Today my former in-laws contacted me. It always makes my stomach clench with the fear that there is bad news about my former husband. But it turns out that they needed his social security number for the missing persons report.
I have to say that ever since he left and I realized that he was living on the streets, I have had a fear that something would happen to him and none of us would ever know. After my years working at the Rescue Mission I know how dangerous the streets are. Weather, infections, fights, predators ... there are just so many things that can go wrong.
So for much of today I have found myself in turmoil as I have thought about all the things that could have happened in the year since we have heard from him. But I am reminded that this is something I cannot change. In the same way that I could not change his decision to leave, I cannot undo his choice to be where he is.
I am praying that we will be able to get news of him, praying that he will be okay, praying that he will find freedom from his addictions and problems. Praying .... praying ... praying ....
And I guess that is an okay thing to be doing ....
Just Connie
Monday, December 30, 2013
Life Happens ....
This is the week ... the week that I think about things ... about the past and about my future. It was 5 years ago this week that I slipped a few clothes in a bag and quietly crept out of the house. Leaving a a situation that was becoming more and more dangerous for me. I left to protect myself but I had hope that somehow my husband would sober up and that God would work a miracle for us.
Instead over the next month and a half it became obvious that he had no desire for sobriety or for marriage. And one day in February he called to say goodbye as he left town. It was with sadness that I pulled into an empty house two months after I left and began to rebuild my life.
There is still so much that brings me great sadness as I look back. Sad for what we lost in his alcoholism, sad for the scars that it brought to my life and sad for the gifts that this man has that are obscured by his choice for alcohol. Sad that I find myself alone at this point in my life.
But as I look back I also realize that God has done some wonderful things in my heart and life in the past 5 years. He has taught me to both receive grace and to give grace. He has brought people to help me when I am weak and people to celebrate the victories with me. He has taught me to do things for myself that I never wanted to attempt, like mow the lawn and service my pellet stove.Iit fills me with the sense that I can be independent and yet accept help when I need it.
As I look ahead, I realize that my life might not be what I dreamed it would be. However, I am choosing to live in hope. Hope that God is not done with me, hope that there are good things ahead for me and hope in the knowledge that life is worth the hurts.
Life happens ... But I choose hope. It is always the right choice.
Instead over the next month and a half it became obvious that he had no desire for sobriety or for marriage. And one day in February he called to say goodbye as he left town. It was with sadness that I pulled into an empty house two months after I left and began to rebuild my life.
There is still so much that brings me great sadness as I look back. Sad for what we lost in his alcoholism, sad for the scars that it brought to my life and sad for the gifts that this man has that are obscured by his choice for alcohol. Sad that I find myself alone at this point in my life.
But as I look back I also realize that God has done some wonderful things in my heart and life in the past 5 years. He has taught me to both receive grace and to give grace. He has brought people to help me when I am weak and people to celebrate the victories with me. He has taught me to do things for myself that I never wanted to attempt, like mow the lawn and service my pellet stove.Iit fills me with the sense that I can be independent and yet accept help when I need it.
As I look ahead, I realize that my life might not be what I dreamed it would be. However, I am choosing to live in hope. Hope that God is not done with me, hope that there are good things ahead for me and hope in the knowledge that life is worth the hurts.
Life happens ... But I choose hope. It is always the right choice.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Rest Time
Sometimes in the midst of my busy schedule it seems my body just crashes. I have definitely reached one of those times. With nothing pressing on my schedule, I have spent the last couple of days napping on the couch. I refuse to feel guilty about that, I am thinking that my body and mind must need that. I also realize that antibiotics take a toll on me and that I need to let the meds continue to do their work and give all of my systems adequate time to rest and restore.
So for today I will continue to lay low and enjoy this rare time. It gives me a good foundation for the busy time I know will be ahead for me.
I think it is time to go and take a nap ....
Just Connie
So for today I will continue to lay low and enjoy this rare time. It gives me a good foundation for the busy time I know will be ahead for me.
I think it is time to go and take a nap ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Christmas Day
Christmas Day ,,, I am not sure how it got here so quickly. But I popped out of bed at mom and dad's at 5:00 this morning. after dragging my nephew out of bed we opened our stockings played with the dogs and enjoyed an hour with the family. Then I packed up the car and drove home to Willamina.
