Halloween 2011

My feet hurt, my head hurts and I am achy tired .... no way past  tired. I am beat ... exhausted. But it has been a great night.

Tonight was Halloween. We have a community event called Trunk or Treat. Area businesses set up around the park and pass out candy. I started my evening there at the park. It was clear and cold and I was bundled up and still cold, cold, cold. We passed out candy to over 500 children in the first hour. We also passed out flyers to let everyone know about the free carnival at the church. But the time we had closed down at the park and headed to the church, the church was wall to wall people.

So for the next couple of hours I ran and laughed and greeted people. I played games and cleaned up messes. Now the event is over. It was a rousing success. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. The mess is mostly cleaned up and the day is finished.

Now I just need to find the aspirin ....

Just Connie

Difficult Things

There are things that I find as a pastor are difficult to do. This past week has been a privilege and an honor but also ... so very hard. We had a death in community as I prepared for it I found that it brought my sister's death back to me in very real ways.

I remember all too clearly those first terrible days after my sister died. The mind numbing grief and the disbelief that this terrible thing had really happened. I remember waiting, waiting ... waiting for it to be time to go to her funeral. It seemed that the minutes crawled by. I can remember thinking that nothing should hurt that bad that did not kill you. Though the years has softened the pain, it does not go away.

I find that I still miss her. I miss her sense of humor and her ability to just be who she was. I remember her fierce love of her family and her desire for us to know that she loved us. Remembering her brings me joy, but there is still pain at the loss. There is a hole in our family that nothing else will ever fill.

So this past week as I ministered to another family who is facing the same dreadful loss, I remembered and I grieved for them and all they will face in the days ahead. And yet in the ashes of grief I know that God will plant seeds of hope for a new tomorrow.

And yet ..... it hurts.

Just Connie

Some Days

Some days make you feel like you do something worthwhile as a pastor. Today was one of those days for me. I met with a family about there upcoming memorial service. We laughed and cried and worked to plan the best possible service. As they left I fielded a string of problems and people while polishing up the newsletter. Then I spent about an hour with a counseling client I was not expecting. That was a challenging and wonderful time together. I felt like I actually helped and that was a very good feeling.

I had a quick lunch while I worked on the grant that needed to go out in today's mail. As I finished that up, I printed the final copy of the memorial service and laid out the things for Sunday, It was with a feeling of satisfaction that I packed everything up and headed to the old High School to put in a couple of hours working on the roof.

Later as I drove home tired but satisfied, it dawned on me that much of what I do is not very measurable. That is not a bad thing, it just means that sometimes it is hard to tell that you are making a difference. Today was a reminder that sometimes you can tell ..... you are actually making a positive difference.

That is a feeling .... I could get used to.

Just Connie

Mystery

I struggled into the church with my laptop, briefcase, backpack, purse and stack of materials from my Chamber of Commerce meeting. I stood at my office door trying to get my key in the lock without putting anything down. As the door swung open I looked with disbelief at the door frame. Letting my bags and books drop to the floor I ran my hand over the broken and splintered wood. As I tried to make sense of what I was seeing, someone looked over my shoulder and said, "Hey someone tried to break into your office".


And that was the moment that my day grew a life of its own. Suddenly there were searches that had to be done, facility people to call and police reports to file. Through it all I kept trying to make sense of what had happened. Someone had gained access to the church and sometime between 3:00 yesterday and 9:00 this morning kicked in my office door. They took nothing, caused no other damage. Even the deputy was at a loss to explain what had happened.

Though he did ask me about former employees .... once I stopped giggling I did tell him I did not think the former pastor or the 80 year old former secretary had kicked my door in.

I don't know perhaps I should check on what the former pastor was doing last night .... Nah.....I really would think he would have used his key instead.

