Today my former in-laws contacted me. It always makes my stomach clench with the fear that there is bad news about my former husband. But it turns out that they needed his social security number for the missing persons report.
I have to say that ever since he left and I realized that he was living on the streets, I have had a fear that something would happen to him and none of us would ever know. After my years working at the Rescue Mission I know how dangerous the streets are. Weather, infections, fights, predators ... there are just so many things that can go wrong.
So for much of today I have found myself in turmoil as I have thought about all the things that could have happened in the year since we have heard from him. But I am reminded that this is something I cannot change. In the same way that I could not change his decision to leave, I cannot undo his choice to be where he is.
I am praying that we will be able to get news of him, praying that he will be okay, praying that he will find freedom from his addictions and problems. Praying .... praying ... praying ....
And I guess that is an okay thing to be doing ....
Just Connie
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