After unpacking the car and dropping Hope Puppy off, I headed down to Coyote Joe's for the Annual Christmas Dinner. For the next 5 hours I waited and bused tables, and laughed and joked and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
There is something so very satisfying about taking the time to serve others instead of moping around home by myself. I am very glad to have this gift of opportunity given to me each year. It makes my Christmas so much richer and joyful.
So here I sit tonight, tired, happy and feeling very content with life. I am thinking that is a pretty good feeling at the end of a pretty good day.
Just Connie
After unpacking the car and dropping Hope Puppy off, I headed down to Coyote Joe's for the Annual Christmas Dinner. For the next 5 hours I waited and bused tables, and laughed and joked and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
There is something so very satisfying about taking the time to serve others instead of moping around home by myself. I am very glad to have this gift of opportunity given to me each year. It makes my Christmas so much richer and joyful.
So here I sit tonight, tired, happy and feeling very content with life. I am thinking that is a pretty good feeling at the end of a pretty good day.
Just Connie
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sinus Infection
I have had some nagging sinus problems over the last couple of months. I went to the Dr a couple of months ago and today I finally went back. It seems that I have a sinus infection. So I am back on antibiotics and cough meds again as well as decongestants.
I love my Dr. He is kind and caring and seems to have a pretty good handle on how I operate. he also realizes that as an uninsured patient I have limited funds available for treatment and meds. Today he told me that if my sinus infection does not clear up we would have to do a cat scan. I laughed and pointed out that what I had just heard was, "Do not come back to see me about this". But he knows that I will, because I am highly motivated to not have another year like I had last year. However I am thinking that a cat scan would probably be beyond my financial means. Unless of course I use the neighbors cat for the scan. But somehow I am not sure that would actually get the job done.
So tonight I am having a quiet night and taking my meds like a good girl. Hopefully this will soon be cleared up and I will be back at full strength once again.
At least I sure hope so ... I can only be good for so long ....
Just Connie
I love my Dr. He is kind and caring and seems to have a pretty good handle on how I operate. he also realizes that as an uninsured patient I have limited funds available for treatment and meds. Today he told me that if my sinus infection does not clear up we would have to do a cat scan. I laughed and pointed out that what I had just heard was, "Do not come back to see me about this". But he knows that I will, because I am highly motivated to not have another year like I had last year. However I am thinking that a cat scan would probably be beyond my financial means. Unless of course I use the neighbors cat for the scan. But somehow I am not sure that would actually get the job done.
So tonight I am having a quiet night and taking my meds like a good girl. Hopefully this will soon be cleared up and I will be back at full strength once again.
At least I sure hope so ... I can only be good for so long ....
Just Connie
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Christmas Time is Here
It seemed that I had plenty of time before Christmas. All of a sudden Christmas is rushing up on me and I have very little done. Yesterday it dawned on me that I had done next to no shopping. So after I finished up my sermon work I headed into McMinnville to go shopping. I have to admit that it is not nearly as much fun as it used to be.
However, I persevered and headed to Pier 101 where I wanted to look at the Christmas ornaments. I had broken so many of my special ornaments last year when the tree fell over that I decided I was going to buy one special ornament every year. So I chose a beautiful hand painted, hand blown ornament ads the first of my new collection. While I was there I actually found some stocking stuffers for my mom and enjoyed some quiet time in a very peaceful store. I highly recommend it as a place to shop during Christmas.
From there I headed over to JC Penny's because I have been trying to find something special to wear for the Candle Light Service. However ... I struck out once again. But I decided to celebrate by grabbing a hamburger while I drove to the next store on my list to get the last of my son's Christmas presents and Birthday gifts.
As usual my son asked for only one thing ... ammo. Last year I actually bought him a bunch of ammo. Nothing says "Merry Christmas like a pile of ammunition. This year I decided that I was NOT going to buy him ammo and actually found a few things that I knew he really needed.
So I came home last night tired but almost finished with my shopping. I have a few little odds and ends to pick up and of course some baking to do. Now to just get all of the church work done that needs to happen before Sunday.
I just need a couple of extra days in the week this week to get it all done. That is a pretty reasonable request .... right?
