The Mess

Always in a hurry, always in a hurry ..... that seems to have been my theme song for the last few weeks. Besides the normal frenetic-ness of a pastors day I have been cleaning and reorganizing at home. The house right now is a DISASTER!

Over the past three years my spare room had become the repository for things I did not want to deal with. Boxes of my sister's belongings, passed on to me after she died, my grandmother's things also passed on to me after she died. There are things from my dear friend Marilyn who passed away three years ago and of course there is Gerrald's things (my former spouse). All of it stuffed away because it was just too painful to sort through. Now I have desperate need of the room and all of that stuff must be sorted and organized.

Right now the living room is full boxes and piles that I am sorting, the family room is full of tools and equipment for the changes that are underway in the spare room, the dining room is full of piles of my sons clothes. I would love to say that the clutter and mess does not distress me, but the truth is I HATE it! It creates a tension and a dissonance that I do not like at all.

I am working long days and then going home at night and forcing myself to work on the piles of mess. I know that if I will stay with it, the project will get done, but right now it is in the overwhelming stage and frankly ..... I do not have anywhere to put this stuff! It is the reality of living in a small farm cottage. I have always worked to only keep what actually fits in the house. But I am finding it very hard to do that with this.

I keep telling myself, just sort through one pile or one box...... but right now the project is just soooooo big. So I will go home tonight put a smile on my face and tackle one pile.

I can do this .... I hope.....

Just Connie