I am determined .... about several things ... but a primary goal for me right is to continue to build my strength and stamina. I have always been an active athlete. I have walked, hiked, played ball, run, swam ... just about anything and everything over the years. I love life and I love being active.
However the past 11 months I have laid on the couch and struggled to breath. Now that I am healed, it is time to gather up the reins of my life and part of that is exercise. So I have been walking and last week I began running. Well ... it is really run, walk, run walk. But it is a start!
I did just over 2 miles today and it really felt good. I was not exhausted when I was done ... and that feels really good. It reminds me that I am healing and that I am getting better every day.
So now I just need to keep motivated and keep trying. ...
Just Connie
Monday, May 27, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Beach Trip
Spent yesterday morning at the beach with my son and grandson. These are photos of our time together.
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| Making Sand Castles |
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| So Much Alike |
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| Playing and getting Sandy |
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Thoughts
Pastors are just everyday people. We have flaws and weaknesses and heartbreaks as we live life for Christ. Today I want to be somewhere that I cannot and frankly that hurts.
This morning my father is having a procedure to try to regulate his heart beat which has been racing for a couple of weeks. So about 9:30 they are going to give his heart an electric shock to try to get it in normal rhythm again. the problem with that is that I am not there!
I know that in the scope of heart treatments this is a fairly minor treatment. But everything in me wants to be there. I was unable to get my calendar cleared enough to be there by 8:30 this morning. I not only wanted to be there for my dad, but I want to be with my mother who shoulders an incredible burden with grace and strength every day. I hate the thought of her sitting there by herself.
So instead I am here at the office, praying hard and wishing I was somewhere else....
and it hurts .....
Just Connie
This morning my father is having a procedure to try to regulate his heart beat which has been racing for a couple of weeks. So about 9:30 they are going to give his heart an electric shock to try to get it in normal rhythm again. the problem with that is that I am not there!
I know that in the scope of heart treatments this is a fairly minor treatment. But everything in me wants to be there. I was unable to get my calendar cleared enough to be there by 8:30 this morning. I not only wanted to be there for my dad, but I want to be with my mother who shoulders an incredible burden with grace and strength every day. I hate the thought of her sitting there by herself.
So instead I am here at the office, praying hard and wishing I was somewhere else....
and it hurts .....
Just Connie
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Out of the Norm
Sometimes as a pastor I get to do some really fun things. This week I got called on to do one of those really fun things. I went down to the Fire Hall to help with the Lieutenant interviews. I was part of a panel with three Fire Chiefs from neighboring districts. My part was to play the crazy mean person trying to burn things like tires and household garbage. When I finished with the first candidate the other chiefs looked at me with their mouth open and said, "Wow! I think you scare me!"
It was also fun to see the reactions of our Willamina candidates who know me. They were in absolute shock. One of the candidates told me afterwards that he had trouble shifting gears because he just knew I was much too nice to be that mean. I told him that I just have him fooled about my secret nature. He said that anytime he gets a burning complaint he is just going to come and check my back yard first.
I guess during the interviews the candidates were actually hearing the yelling going on in the board room and could not imagine what horrible things were going on. It made me laugh to think of them standing out there trying to figure it all out.
It was a chance to break out of my normal role and routine and just have some fun. It also helps to develop some deeper ties with the crew which I always appreciate the chance to do. I mean any chance that I can let my inner crazy person out ..... now that is a good day.
Just Connie
.
It was also fun to see the reactions of our Willamina candidates who know me. They were in absolute shock. One of the candidates told me afterwards that he had trouble shifting gears because he just knew I was much too nice to be that mean. I told him that I just have him fooled about my secret nature. He said that anytime he gets a burning complaint he is just going to come and check my back yard first.
I guess during the interviews the candidates were actually hearing the yelling going on in the board room and could not imagine what horrible things were going on. It made me laugh to think of them standing out there trying to figure it all out.
It was a chance to break out of my normal role and routine and just have some fun. It also helps to develop some deeper ties with the crew which I always appreciate the chance to do. I mean any chance that I can let my inner crazy person out ..... now that is a good day.
Just Connie
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Expectations
Spent some time at the Fire Department today just wandering around and chatting with people. It is one of the ways to help me know how morale is doing and if we have any potential problems developing at the station.
