Feeling What I Feel

There are times that loneliness grips me. It seems to sneak up on me when I absolutely do not expect it. Today was like that.


I had been having a wonderful day, breakfast with the church folks and then I headed over to Grand Ronde to help my friends unpack after their move here. It is so wonderful to have them just 10 minutes away. I enjoyed my time with them so much and I hardly realized how much I had missed them until they were here. We spent a wonderful day laughing and working side by side. But the time came when it was time for me to get in my car and drive home .... alone. And that is when it happened .... suddenly I was struck by a sense of sadness and loneliness as I thought about driving home alone, to an empty house with a long evening stretching in front of me.


Nothing was different than it had been for the past 6 years, I had spent a thoroughly enjoyable day with friends and yet ... there it was. Why I am not sure ... but there it was. Unwelcome, uncomfortable but very real.


So I drove home, played with the dogs, made some dinner and spent some quiet time curled up in front of the fire. And the thing that I am finding is that how I feel is just how I feel. It is neither right now wrong, it just "is".


So tonight I am feeling the feelings  .... and that is enough for now.


Just Connie