However, I persevered and headed to Pier 101 where I wanted to look at the Christmas ornaments. I had broken so many of my special ornaments last year when the tree fell over that I decided I was going to buy one special ornament every year. So I chose a beautiful hand painted, hand blown ornament ads the first of my new collection. While I was there I actually found some stocking stuffers for my mom and enjoyed some quiet time in a very peaceful store. I highly recommend it as a place to shop during Christmas.
From there I headed over to JC Penny's because I have been trying to find something special to wear for the Candle Light Service. However ... I struck out once again. But I decided to celebrate by grabbing a hamburger while I drove to the next store on my list to get the last of my son's Christmas presents and Birthday gifts.
As usual my son asked for only one thing ... ammo. Last year I actually bought him a bunch of ammo. Nothing says "Merry Christmas like a pile of ammunition. This year I decided that I was NOT going to buy him ammo and actually found a few things that I knew he really needed.
So I came home last night tired but almost finished with my shopping. I have a few little odds and ends to pick up and of course some baking to do. Now to just get all of the church work done that needs to happen before Sunday.
I just need a couple of extra days in the week this week to get it all done. That is a pretty reasonable request .... right?
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Christmas Time
Tonight I met with the ladies of the church for our annual Ornament Exchange party. It is an evening of laughter and enjoying the rare chance to sit and chat with each other. As always, it was a thoroughly enjoyable time.
As I was driving home I was thinking back on the evening and rare it seems to be for me to have these relaxing times when I do not have to be the one in charge or specific duties that have to be done. It makes these rare times all the more enjoyable when they do happen.
I am hoping that this Christmas I will be able to carve out some time to do the things I really want to do. I think I need to build in some more of these times then I do. It is probably not healthy for me to have so much of my time scheduled.
I will try ... but I have a feeling it will not be very easy. But probably very worthwhile to try ....
Just Connie
As I was driving home I was thinking back on the evening and rare it seems to be for me to have these relaxing times when I do not have to be the one in charge or specific duties that have to be done. It makes these rare times all the more enjoyable when they do happen.
I am hoping that this Christmas I will be able to carve out some time to do the things I really want to do. I think I need to build in some more of these times then I do. It is probably not healthy for me to have so much of my time scheduled.
I will try ... but I have a feeling it will not be very easy. But probably very worthwhile to try ....
Just Connie
Friday, December 13, 2013
Christmas Tree 2013
So Christmas has come to my house. I was leaning towards not putting up a tree this year, because I was so busy and no one was coming over for Christmas. So I was thinking I could simplify everything by not doing a tree this year. However, much to my surprise my son went out and cut a tree for me. And what a tree it is ... it has about 15 branches on the entire tree. It is a sad little tree that would make Charlie Brown proud. Not only that but the trunk was too small for my tree stand. It took a full 24 hours before my son was able to come up with a solution to fix the trunk issue. Then I realized that the ladder was out on the deck covered with six inches of snow and a week of ice. SO I drug the ladder in the house to let it thaw out with towels under it to catch the mess.
The ladder had thawed out the next morning so when I got home that night we began the attic trek. Getting in the attic is always fun because for me the ladder is about a foot too short. That means I have to pull myself into the attic by my arms as if I was doing chin ups. I keep telling myself that it is good for me ... but some days it is a whole lot harder to do than other days. But we got up there and I was even able to pull down just the family room decorations.
So today I have been puttering around decorating the tree and putting up a few decorations. I have to admit that it is kind of nice to have a tree up. Perhaps it will even motivate me to wrap some presents and finish my shopping. Who knows perhaps I will even get some baking done.
And you know ....the sad little tree is growing on me.
Just Connie
Monday, December 9, 2013
Artic Blast
The last week or so we have been stuck in what the weather guys call an "Artic Blast". I personally call it just plain cold. Last Friday the snow moved in and we got about 6 inches or so. yesterday some areas of Willamina registered at -5 degrees. That goes past cold and makes everything kind of miserable. I am finding it hard to warm up unless I am standing in front of the pellet stove.I will say that this snowy, bitterly cold world is very pretty. But I find that it makes everything a bit more challenging. From running to the grocery store, to deciding which streets I can drive up and which I cannot. In my neighborhood a lot of people park down on the flats and hike up the hill. I have been very thankful for 4-wheel drive which gets me up and down the hill with relative ease and safety.
