I am still fighting a sense of discouragement. I have chastised myself and prodded myself and I still feel it lurking in the quiet moments. All day long it has been a drain on my energy. Tonight I find that I am exhausted and headachy. I am certain that the two are related.
I made myself go and meet with the prayer team tonight. That was good. It forced me to look beyond myself and my problems. They also prayed for me and that was truly a blessing and I am very thankful. But yet here I sit sad and tired.
I think these emotions I am feeling are a normal part of ministry. We are on the front lines and so often the fire is directed right at us. Just like the “friendly fire” I got last night. I think I need to keep moving ahead and keep making healthy choices for myself. I cannot allow myself to pull back and isolate myself because it hurts.
I think I have some deep water to wade through in the days ahead. You know, I still want an easy button.
“(I will give) my attention to prayer and the ministry of the word." Acts 6:4
Just Connie
2 comments:
You are truly such a beautiful woman! You have such a heart after God...I am so blessed and grateful to get to see your heart thank you for allowing me in and letting me read this blog and thank you for being Just Connie. You truly are so beautiful in your raw moments. God loves you lady. I mean He really, really loves you. If you were the only person on this planet the day He was crucified, He still would have been crucified that's how much He loves you. Now I know you know all that but sometimes even ministers need encouragement and sometimes even there little girl in them needs someone to remind them that it's perfectly good and just and alright to climb up on there Daddy Jesus' lap and let Him stroke their hair and love on them a little bit cuz the pain and confusion of life is too much and ONLY HE can truly fix it BECAUSE ONLY HE LOVES YOU THAT MUCH ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO FIX IT...yes I KNOW that you KNOW that...I also know my sweet friend that you suffer from the human condition as well...and that you need reminding of that just like all of us....Love and blessings sweet daughter of the Most High God!!
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