Just Connie

The Group

I met with one of my community groups tonight. We had dinner and then went over the progress of our project. Everything is moving ahead and our leaders are very pleased with us.  It was good to know that we were doing a good job and some very positive things have been happening. But the very best thing thing that happened was that people lingered after the meeting and we just sat and talked ... and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I really like these people. We all come from such different walks of life and backgrounds, yet I have come to love our differences and the unique nature of every one of them. I realized as I was driving home that I was still smiling. That is a pretty good feeling.

I realized as I thought about it that tonight is not a rare event for most of my meetings. There is plenty of laughter and love in all of my groups.  I am very grateful for what these groups and these people add into my life. I think things would be pretty empty and lonely without them.

This is a good reminder that I am blessed in such wonderful and unexpected ways.

Just Connie

Mom's Visit Day 4

Here it is .... Just like this sunset, Mom's visit is already  drawing to a close. There just has not been enough time. We had church this morning and then went to lunch with old friends of ours. It was so good to spend time with them. We laughed and teased and laughed some more. They always bless me.

We have relaxed this afternoon and spent it with our computers on our lap and movies on TV. Totally relaxing and just enjoyable. There is a real comfort in having her here. I do not have to entertain her or worry about anything. I can just sit back and enjoy my very rare time with her.

I find that I am not looking forward to her leaving tomorrow. I would like this visit to continue. I guess when you think about it, that is a good thing. But I sure wish that I had more time with her. I rather have a feeling that you never get to old to want your mommy.

At least I hope I don't.

Just Connie

Mom's Visit Day 3

Today started off busy. I had to be at the church early to preach at the regional quiz meet. I enjoyed my time with the kids. I am so thankful for people who minister faithfully to our youth and share the joy of God's Word in such a meaningful way.

I headed home afterwards and spent a couple of hours with mom watching old movies and playing games. Then we headed down to the Willamina Museum and I showed mom the joys of a small town museum and history. It is such a wonderful museum and I love spending time there.

We have spent the rest of the day quietly. Just relaxing and enjoying our time together. No great plans ... just lots of conversation and lots of laughter. Pretty soon I will head to bed and get ready for the normal Sunday frenzy.

I have to say that I wish I had more time with my mother. I love being with her. I love her wit and her humor and her unfailing love and support. How could I not love that?

Just Connie

Mom's Visit Day 2

Day two of my mother's stay is already drawing to a close. We have watched movies, gone shopping, talked and talked and of course laughed and laughed. It has been so good to have her here ... it just does not happen often enough.

Over the next few days I will take the opportunity to relax with my mother and enjoy this very rare time with her. And of course take the opportunity to tease and torment her .... I can never get enough of that.

yes ..... this will be very fun .....

Just Connie

House Guest Like Me

I have a house guest. It is a greatly anticipated guest. My mother has come to spend a few days with me. I do not often get the chance to spend time with her so this is a rare treat. We spent the afternoon balancing her checkbook, watching an old musical and just enjoying being together.

My mother has my quirky humor. She likes to tell people that Grandma's humor skipped a generation but that is just not true, we are a lot alike. So I think I will drag a game out, light a fire and spend some time teasing the woman who gave me life. I rther think I am a lot like her.

It is good to have someone to blame me on ....

Just Connie

An Unlikely Friend

Kevin was an unlikely friend. He was the maintenance man at the Mission where I worked. But over the years I came to love him. He had a mild form of cerebral palsy and had had a stroke a couple of years before I met him. But neither of those things dimmed his cheerfulness and his unexpected wit and humor.

As we got to know each other, I also learned of his unfailing loyalty for those he loved. He tenderly watched out for me, teased me unmercifully and protected me. He encouraged me, worried about me and always helped me. He was a man of character and he added incredible dimensions to my life.

It was six years ago tonight that I pulled into my driveway to find two friends waiting for me. The look on their faces told me that something horrible had happened. Gently they let me know that my friend, my Kevin had a fatal heart attack.

His death impacted me, caused a deep grief that still brings tears to my eyes. But it was his life not his death that changed my life. Everything that he was brought new understanding and new experiences to me. I am very grateful for the years that I knew him.