Another challenge has been keeping water flowing. So many of my friends are experiencing broken and/or frozen pipes. I have not, however I especially have one set of outside pipes that I am keeping an eye on. Especially when it begins to thaw out, I will watch for the sight and sound of flowing water from under my deck.
Yet another challenge is the very low attendance at church because so many people could not make it safely. We actually had to cancel some of our scheduled Christmas events at the church. Even the town cancelled the Annual Light Parade which has never happened.
However, we are supposed to creep above freezing sometime later this week. Of course that is not before they are predicting freezing rain for us. It would not be winter in Willamina without a couple of bouts of freezing rain.
All I can say is that I am thankful that it is not on a Sunday this time....
Just Connie
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Buy Local
My pellet stove stopped working almost two months ago. For a month I hunkered down and tried to decide what I was going to do. Then I finally marched myself down to the hardware store and purchased a stove. I was really nervous about ordering a stove. I was afraid that it would not be a good one, that it would not fit. it really scared me to make that big a decision on my own.
But I took the step and ordered it. It came in in several weeks ago. The first thing that I noticed was that it was smoking. We kept working on it and someone finally mentioned to our local hardware store that I could not use it yet. The came to my house and looked at it, gave their opinion on what was wrong and then sent someone over the next day to install it with all new stove pipes.
I have been blown away by how incredible the hardware store has been. They have gone out of their way to try to make this work for me. It reminds me of the value of a small town and shopping local. I made a commitment several years ago to shop local whenever I could. Even if I could get it cheaper somewhere else I still buy it local. My decision to buy local has blessed me over and over again. First of all by the friendships I have developed with our local business owners and then by things like this. They really go over and above trying to help.
I use this as an example of why we should support our local businesses. The amazing thing is that in the long run, the person we are truly helping is ourselves.
And even better .... I have heat again!
Just Connie
But I took the step and ordered it. It came in in several weeks ago. The first thing that I noticed was that it was smoking. We kept working on it and someone finally mentioned to our local hardware store that I could not use it yet. The came to my house and looked at it, gave their opinion on what was wrong and then sent someone over the next day to install it with all new stove pipes.
I have been blown away by how incredible the hardware store has been. They have gone out of their way to try to make this work for me. It reminds me of the value of a small town and shopping local. I made a commitment several years ago to shop local whenever I could. Even if I could get it cheaper somewhere else I still buy it local. My decision to buy local has blessed me over and over again. First of all by the friendships I have developed with our local business owners and then by things like this. They really go over and above trying to help.
I use this as an example of why we should support our local businesses. The amazing thing is that in the long run, the person we are truly helping is ourselves.
And even better .... I have heat again!
Just Connie
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Thinking and Remembering
The message came early Thanksgiving morning. It was a cousin of my former husband. The question was fairly simple, "Would I give them a photo of Gerrald that they could use in searching for him?". I was taken aback by the things I felt when I read that message. I was frightened for Gerrald ... his family was sharing my fear .... that something has happened to him and we will never know what. I was struck by the way everything in me tensed up and I could feel the adrenaline rush ... in the "fight or flight" response. (That seems to happen every time I am faced with something dealing with him). Old responses to a past I do not enjoy thinking about. I also felt a great sense of dread. I did not want to search through photos of happier times of times when I still had hope and a dream for what God could do through us together.
However, I spent a couple of hours of Thanksgiving Day searching through what photos I had that I could e-mail to them for the search. And I found it so .... so very painful. It hurt because of the broken dreams and promises, it hurt because the photos chronicled the cycle of Gerrald's addiction and it hurt to see that I had very few photos of our last couple of years together. When I did the math I realize that he has been gone for almost 5 years now and most of the photos I had were of 3-5 years before that. Most of them were 10 years out of date.
But I finally chose a photo and sent it off. I found myself siting and staring at the screen for a long time, thinking of everything that I had lost through those dark years. Thinking how long ago it seems, yet how fresh some of it is still in my mind. Thinking of a wonderful man with a terrible addiction and how that addiction changed him into someone that still gives me nightmares.
Thinking, remembering .... and praying. Praying for his safety, that he will find freedom from the bondage that he has been in. Praying that I continue to move forward and let God continue to bring light to the dark places of hurt within me. Praying that I will find God lesson for me as I sort through all of this.