I usually come away from these trips to the station buoyed by what I have seen and experienced. This morning was like that. There is a positive outlook that is exciting to see and a confidence in their leaders that speaks of great things to come.
I found myself walking away from the station with a smile on my face. Not only that but I am looking forward to the next time that I go down and spend some time with our firefighters and EMTs. It tells me that I am beginning to expect good things and that is a pretty good feeling.
As I have thought about that, it has reminded me that our expectations often shape our experiences. I often get out of something exactly what I am expecting, whether that is people, events or workplaces. If I am expecting good things, good things will often follow and conversely when I expect problems and challenges I often get them. Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I think I am going to try to live life with greater expectations. For myself, for people for the things my life connects with. I wonder what would be different for me if I can do this ....?
I think it would be fun to find out ....
Just Connie
I usually come away from these trips to the station buoyed by what I have seen and experienced. This morning was like that. There is a positive outlook that is exciting to see and a confidence in their leaders that speaks of great things to come.
I found myself walking away from the station with a smile on my face. Not only that but I am looking forward to the next time that I go down and spend some time with our firefighters and EMTs. It tells me that I am beginning to expect good things and that is a pretty good feeling.
As I have thought about that, it has reminded me that our expectations often shape our experiences. I often get out of something exactly what I am expecting, whether that is people, events or workplaces. If I am expecting good things, good things will often follow and conversely when I expect problems and challenges I often get them. Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy.
I think I am going to try to live life with greater expectations. For myself, for people for the things my life connects with. I wonder what would be different for me if I can do this ....?
I think it would be fun to find out ....
Just Connie
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Garden Time
One of the wonderful things that happened while I was out on medical leave is that the local Kiwanis group started a new project and included me. Their project is to build raised beds around town and get people growing their own veggies whenever possible. I was ecstatic until I heard it was for the elderly and disabled and then I smacked the man who came to put to the bed in.
However, regardless of the affront to my dignity, the bed is in. Today they put the last of the compost in and I can start plant things in the next couple of months. I am very excited. I have not done any gardening since I lived in Gladstone 15 years ago and that was primarily herbs and tomatoes. I am planning on growing broccoli, carrots, cabbage, green onions, peppers, lots and lots of good stuff.
I will be spending some time with graph paper to determine just how I am going to plant everything. I am also going to add a couple of Pumpkin plants (outside of the raised bed). And the tomatoes will be out of the raised bed as well.
My biggest concern is two fold, first will I be able to keep the deer out of it? And secondly will I keep it watered like I will need to. I am notoriously bad about feast or famine with all of my plants. The deep problem I think I have mostly worked out, between the dogs and the garlic I think I will be able to drive them off. But the watering issue is purely a "me" issue. Hopefully I will not get sick like I did last year and I will be able to find people willing to water the garden when I am gone.
I think it is time to go and put on my overalls and get ready for the harvest .....
Just Connie
However, regardless of the affront to my dignity, the bed is in. Today they put the last of the compost in and I can start plant things in the next couple of months. I am very excited. I have not done any gardening since I lived in Gladstone 15 years ago and that was primarily herbs and tomatoes. I am planning on growing broccoli, carrots, cabbage, green onions, peppers, lots and lots of good stuff.
I will be spending some time with graph paper to determine just how I am going to plant everything. I am also going to add a couple of Pumpkin plants (outside of the raised bed). And the tomatoes will be out of the raised bed as well.
My biggest concern is two fold, first will I be able to keep the deer out of it? And secondly will I keep it watered like I will need to. I am notoriously bad about feast or famine with all of my plants. The deep problem I think I have mostly worked out, between the dogs and the garlic I think I will be able to drive them off. But the watering issue is purely a "me" issue. Hopefully I will not get sick like I did last year and I will be able to find people willing to water the garden when I am gone.
I think it is time to go and put on my overalls and get ready for the harvest .....
Just Connie
Saturday, May 11, 2013
I Need a What?
My father has decided that I need a man in my life. Luckily it has not gone so far as trying to set me up with actual dates. So far he is just pointing out to me frequently that I need a man. I always laugh and tell him that I am doing fine. Today we were both at a family wedding, of course he pointed out that I really needed a man. I rolled my eyes at him and said that having a male bunny at the house was enough for me. And that is when he turned to me and said, "I do not want you to grow old alone".