So tonight I acknowledge an unlikely friend and extraordinary man, Kevin Stephenson ... I miss you Kev.

Just Connie

Roof Work - Day 5

I was back on the roof of the high school today. I spread tar, hauled roofing, screwed boards down and my very favorite ..... hung over the edge to hold boards for nailing. It made me laugh because it was just too  ... well I guess surreal. As I was laying on my stomach hanging over the edge with two of the guys it made me wonder if we looked like little ducklings all in a row.

So now at the end of a long day, I find that I am tired, very sore and sooooo ready to call it a night. It has been a long time since I have done so much heavy work, for so many days in a row. I think this is probably pretty good for me. What doesn't kill me, will make me stronger..... right? Or does it just make me wish it had killed me?

Just Connie

Roof Work - Day 4

I groaned as I struggled out of the car. My aching muscles complained every step  as I headed into the house. Day 4 of the roof project was finished.  For 4 days I have scraped, pounded, hauled, shoveled, and crawled around on my hands and knees. I have pried nails out while balancing two stories above ground. All of it has been ..... wonderful, exhausting and challenging.

This project has the potential to be something very exciting for our community. However it will take all us working together to make it happen. There is a lot of hard work ahead. Not just the physical work of restoration, but the hard work of team work and joint goals and dreams.

I think we can do it. But tonight what I think is .... I need a long hot bath.

Just Connie

Roof Work - Day 3

Today, I woke up tired .... and sore. but the more I moved around the better I felt. So I packed up and headed back to the roofing project. I spent the morning ripping out old nails, hauling debris and running up and down the ladder. And then .... it started to rain.

However the work was there and we carried on. As the day went on I found myself moving slower and slower. As I slowly moved down the roofline pulling old nails out of the eaves I noticed that it was taking longer and longer to get up and down from my knees.

When we finally called it quits for the day, I was down right glad to be heading home. This project is wonderful and I love working with people who have a heart to serve. But my body does not always hold up as well as I would like it to. In fact I think someone traded my body in for a much older model.

I wonder if I can prosecute?

Just Connie

Roof Work Day 2

I spent the day on the roof again today. I started the day sore and tired. I ended the day sore, tired and wet. About 1:00 it began raining and rained on and off all afternoon. The rain made the job which was strenuous and tiring, downright uncomfortable.

There is something about having your leather gloves wet, your feet wet, and wet everywhere else that is just kind of miserable. I cam home about 5:00 to huddle in front of the fire and try to warm up. Of course it was not the easy since I had a string of visitors, phone calls and interruptions that pulled me away from the fire.

But things have finally quieted down. Soon I will head to bed, get a good nights sleep and head back to the roof in the morning. With any luck it will not rain tomorrow.

Hopefully ......

Just Connie

Roof Work

I spent the day on the roof of the old Willamina High School. I have to say that the view is wonderful from there. But I was not there to enjoy the view. I was there as part of a volunteer work crew to replace the leaky roof.

The roof of the high school is an amazing hodge-podge of buildings of different heights, ages and problems. Some parts of the roof feels squishy when you walk on it. They tell me that is not a good thing. So we spent the day peeling old roofing off, the prying the flashings and rotten wood off  as we came across it.

By late afternoon I was tired and my muscles were hurting. By five o clock my wrists and hands were protesting. It was heartening to find out that my fellow workers were also sore and tired. But we had gotten a lot done and tomorrow morning we will be at it once again.

All of this work, is reclaiming our former high school for a community center. That is more than worth a few sore muscles. I am excited for the possibilities this will bring to our commuity and our local agencies.

There are good things ahead.

Just Connie

Women Clergy Group

Tonight I met with a group of women clergy. We were supposed to share our hearts in open and honest evaluation. We were asked this question "What unhealed hurt do you have in regards to your ministry?" As I prayed about that in my quiet time I realized that I did not have any unhealed hurts. I felt almost guilty that I had nothing of substance to share.