Praying ..... and that is a pretty good thing ...
Just Conie
However, I spent a couple of hours of Thanksgiving Day searching through what photos I had that I could e-mail to them for the search. And I found it so .... so very painful. It hurt because of the broken dreams and promises, it hurt because the photos chronicled the cycle of Gerrald's addiction and it hurt to see that I had very few photos of our last couple of years together. When I did the math I realize that he has been gone for almost 5 years now and most of the photos I had were of 3-5 years before that. Most of them were 10 years out of date.
But I finally chose a photo and sent it off. I found myself siting and staring at the screen for a long time, thinking of everything that I had lost through those dark years. Thinking how long ago it seems, yet how fresh some of it is still in my mind. Thinking of a wonderful man with a terrible addiction and how that addiction changed him into someone that still gives me nightmares.
Thinking, remembering .... and praying. Praying for his safety, that he will find freedom from the bondage that he has been in. Praying that I continue to move forward and let God continue to bring light to the dark places of hurt within me. Praying that I will find God lesson for me as I sort through all of this.
Praying ..... and that is a pretty good thing ...
Just Conie
Monday, December 2, 2013
Month of Gratitude
I think gratitude is an integral part of living a contented and happy life. I am finding that gratitude changes things. It changes me, my viewpoint and how I interact with others. For the past few years I have chosen to post things I am thankful for every day in the month of November on Facebook. I thought I would put my entire month down here.
Day 1 - Today I am thankful for the gift of
friendship which survives through the years. To each and everyone of my friends
I am very thankful for you.
Day 2 - On Day 2 of my Month of Gratitude, I
am thankful for the two children that God gave me. After years of prayer and
sorrow God answered the prayer of my heart and entwined our lives together. How
grateful I am to be called Mom. I give thanks for my beautiful daughter Joy
Schulte and for my son Tony Aunspaugh. You are both a continued answer to
prayer and a blessing to me.
Day 4 - I am thankful for my parents, For their unfailing love and support through the years. For the storybook upbringing they gave me and the strong moral household they provided for me. They are incredible loving and giving people that have blessed me every day of my life.
Day 6 - I am thankful for my sister Toni Irish. I am thankful for creativity and hospitality that she shares so freely with the family. I am blessed and challenged by how different we are
Day 7 - I am thankful for laughter. Early this morning a mouse ran across my hand as I was getting a towel from the cupboard and somehow my body was hijacked by a shrieking screaming woman. My son jumped out of bed and came to save me from what he was sure was an ax murderer with a gun in each hand. As I stood there on the top of bathtub and looked at my son with his guns drawn, I tried to tell him it was a vicious life threatening gargantuan mouse …. As big as a goat!. As he looked at me in disbelief ... that is when the laughter began. I am still laughing .... and that is a pretty good way to start the day.
Day 8 - I am thankful for ministry. I am so grateful for the opportunity to express the call of God in so many diverse ways. I believe I have the best "job" in the world.
Day 9 - I am thankful for the community I live in. I love the warm loving people, the support and help they offer so freely. I love walking into businesses and knowing the owners and staff by name. I love the way that so many committees and groups are networked together. I love these people and I am thankful to live here!
Day 10 - I am thankful for the congregation I serve. I appreciate their love and support, their vision and their hard work. I also am grateful for the way they have invited me into their lives and families. Every day I give thanks to God weaving our lives and hearts together
Day 11 - First of all I want to thank God for answering the cry in my heart and 27 years ago bringing a tiny, curly blonde headed baby into my life. She still blesses and challenges me and I am so very proud of her. She has grown into an incredible woman. I love you!
Day 11 Continued - I am also grateful today for the men and women who generously and sacrificially choose to serve our country. Their service has made a difference through the generations and makes a difference today. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice so that we would live in freedom. My hope is that I would never take that for granted but live in thankfulness every day for the gift they give us. Secondly, I give thanks for the men and women who so generously and sacrificially have served our country. Their service has made a difference through the generations and makes a difference today. May I never take that gift for granted but may I always live in gratitude.
Day 12 - I would like to give thanks for the unexpected blessings that God gives to us so freely. Sunday I was surprised and blessed to have very "old friends" Cliff Watt and Carolyn Watt in church. That surprise visit filled my heart with such joy that it still makes me smile when I think about it. God is soooo good!
