Revelation

I have a dear friend who is a licensed counselor. She is very good at holding up a mirror for me to see things that I otherwise would not have the courage to look at on my own. Recently she has been helping me look honestly at my husband and our relationship over the past 10 years.

With her guidance and help, I have been having some uncomfortable revelations. My husband's anger and rages, his drinking, the threats and intimidation, the things things that I am too embarrassed to say out loud ... as well as my fear of him and my injuries all add up. But it adds up to something I have not been willing to admit or name. Abuse is such a harsh word. It is something that happens to other people. It can't happen to me. I am a professional, I am educated, I counsel ..... but the reality is that I am an abused wife.

I am beginning to identify the path that brought me to that. It is a horrific revelation and I admit to a hovering sense of shame. But I am coming to realize that false shame has imprisoned me for 10 long years. It has fenced me in and clouded my perceptions.

I am being given the chance to face this issue. I am trying to do it with honesty and integrity. I am finding it extremely painful, but life changing. I think it is time (past time) to walk into the future that God is offering me. A future of freedom, a future that is not fenced in by fear. A future where I can be everything that God created me to be. To be free indeed ....

"I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts." Psalm 119:45

Just Connie