I also realized as I thought about it that my experience with the Free Methodists has been very positive. I feel like my gifts have been recognized and I have been offered a place of ministry commensurate with my gifts and skills. I have been given conference wide responsibility and I feel that I am not only tolerated but liked and appreciated by most of my fellow Free Methodist pastors.

I wish that my experience had been the case for all of my fellow women clergy. Many of them have struggled for acceptance and for  a place for meaningful ministry. My heart grieves for their hurts and yet I realize that their sacrifice paved the way for my very positive experience.

I think tonight was a positive step towards healing. I hope that we can keep the conversation going without acrimony and blame. I have a feeling that love will light the path before us if we are brave enough to take it.

Just Connie

A Different Life

15 years ago I lived a different life. I had a husband and family. I was happy in ministry and in my position in the world. Part of that life was a wonderful friendship with another family. We all meshed so well. I loved their children like my own and their extended family became part of my own. When my life blew apart it separated me from these friends that I loved.

Over the years that loss was a heavy grief for me. About a year ago I was able to make contact with these heart friends and then amazingly several months ago I was able to spend some time with them. It was an incredible blessing and I was thankful for the chance to rebuild.

Today I headed to OHSU because one of these friends, Cliff was having open heart surgery. it was hard for me to decide to go. I did not want to intrude, I just wanted to let them know I loved them.  I did not tell them I was coming, I just showed up, All of the extended family that I knew so well, so long ago were there. As I hugged and kissed them it felt like the years peeled back. We talked and laughed and laughed some more.

I drove home tonight with a heart full of love and gratefulness. Something that was so important to me, something that I had long grieved over was restored today. If I had stayed safely home I would not have had this wonderful time. And of course the best blessing was that Cliff came through the surgery very well.

Yes .....Sometimes the things that are the hardest to do are the most worthwhile.

Just Connie

The Gift of Submission; Wives

Today's sermon:

1 Peter 3:1-6


1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

The call to submit is primary in the life of any Christian. To submit to God and to submit each other. Here, submission is looked at within the context of a marriage relationship.

Submission Is not:

• Being a Doormat
• Being a Yes person
• Unthinking slavery
• An excuse for abuse

Submission Is:

• Witness of the reality of God
• Proof of the validity of the scriptures
• Inward beauty
• Purity
• Reverence
• Gentlenes
• Quiet spirit

Submission is a gift a wife chooses to give. This gift honors her husband and it glorifies God. Submission is holiness lived out every day and it builds strong marriages.

Thought For Today

Submission is me choosing you … and that is a God thing

Aldersgate Work Day

For the second day in a row I worked with the Men's Ministry group. Today we were working at Aldersgate which is our denomination retreat and camp. My job was splitting wood. Specifically to load the log splitter. I  have some observations after spending the day hauling and splitting logs.

Observation #1
I am waaaaaay out of shape. I was tired after the first 30 minutes. After 6 hours I was the walking dead.

Observation #2
Logs get heavier in the afternoon. I think there is a mathematical scientific fact to prove that the same logs you were tossing around at 10:00 in the morning are twice as heavy at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Observation #3
Hard work, with friends is a lot of fun.

The bottom line is that going and helping at Aldersgate is always a blessing. It is good to be together, good to break out of the routine and good to work hard.

So today I worked hard and  .... it was good.

Just Connie

Insulating Thoughts

I worked with the Men's Ministry group today. That is not unusual I am usually in the midst of any project they have going. Today's project was a little different .... it was for me! The guys decided last year that they were going to insulate my house and today was the day.

I got up at 6:00 and headed into Mac to pick up the materials and the blower. We loaded everything into two pickups and then headed back home to get  started. I have never blown in insulation before. It comes in big bales and goes into a machine that grinds it up and then is blown into the areas needing insulation. That sounds very easy.

