I am frightened. I can feel the fear rolling around me like a damp pervasive fog. My thoughts are disjointed and my heart is beating faster and I am fighting the urge to run and hide. It began this morning with a text message. I read the obscene message first with disbelief and a bit of anger and then with growing fear as the reality behind the words began to sink in. The extremely explicit message on my phone would only have been generated if my former spouse was drinking ... and if he is drinking then his volatility and anger is usually directed at me.
My heart began to race as I contemplated the scope of the issue. He could continue to send these obscene messages, he could continue to call (one recent night there were 5 drunken calls between 10:30 and 12:00 at night) it could mean that he is heading back to this area. That was the moment that my stomach began to heave.
I took the message and my fear to my good friend who is a counselor to get her input and wisdom and I called my ex-father in law. Both of those conversations only deepened my sense of danger. I realize that fear is a symptom that God gives us to help us make good decisions. I am frightened because I need to be fully aware of the potential danger of this situation.
Now I just need to make good decisions and look for God's path through this. But meanwhile I think the dogs are going to be sleeping with me tonight.
Just Connie
2 comments:
Thinking of you my friend and praying that you are comforted by God's arm of protection! Wish we lived closer and then we could kick someone's butt hard if they tried to bother you!
Praying God's peace will fill your heart and His wisdom fill your mind. Joshua 1:9
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