Day 13 - I would like to give thanks for medical Doctors, in particular my doctor. His knowledge, caring, committed involvement in our community is both a blessing and a challenge to me
Day 14 - I am very thankful for my companion Hope Puppy. She makes me laugh, loves me unconditionally and sticks with me without fail. I am so grateful for the day my neighbor boy took all his Christmas money and bought her for me.
Day 15 - I am thankful for heat. My pellet stove has been down for the count and the new one will not be here for another week. After a long cold week, I had a friend bring a heater to me last night. I am very grateful to have some heat in the house.
Day 16 - I am thankful for technology. For the many ways that it makes my life easier and brings information instantly to my fingertips. Also for the ways that it keeps me connected with friends, family and colleagues
Day 16 Continued - I am also thankful that 28 years ago I sat in an adoption agency and had a tiny little girl placed in my arms. That day of Joy continued to bless me over and over again. I will forever be grateful for the gift God gave me that day.
Day 17 - I am thankful for people willing to use their gifts and serve others. Today singers, instrumentalists, teachers, bakers, cooks and so many others will use their gifts to worship, to guide, lead and celebrate. Each of you bless me over and over again.
Day 18 - Today I am thankful for music, that draws me close to God, helps me express the feelings of my heart and lifts me up
Day 19 - I am thankful for the people who are willing to come along side and help me, both in ministry and in life. You are a wonderful example of Christ's call to serve and you bring joy and encouragement to me.
Day 20 - I am thankful for the handsome young man who fixed my fence on the back of my property. I would say he takes after his mother but that seems a bit self-serving (since he is my son). Thank you Tony for helping me today.
Day 20 Continued - As I was trying to wrestle the over full recycling bin across the street, the bin fell over spilling paper and cardboard everywhere ... and right in front of a dump truck. It was so ridiculous I started laughing as I stood in the middle of the street in a pile of paper and cardboard in front of the truck. I was still laughing when the dump truck driver got out and helped me pick everything back up and get the bin upright and put away. I am thankful for his kindness and the opportunity to meet a very nice man.
Day 21 - I am thankful for the gorgeous cold frosty day. The sun glittering on the ice turned the world into a shimmering rainbow of colors. I am so grateful for the beautiful world that God gave us to enjoy and care for.
Day 22 - I am thankful for the little 3 year old boy who calls me Noni. My grandson is the spitting image of his father and as I spend time with him it takes me back 25 years.
Day 23 - Thankful today for the chance to rest and renew ...
Day 24 - This morning I am thankful for the wonderful blessing of having a washer and dryer. When you are awakened at 5:00 because the dog has just thrown up on you, it gives you a new and deep appreciation of those common appliances
Day 25 - I am thankful for God's love which sustains me, comforts me and transforms me.
Day 26 - I am grateful for the way that God continually brings restoration in my life. The things that Satan stole and meant to destroy me with, God uses to build something strong and beautiful.
Day 27 - Today I am thankful for my home. A quiet haven in the midst of the storm.
Day 28 - Spending a quiet day at home reflecting and thinking. I have much to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for the chance to quiet myself enough to remember and give thanks
Day 29 - I am thankful for friends who are still working to get my pellet stove working and have not given up yet.
Day 30 - I am thankful for God’s love which is showered out on me in so many ways, through family, friends and even pets. Thank you for love!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Struggling and Learning
I have been struggling this past week with a sense of sadness. There are all kinds of reasons ... my past history with Thanksgiving week, my inability to get my new pellet stove working correctly, the cold and congestion I have been fighting for several weeks, and even spending Thanksgiving alone has all contributed to this. Recognizing that there are multiple reasons why I am feeling the way I am feeling reminds me that there is no easy fix.
So I am spending the day resting and letting my body hopefully recuperate I will continue to search my heart as I remember the past and let God continue to bring healing to the wounded places that are left. I will also tackle the issue of my pellet stove in a couple of days, realizing that if I need to I can hire a professional to tell us what is wrong.
So I find myself at the point of once again, allowing myself to "feel the feelings". I will allow them to teach me things I need to learn and keep pointing me to grace and freedom.
There are good things ahead ....
