Living Well

I have been having nightmares the last few weeks. I am pretty sure I know what has triggered them. But so far I have been unable to stop them. I have a feeling my subconscious might be working through some old memories … some rather ugly memories.

I think most of us have those times in life that leave tender spots and scars. When someone unintentionally brushes against it … it hurts. I think the trick is what we choose to do with those “spots” in our lives. I really do not want to be controlled by the bad things in my past. But it can be challenging to not let those painful, hurtful experiences take over our present and do more harm. So here are some of the things that I am committing to … to help live in the present, while learning from the past.

1.  Be connected – To God, to other people and to my community. There is potential danger in too much isolation. And other people can bring love and support into my daily life.

2.  Accept responsibility – For the things I have done, good, bad and everything in between. That means that sometimes there will be a price to pay and sometimes there will be unexpected blessings.

3.  Be realistic – Lay aside the expectations of a perfect world, a perfect life and live in the reality of the present

4.  Be honest – With myself, with other people. It takes much of the stress and guesswork out of life.

5.  Be forgiving – With other people and with myself. I cannot move ahead if I am burdened down with guilt I should not still be carrying

6.  Be generous – It changes my perspective, it changes me and it changes those around me

7.  Be brave – Face the past squarely, live today with victory and view tomorrow with hope

8.  Be a developer – Learn new things, help other people, build new friendships

9.  Choose hope – hard things happen and tough times come, know absolutely that there are better things ahead, it will remind me that God is in control and will bring me through the tough times.

10. Live in love – Love is always the right answer for God is love and all that live in Him, live in love

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

There are good things ahead ....

Just Connie

Crab Trip

I recently took  a trip with friends to do something I had never done. I went crabbing! I woke up early on a frosty foggy January morning. I bundled up in multiple layers, packed my lunch and headed out to meet my friends.

When we got to the beach we were amazed to find the sun shining and no wind. As we unpacked and hiked down to the docks I marveled at the incredible beautiful weather.

Over the next 4 hours we threw crab pots in, pulled crab pots out and measured countless crabs. In between we sat and enjoyed the beautiful view and the entertaining marine life.

In the end we had 10 keeper crabs. Tired and happy we headed home to cook, crack and eat our crab haul. I came home content and realizing anew how much I appreciate being taken into people's lives and families. Friendship is a beautiful thing when you truly experience it.

I am thankful for these moments which lightens and unites our hearts. It brings beauty and peace and the reality of God;s love for us to life.

Just Connie

Beautiful Afternoon

Mid January and today was .... beautiful! After weeks of bitter cold, wild storms and normal winter freezes we had a beautiful bright and sunny day. In fact I woke up to our normal overnight freeze but was shocked when the afternoon warmed up, the sun came out of the fog and the sun shone bright.



With a 60 degree sunny day calling my name, my son and I packed up the fishing poles and headed to local farm pond. To be honest ... I never unpacked my fishing pole, I sat in the sun and read a book.




As I sat there I could feel the peace and beauty fill and smooth the stressed and jagged spots within me. The misty hills, the quiet reflections in the pond and of course the lowing of the cattle in the background ... all of it spoke peace to my heart.



Today reminded me of how important these quiet moments are to my heart,  health and well being. I need to take the time to soak in more of these moments.



Somehow .... someway ....



Just Connie

I Really Needed That

It was a dark and foggy night .... in fact very, very foggy. The fog was misting and swirling and suddenly about 20 feet in front of my car there was a huge dark shape in my lane. I slammed on my brakes and jerked my wheel to the left as the car rocked alarmingly and the tires squealed. As I was fighting for control of the car, I looked to my right and standing there in the middle of the road was a large bull elk. I can remember thinking as I slid past it ..."Is that a moose? No we don't have moose ...it's an elk. He is so huge I cannot even see his head". And then suddenly, miraculously I was past it and stopped. I shakily pulled the car back into my lane looking for a place where I could pull off ... but there were none.


