Six Years

It was six years ago that my life forever changed when my sister Delinda was killed on her way to work. There are parts of the days that followed that are etched very clearly in my memory.

I remember the long, long drive from Seattle where I got the news. I do not think any drive ever took so long. I remember the agony of waiting in my parents living room the morning of her funeral until it was time to leave for the service. I remember that I could not sit still, I found myself pacing the floor and trying to somehow keep myself breathing evenly when what I wanted was to throw myself on the bed and scream in agony. I remember driving to the cemetery and seeing the bagpiper at the entrance playing Amazing Grace. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach as I strove to hold the sobs in. I remember staying at the cemetery with my nephew as we watched the casket being slowly lowered into the grave. We stood there as an honor guard as she was laid to rest.

The other thing I remember is the Delinda sized hole that was left in my life. That memory is still as fresh today as it was six years ago. Nothing can take the place of her love of life, her creativity and her love for her family. I wish that I had had more time with her, I wish that I had not wasted so much of the time that I was given.

I wish ....

Just Connie