The reality turned out to be a little different than that. First of all, the first 10 bales are fairly light. The next 40 get progressively heavier. (I think it is a little known scientific fact) Secondly, when you break up the bales and mix them into the hopper, it creates a cloud of fluff. That "fluff" is a direct attack of Satan on an unsuspecting world. It gets everywhere! Every hair is perfectly frosted and nose and eyes are caked within minutes. I spent almost as much time laughing at my frosted fellow workers as I did in coughing and hacking.

But finally, the last bale went in and we were done. So now my house is insulated and I have some cleanup to do beginning with me and then the house.

I guess I am lucky there were no cameras today.

Just Connie

Some Days Are like This

A day of meetings and running around. Some days are just like this and I try to take them in stride. It started with a church planting committee meeting. It was ... sigh .... often uncomfortable but committee meetings are often like that. Different personalities and sometime differing agendas as well, but the bottom line is that we are all working towards the same purpose and that got us through., so I

From there I need to do a supply run for the church, and then it was back to the church to unload supplies and put some time in at the office. Then I needed to go and pick up dog food for a needy family. Sigh  .... cases of paper ... 50 pound sacks of food ... some days are just like that.

Tonight I had pastor's cabinet. A wonderful group of people who are positive and uplifting and bring a smile to my face. We had a great meeting and I left feeling tired but blessed.

Yep .... some days are just like this.

Just Connie

The Seeds of Change

I spent time with two old friends today. 2 years ago they were an integral part of my life. One of them was my assistant at the Mission. We worked together every day, laughed, cried and shared our lives. The other was the wife of my associate pastor. We worshipped, taught and shepherded the flock together. Now our lives are spread across the country from each other.


As I drove home I reflected on how life changes and moves in directions that we never could have foreseen. Three years ago I was working at the Mission and could not imagine being anywhere else.  I was also pastoring a church in Gladstone and thrilled to be back in the pastorate. I was happy and content with my life.

And yet changes came, some changes I welcomed, but other changes brought me pain and confusion. But in those changes were the seeds of something amazing. A brand new chapter was being written. Perhaps not the one I was expecting, but something new and wonderful.

In those seeds of change are all the potential for the future. It makes me wonder why I so often fight against it.

Just Connie

Thoughts on Friends

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It is another rainy stormy evening in Willamina. I had a great dinner with friends and then slowly drove home through the downpour. As I drove I reflected on how good it is to be with people who bless you. the evening had been full of laughter and sharing and looking ahead. I left feeling good.

Friends are a blessing. They bring us out of ourselves and fill our lives with things we do not have by ourselves. I am very grateful for parishioners and friends who take the time to welcome me into their homes and their lives.

In all it is a reminder that I am blessed. Now if I can just be a blessing in return.

Just Connie
















































































































































































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Dark and Stormy

It is a dark and stormy night. The rain is pelting against the windows and I am curled up in front of the fire enjoying the warmth. Suddenly Fall is here, not so much by the date of the calendar but by the nip in the air and the leaves swirling in the wind and rain.

Hope Puppy is curled up with her head on my lap and there is an old movie playing. I guess that this is about as good as a quiet evening can get. And yet ..... I have to admit that tonight it feels a bit flat. There is a lingering sense of loneliness as I look around this peaceful scene.

This is probably a perfect evening to head to bed with a good book. Yes ... I am thinking that sounds like a good plan. It is hard to feel lonely curled in my nice soft bed with Hope Puppy curled up next to me while lost in the midst of a good story line.

I am thinking sci-fi is the perfect antidote for what ails me.

Just Connie

Marketable Skills

It is Sunday and today's text is found in1 Peter 2:18-25.

18 Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.



22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.



Here we are given the attitudes and actions that should be the core of our work skills.  We are told in this passage to:

1.   Submit to our Employers/Leaders


2.   Suffer for Christ’s sake


3.   Let insults roll off


4.   Make no threats


5.   No retaliation

6.   Trust to God who is just.


Christ is our model for life. What kind of employee we are is not determined by how good a boss we have. It is determined by how committed I am to live a Christ like life.

Thought For Today

Submission is the gateway to true service.