As I slowly kept going I took the exit to Willamina which was only about a half mile down the road. As I drove my mind was whirling. "I cannot believe that the elk just stood there while my car slid around him. I am so lucky I saw him before I hit him .... so lucky there were no oncoming vehicles." And it was while I found myself whispering, "So lucky" that I was struck by a sense of God's hand in this. This was not luck, this was God meeting the need before I even knew I needed it.


When I got home, in spite of the late hour I called my mother and asked, "Mom were you praying for me?" When she said yes, I told her what had happened and how those prayers were answered in such a miraculous way.


I do not fully understand exactly how our prayers bring answers in such miraculous ways, I only know that it is real. Last night reminds me that prayer is powerful and can do miraculous things. It has done miraculous things.


My heart is very grateful  .... for divine intervention but also for a mother that prays. I really needed that.


Just Connie

I am a Believer

I am a believer in small government. I believe in personal freedom to choose even when it might not be smart. I believe that everyone should wear a seatbelt, but I believe that there should not be a law forcing you to wear one. I am often frightened by the erosion of personal rights.


With that being said, I will also share that I do not like "The Affordable Care Act". I do not think health care should be legislated or taken over by the government. I do not see the possibility for this program to succeed and I expect it to fail.


I do not believe in this program but today I signed up because for the last 5 years I have not had any health care coverage. Trying to make ends meet while finding a way to get meds and see the doctor has been a stiff challenge ... especially last year. I spent thousands of dollars on medical needs last year and there were some treatments that I opted out of because I just could not afford it.


Beginning February 1st I will have Health Insurance. That is rather amazing since I have been considered uninsurable. Suddenly I have insurance and I will be able to take care of some the issues that I have put off over the past 5 years.


I am not sure that I will have insurance longer than a year, but for this year it looks like I am covered. I am grateful but I have to say that I still do not agree with the program. There is no way that it can succeed financially and I honestly think that this Act might be the straw that broke the camels back. Perhaps we will begin to say .... this is enough .... no more!


But while I wait for that day, I remain compliant to the law .... and I have insurance! And that is something to celebrate.


Just Connie

Dinner Thoughts

Last night was the annual West Valley Fire District Awards Dinner. I always enjoy this evening relaxing with the crew, command staff and board members. I mean, how often do you get to have dinner with 50 handsome young men?


I really enjoy the opportunity to serve with the Fire Department. There are not many things we get to do in life where you know that you are making a life and death difference. The Fire Department is though ... everything I do that strengthens the Fire Department or the crew helps save lives.


I also play an interesting dual role. First of all I serve as a Chaplain and so I work very hard to develop relationships and trust. That way when the hard calls come, they will hopefully trust me enough to honestly share their heart. Secondly, I serve as on the Fire Board. That is an elected position that sets the policy and procedures for the Fire District to function well.


Nights like last night give me a renewed appreciation of what I am doing with the Fire Department. To see us all together like that is rather amazing. To get to know them beyond work is a wonderful blessing. Last night also reminded me that I really have a good life, a life that is making a difference.


I do not think that you can ask for any more than that ....


Just Connie

Feeling What I Feel

There are times that loneliness grips me. It seems to sneak up on me when I absolutely do not expect it. Today was like that.


I had been having a wonderful day, breakfast with the church folks and then I headed over to Grand Ronde to help my friends unpack after their move here. It is so wonderful to have them just 10 minutes away. I enjoyed my time with them so much and I hardly realized how much I had missed them until they were here. We spent a wonderful day laughing and working side by side. But the time came when it was time for me to get in my car and drive home .... alone. And that is when it happened .... suddenly I was struck by a sense of sadness and loneliness as I thought about driving home alone, to an empty house with a long evening stretching in front of me.


Nothing was different than it had been for the past 6 years, I had spent a thoroughly enjoyable day with friends and yet ... there it was. Why I am not sure ... but there it was. Unwelcome, uncomfortable but very real.


So I drove home, played with the dogs, made some dinner and spent some quiet time curled up in front of the fire. And the thing that I am finding is that how I feel is just how I feel. It is neither right now wrong, it just "is".


So tonight I am feeling the feelings  .... and that is enough for now.


Just Connie