Being married to an alcoholic is an education. Much of it has been an education that I never wanted, but I have to admit that it has taught me stuff.
I have learned to depend on myself and found an independence that I could never have imagined. I have learned new depths and a strength of character that I would not have known I could have. Conversely, I have also learned what it is like to live in fear, to be in need, to be heartsick, disgusted and lonely.
Today he called. I have not heard from him in about a month and a half. The last time I talked to him he was …. well drunk. Today he sounded more like the man I married. It was the first time I have seen a glimpse of that man in almost a year. He just called to briefly let me know that he was doing okay and would be sending me a letter.
I was glad to know that he was doing well. I was even more glad to know that he was still in rehab. I think he will have a long hard road ahead of him. I guess at this point the best thing I can do for him is to keep praying.
“Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth” Psalm 54:2
I think I also need to pray for me. I do not want anger or bitterness to creep in. I want my heart to stay loving, my motives pure and my focus on Christ.
I think there is a lot to pray about.
Just Connie
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