Of course I laughed and told him that I would never be alone because I expected him to outlive me. But I have to admit that he managed to pinpoint one of my personal sorrows and fears. As I have turned that over in my mind I keep reminding myself that I am never really alone and that my life is full and rich just the way it is.
And I will keep recognizing that fact until the temporary fear and loneliness fades away.
I am never alone ....
Just Connie
Of course I laughed and told him that I would never be alone because I expected him to outlive me. But I have to admit that he managed to pinpoint one of my personal sorrows and fears. As I have turned that over in my mind I keep reminding myself that I am never really alone and that my life is full and rich just the way it is.
And I will keep recognizing that fact until the temporary fear and loneliness fades away.
I am never alone ....
Just Connie
Friday, May 10, 2013
Fire!
I took an unexpected ride last night that involved lights and sirens! It began with my monthly Fire Board meeting. This elected position is responsible for the oversight and management of the West Valley Fire Department. I love this volunteer position and it was my first meeting back after several months of being gone. At the close of the meeting I was sitting back and chatting with the Deputy chief and a couple of others when a Fire Call came through. The Deputy chief looked at me and said, "Want to go on a ride?" I looked down at my sandals and capris and pointed out that I was not dressed for it, to which he responded, "So ...don't fight the fire".
And that is how I found myself in the command vehicle heading out to a vehicle fire with the sirens screaming and the lights flashing. When I arrived at the scene he handed me a helmet and jacket so I could walk down on the scene. As I walked onto the scene the bystanders began clapping and calling out to me. It was pretty funny. I waved back at them as I took a look at what was left of the car. The fire had been put out in minutes but the car was only a smoking melted shell. I watched the crew as everyone went about assigned tasks. I was impressed as I watched their calm demeanor and their kind interactions with bystanders. As I walked around the car with the Chief he explained the fire pattern to me and what they were extrapolating had happened.
As I rode back to the station (without the lights and sirens this time) I shared how impressed I was with how well the crew worked together. There was a good feeling among the crew that only comes when a scene is handled well and a job is done well.
It was as I was heading home from the station that I realized that besides a great experience and good memories I had brought something else home with me ... the unmistakable smell of burnt rubber had permeated my hair and clothing.
It almost made me feel like a Fireman ....
Just Connie
And that is how I found myself in the command vehicle heading out to a vehicle fire with the sirens screaming and the lights flashing. When I arrived at the scene he handed me a helmet and jacket so I could walk down on the scene. As I walked onto the scene the bystanders began clapping and calling out to me. It was pretty funny. I waved back at them as I took a look at what was left of the car. The fire had been put out in minutes but the car was only a smoking melted shell. I watched the crew as everyone went about assigned tasks. I was impressed as I watched their calm demeanor and their kind interactions with bystanders. As I walked around the car with the Chief he explained the fire pattern to me and what they were extrapolating had happened.
As I rode back to the station (without the lights and sirens this time) I shared how impressed I was with how well the crew worked together. There was a good feeling among the crew that only comes when a scene is handled well and a job is done well.
It was as I was heading home from the station that I realized that besides a great experience and good memories I had brought something else home with me ... the unmistakable smell of burnt rubber had permeated my hair and clothing.
It almost made me feel like a Fireman ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Harsh Words
Harsh words hurt ... I have always known that, but this week I was reminded that harsh words hurt. As a pastor I am in a unique position in that people feel so safe with me they feel like they can say anything. Or perhaps it is that they know I will not respond with harsh words back to them. Sometimes it is very challenging to find the kind pastoral response when my humanness frankly wants to smack them upside the head.
This week I found myself sitting and listening to someone say some pretty harsh things to me. I have to admit that I used one of my very favorite pastoral ploys. I smiled and pretended I did not understand what was being said to me. I have found that most people do not want to be pinned down to their words, so they are seldom willing to spell it out in very clear terms when you ask for clarification. They would much rather dance around with vague innuendos. I knew what she was trying to say, but I refused to let her issue become my issue. ... at least that was my plan.
We parted on fairly good terms, but I have to admit that in the days since I have struggled with what she said and what her meaning was behind her words. Even though I know that it came out of her own fear and insecurities .... the words still hurt.
