Growing up I often felt like I did not fit in. That is not different from most teens, but the reality is that I really did not fit in. I was a country girl in an inner city school. I had fun in school but I did not form close friendships. Instead I knew most everybody and was friendly but not friends.
As an adult I have been surprised at how often I feel that feeling. Sometimes it is my gender, sometimes my profession and sometimes I am not sure what it is that keeps me from really fitting in with those around me.
One of the places I so often feel out place in, is within my own extended family. I do not doubt their love for me. It is just that I do not fit into family gatherings and life. I have a feeling that some of it is personalities, some of it my life style and probably the fact that I do not often have the time to be with them. I also realize that there are issues growing out of my divorce which still causes discomfort and a lack of trust. I do not like it, but it is there.
With all of that being said, I did not spend Thanksgiving with them today. I spent it at home with the dogs quietly reflecting on all I am thankful for. And I realize that in spite of the difficulties I am thankful for my family. For their love of life and their love of me. I am fortunate in the wonderful upbringing I had and for the way my family draws together for celebrations.
I am thankful for my family and thankful that love is not determined by comfort. They love me and I love them.
Just Connie
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