotions are to warn and inform me. Right now they are screaming at me to beware of this scofflaw. Instead of returning bad behavior with bad behavior I am going to strive to let this make me wary and careful. At least that is what I am hoping. ...

So ....more hoping and less hopping......

Office Work

My office is a mess. The furniture is all pushed into the middle of this very small room with plastic draped over it. I have paint pans and brushes  strewn across the room. To further accent the decor are the ladders and drop cloths. Most of the painting is done. I need to clean up the top border but I think it is getting close to being done.

I wanted it done today, but I lost steam about 2:00 and decided to let the paint dry and head home. Sp I guess tomorrow to Monday I will try again. It will get done. I am frustrated because I need to bring supplies in and I can;t until the office is usable. I also need to make a WalMart run to get the bookcases I will need. So there is still a lot stretching ahead of me.

I think I need to split the tasks into small parts  since I am feeling a bit overwhelmed tonight. Get the painting done ..." get er done." So I will hit it tomorrow and "get 'er done".

Just Connie

Pastor's Cabinet

I met tonight for the first time officially with the Pastor's cabinet. This very important group serves as a sounding board, dream team and prayer support to the Pastor. You know no matter how many times I have done this, when you met in an official capacity with a board for the first time I always get a bit nervous. Tonight I was a bit nervous. I so wanted tonight to help move us ahead. I wanted to offer hope and insight and to really allow them to get to know me in a new way. We also had some fairly serious things to address. So I knew there was potential there for things to be difficult.

But tonight went very well. There was honesty, support, love and wisdom all given tonight. It was truly a blessing to be with them. It gives me an even greater confidence to face the next months with them. I have a feeling it will be a time of change and challenge for us as we seek God's will for the Willamina Church. I think there is good stuff ahead. You know that is something I am so ready for!

Just Connie