New Year's Eve

Tonight is the last night of 2010. I always find year end a time of reflection for me. As I look back over this past year, there has been many changes for me. Primarily of course becoming the senior pastor of the Willamina Church. It has been sooooo good to be doing what I know God has called me to do. To be able to really give myself to ministry ... heart and soul.

Another change that has been remarkable have been my house remodel. It is such a wonderful space for me. I love the view and the sense of light and openness. It was worth every penny I sacrificed to do it.

All in all it was an okay year. Much of it was spent in transition. Transition is often uncomfortable but it is a bridge for tomorrow. I am looking with anticipation to what God will bring in 2011. It is a blank page waiting to be written.

Just Connie

Finance Committee

I had a finance committee meeting tonight. It went very well and I think we have good solid numbers to present to the board next week. It was so very different from last year's finance committee.

Last year I had spent weeks trying to make heads or tails of the numbers I had been given. It was a frustrating mess. This year we actually know what our expenses have been and what our income is. We have come a long way in just a year. I thought tonight was a good example of how far we had come.

Now next Thursday we will present the numbers to the Board and be ready for our annual meeting. We still have some wiggle room and I have a couple of areas that I am really praying about. I think we are being faithful stewards and that is a good feeling. I can't imagine how far we will go in the next year. it will be exciting to see where God will lead us.

Just Connie

Flu Bug

I have picked up the flu bug that the rest of the family had at Christmas. Over the last couple of days I have been taking meds and sleeping lots and trying to keep everything on the inside where it belongs .... on the inside. I am on the healing end of it all now .... I think.

I think it is time for more aspirin and sleep. I will write more tomorrow.

Just Connie

Sunday Thoughts

I curled up on the couch in front of the fire this afternoon. I woke up three hours later when the dogs were demanding to to be let out. I felt like I could have slept for much longer. It felt good but is such a lazy way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I should feel guilty but I don't

After church today I had lunch with good friends today. People who knew me from back in my Nazarene days. People who have stood by me when life got hard and have been with me in the joyous times as well. It was so good to be with them and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

It reminded me that I really need to spend more time with  people. I need to play and recreate and do more than just work and be with the dogs. It adds something rich and wonderful to the fabric of my life when I do. I find that tonight I am filled with a feeling of peace and contentment. That is a feeling I would like to hang onto. I am grateful for the gift of friendship and all that it brings to my life.

Just Connie

Christmas

Merry Christmas! It is now Christmas evening and I am sitting in front of a roaring fire reflecting on the day. I woke up early (thanks to my dogs) and went and jumped on mom and dad's bed. Of course they were already awake and I drug the stocking presents in and we opened presents and laughed at the dogs.

Charlie (my sheepdog) having years of experience, knew what to do with her stocking gifts and ripped them open to get the good stuff inside. Hope puppy was pretty confused about why we kept trying to get her to tear open the presents when we always tell her "No, no don't chew". But once she had a ball opened she was useless for anything but chasing the ball. She had a grand Christmas and loved her new balls.

After gifts, I packed up the doggies and headed back home to Willamina. I have to admit to feeling a bit sad. I missed the kids, missed the companionship of married life and hated being alone on Christmas. But as I unpacked the car I decided I was going to just enjoy the day I was given. I unpacked, put on Christmas music and turned on all the tree lights. About the time I was beginning to feel sad again, I had friends stop in to say Merry Christmas. it was a wonderful blessing and really cheered me up.

I ended the day with dinner with friends. I had such a good time with them. Fabulous food and  wonderful friends. The evening was filled with love and laughter. It was a balm to my heart. I am so grateful for their kindness.

All in all Christmas was a good day. I came away from the holiday celebrations knowing I am loved. I also came away knowing that I need to develop new traditions. I need to steer away from trying to make Christmas like it used to be and just let it be what it is. It is not about the trappings and the traditions, it is about the gift of Christ. God wrapped in humanity. That is enough .... for even me.

Just Connie

Pre Christmas Thoughts

I made the trip to my parents today. With the dogs and the presents and all of the baked goods I have been baking this past week.I packed up the car, herded the dogs in the car and headed down to the low lands.  It is always good to see my parents. I love spending time with them and I am glad to be here to lend a hand as all the family comes to their house tomorrow.

I find it amazing how things have changed over the decades. My nieces and nephews are grown and married. My own children have lives of their own. I just never thought it would all happen so quickly. The years have passed too fast. This time of year I find that I have  desire to turn back the clock, to have my children at home and have the family gathering around.

But my life is what it is and I am determined to find the joy right where I am. So I will head to bed tonight and look with anticipation for tomorrow's gathering. It might not be what I wished for or wanted but I am convinced that there is love and joy to be found there.

Just Connie

Feelings

As a pastor, I live my life to serve other people. It is not a hardship I  love to help, it brings a deep joy to me. But every once in a while I find myself asking, "Is it ever about me?" Of course I immediately feel guilty for thinking such thoughts. But the thought still pops up every now and again regardless of how hard I try to beat it down.

Today the thought has popped up again. I find the holidays hard as people are making family plans and excited to be with each other. As hard as I try to make everything okay, my reality saddens me. I miss the companionship of a family. I miss being special to someone. I miss being the hub of family activity and I am tired tonight of being on the outside looking in.

But I realize that these feelings are just that .... feelings. They are not permanent and they point the way to something that I need to pay attention to. Feelings "warn and inform". I am not sure exactly what this sadness is telling me, but I guess it will come clear to me in time. I think it is time to get a good night's sleep and try again tomorrow.

Just Connie