I want that hurt to motivate me to do what is right. And that means I need to be praying. Praying that God will bless my "enemy" and that God will give me His heart in this. I do not want anger or bitterness to take root. I want love to reign and for peace to be the outcome.
This week I found myself sitting and listening to someone say some pretty harsh things to me. I have to admit that I used one of my very favorite pastoral ploys. I smiled and pretended I did not understand what was being said to me. I have found that most people do not want to be pinned down to their words, so they are seldom willing to spell it out in very clear terms when you ask for clarification. They would much rather dance around with vague innuendos. I knew what she was trying to say, but I refused to let her issue become my issue. ... at least that was my plan.
We parted on fairly good terms, but I have to admit that in the days since I have struggled with what she said and what her meaning was behind her words. Even though I know that it came out of her own fear and insecurities .... the words still hurt.
I want that hurt to motivate me to do what is right. And that means I need to be praying. Praying that God will bless my "enemy" and that God will give me His heart in this. I do not want anger or bitterness to take root. I want love to reign and for peace to be the outcome.
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18
Just Connie
Monday, May 6, 2013
What I Need
There are some special challenges to being a single woman. One of the challenges is that everyone wants to "fix" you up. Another challenge is that there is an assumption that I am always looking for that special someone. For many women the thought that I am "on the prowl" is always there. Even though I can say with honesty and frequency that I do not date and I am not looking for a relationship, I am still seen as somewhat suspect. .... because how in the world could I not want to be married?
I often sigh as I dodge blind dates and well intentioned friends. I also sigh as I realize that my singleness is making someone uncomfortable. Not because of my actions, but just by the nature of what I am. Today I am sighing ...
I guess the fact that I am sighing is a reminder to pray. Pray about my relationships, pray about my attitude and pray for a kind compassionate heart as I walk the path of singleness. Less of me and more of Christ.
That is always what I need ....
Just Connie
I often sigh as I dodge blind dates and well intentioned friends. I also sigh as I realize that my singleness is making someone uncomfortable. Not because of my actions, but just by the nature of what I am. Today I am sighing ...
I guess the fact that I am sighing is a reminder to pray. Pray about my relationships, pray about my attitude and pray for a kind compassionate heart as I walk the path of singleness. Less of me and more of Christ.
That is always what I need ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Community
I like to be involved in the community. Over the years I have been here, I have been integrated and welcomed in a way that has blessed my heart. It has also given me challenges and fills many hours with service and meetings. Here is a list of some of the things I am doing in the community.
West Valley Fire Board
I am an elected West Valley Fire Board Member. We meet monthly to give oversight to Fire and Emergency services in our area. We have two Fire Stations, a fleet of vehicles and a large staff of Firemen, Paramedics and Interns. In between Board meetings I sign checks and try to stay involved with what is happening at the Stations.
West Valley Fire Department Chaplain
I serve as a Chaplain for the Fire Department. I get called when there is a death with family members present or if Fire Department personnel need support.
Chamber of Commerce
I am Board Secretary for the Chamber of Commerce. We meet every Wednesday morning for laughter and fun. We also get a lot of work done. We are a working board and we always have projects that we are working on. We just finished up the town Gazebo a year ago and we are beginning a playground down at the fishing pond. We also do several fundraisers a year that enables us to help a lot of different groups and non profits in our area.
EID - Economic Improvement District
I am Board Secretary for the EID. This groups strives to improve the economic vitality of our downtown/main street. It is a tax based entity and so there are always a lot of rules and regulations to what we do. But we also have projects going on. We are improving an old rail bus that has drawn a lot of attention over the years. We give out low interest loans for outside improvements to our Main Street businesses. We put together and hang flower baskets along Main Street in the summer/Fall months. Besides those projects we are always working on something.
West Valley Community Campus
I serve as Board Chairman for the Campus. Several years ago a local business man bought the Old Willamina High School and wanted to give it to the community for use as a Community Center. I worked with the owner to set up a non profit board that will renovate the building and use it to strengthen what is happening in the Community. This has been a huge project. The school is 44,000 square feet of classrooms that have been neglected for decades. there are sports fields and out buildings set on 7 acres of land. But the potential for something wonderful to happen here is very exciting to me. We are in the process of applying for our 501-C3. Things slowly keep moving ahead.
Kiwanis
I am also a Board Member for the West Valley Kiwanis Club. This is a club that focuses on children and community service. We do everything from hosting the annual Fishing Derby, to Highway Cleanup (4x a year) to the Annual Duck Race.
SMART - Start Making a Reader Today
I am a volunteer for SMART at Willamina Grade School. That means I head to the school every week to read. I love this time with the children.
Ford Family Foundation Leadership Training
For the last two years I have been part of cohort 2 which has been hard at work in the community. After 6 months of training we were released to accomplish our project which was to place benches around our communities. We placed 6 beautiful artistic benches designed by Stastny Gardens in Sheridan, Grand Ronde and Willamina. They money has all been raised, the benches have all been placed and how we are in the process of getting the group together for our graduation celebration.
FFA - Future Farmers of America
I volunteer with FHA every year and do mock interviews to help them prepare for competition. I also attend various functions with them and support the program in any way that I can fit in.
These are the things that get me out into the community and help ensure that I am not immured behind my desk all day long. These areas of service have broadened me and helped me to connect with people in the community which would never walk through the doors of the church. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve and grateful for the friendships that have grown out of these areas of service.
This should keep me busy for a while ....
Just Connie
West Valley Fire Board
I am an elected West Valley Fire Board Member. We meet monthly to give oversight to Fire and Emergency services in our area. We have two Fire Stations, a fleet of vehicles and a large staff of Firemen, Paramedics and Interns. In between Board meetings I sign checks and try to stay involved with what is happening at the Stations.
West Valley Fire Department Chaplain
I serve as a Chaplain for the Fire Department. I get called when there is a death with family members present or if Fire Department personnel need support.
Chamber of Commerce
I am Board Secretary for the Chamber of Commerce. We meet every Wednesday morning for laughter and fun. We also get a lot of work done. We are a working board and we always have projects that we are working on. We just finished up the town Gazebo a year ago and we are beginning a playground down at the fishing pond. We also do several fundraisers a year that enables us to help a lot of different groups and non profits in our area.
EID - Economic Improvement District
I am Board Secretary for the EID. This groups strives to improve the economic vitality of our downtown/main street. It is a tax based entity and so there are always a lot of rules and regulations to what we do. But we also have projects going on. We are improving an old rail bus that has drawn a lot of attention over the years. We give out low interest loans for outside improvements to our Main Street businesses. We put together and hang flower baskets along Main Street in the summer/Fall months. Besides those projects we are always working on something.
West Valley Community Campus
I serve as Board Chairman for the Campus. Several years ago a local business man bought the Old Willamina High School and wanted to give it to the community for use as a Community Center. I worked with the owner to set up a non profit board that will renovate the building and use it to strengthen what is happening in the Community. This has been a huge project. The school is 44,000 square feet of classrooms that have been neglected for decades. there are sports fields and out buildings set on 7 acres of land. But the potential for something wonderful to happen here is very exciting to me. We are in the process of applying for our 501-C3. Things slowly keep moving ahead.
Kiwanis
I am also a Board Member for the West Valley Kiwanis Club. This is a club that focuses on children and community service. We do everything from hosting the annual Fishing Derby, to Highway Cleanup (4x a year) to the Annual Duck Race.
SMART - Start Making a Reader Today
I am a volunteer for SMART at Willamina Grade School. That means I head to the school every week to read. I love this time with the children.
Ford Family Foundation Leadership Training
For the last two years I have been part of cohort 2 which has been hard at work in the community. After 6 months of training we were released to accomplish our project which was to place benches around our communities. We placed 6 beautiful artistic benches designed by Stastny Gardens in Sheridan, Grand Ronde and Willamina. They money has all been raised, the benches have all been placed and how we are in the process of getting the group together for our graduation celebration.
FFA - Future Farmers of America
I volunteer with FHA every year and do mock interviews to help them prepare for competition. I also attend various functions with them and support the program in any way that I can fit in.
These are the things that get me out into the community and help ensure that I am not immured behind my desk all day long. These areas of service have broadened me and helped me to connect with people in the community which would never walk through the doors of the church. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve and grateful for the friendships that have grown out of these areas of service.
This should keep me busy for a while ....
Just Connie
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