So I am spending the day resting and letting my body hopefully recuperate I will continue to search my heart as I remember the past and let God continue to bring healing to the wounded places that are left. I will also tackle the issue of my pellet stove in a couple of days, realizing that if I need to I can hire a professional to tell us what is wrong.
So I find myself at the point of once again, allowing myself to "feel the feelings". I will allow them to teach me things I need to learn and keep pointing me to grace and freedom.
There are good things ahead ....
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thanksgiving 2013
Growing up I often felt like I did not fit in. That is not different from most teens, but the reality is that I really did not fit in. I was a country girl in an inner city school. I had fun in school but I did not form close friendships. Instead I knew most everybody and was friendly but not friends.
As an adult I have been surprised at how often I feel that feeling. Sometimes it is my gender, sometimes my profession and sometimes I am not sure what it is that keeps me from really fitting in with those around me.
One of the places I so often feel out place in, is within my own extended family. I do not doubt their love for me. It is just that I do not fit into family gatherings and life. I have a feeling that some of it is personalities, some of it my life style and probably the fact that I do not often have the time to be with them. I also realize that there are issues growing out of my divorce which still causes discomfort and a lack of trust. I do not like it, but it is there.
With all of that being said, I did not spend Thanksgiving with them today. I spent it at home with the dogs quietly reflecting on all I am thankful for. And I realize that in spite of the difficulties I am thankful for my family. For their love of life and their love of me. I am fortunate in the wonderful upbringing I had and for the way my family draws together for celebrations.
I am thankful for my family and thankful that love is not determined by comfort. They love me and I love them.
Just Connie
As an adult I have been surprised at how often I feel that feeling. Sometimes it is my gender, sometimes my profession and sometimes I am not sure what it is that keeps me from really fitting in with those around me.
One of the places I so often feel out place in, is within my own extended family. I do not doubt their love for me. It is just that I do not fit into family gatherings and life. I have a feeling that some of it is personalities, some of it my life style and probably the fact that I do not often have the time to be with them. I also realize that there are issues growing out of my divorce which still causes discomfort and a lack of trust. I do not like it, but it is there.
With all of that being said, I did not spend Thanksgiving with them today. I spent it at home with the dogs quietly reflecting on all I am thankful for. And I realize that in spite of the difficulties I am thankful for my family. For their love of life and their love of me. I am fortunate in the wonderful upbringing I had and for the way my family draws together for celebrations.
I am thankful for my family and thankful that love is not determined by comfort. They love me and I love them.
Just Connie
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Restoration
Over 25 years ago God began to intertwine my life with the lives of another family. Our two families did everything together. We laughed together, cried together and played together. Those relationships were vitally important to me and to my well-being.
When my husband left, it was a heart rending break in our relationship. For 15 years we had no contact. I not only did not seek information about them, I avoided it because it was so incredibly painful to me. Two years ago, God brought our paths together through Facebook. Little by little we have spent time together, learning about the years apart and getting to know each other again. It has been good to have that gaping wound in my heart healed.
Several weeks ago I was surprised and blessed to see my dear friends when they showed up to surprise me at a church service. We were able to spend several hours together, laughing and talking, talking, talking. It felt so good and so right to have them here.
Just moments ago I got a message from them that they had accepted a call to a church in Grand Ronde ... Grand Ronde! That is minutes away from me! They are going to be here ... in my area ... with me!
I am excited, I am blessed, but I am also struck by a sense of how God continues to restore what Satan had robbed me of. This friendship that is so important to me, has been given back ... given in a way that we will have frequent contact with each other.
I am already planning the things I want to do ... the places I want to show them. There is so much here and just so much I want to share with them. Just so much .....
I think ... I think they need to take up backpacking!
Just Connie
When my husband left, it was a heart rending break in our relationship. For 15 years we had no contact. I not only did not seek information about them, I avoided it because it was so incredibly painful to me. Two years ago, God brought our paths together through Facebook. Little by little we have spent time together, learning about the years apart and getting to know each other again. It has been good to have that gaping wound in my heart healed.
Several weeks ago I was surprised and blessed to see my dear friends when they showed up to surprise me at a church service. We were able to spend several hours together, laughing and talking, talking, talking. It felt so good and so right to have them here.
Just moments ago I got a message from them that they had accepted a call to a church in Grand Ronde ... Grand Ronde! That is minutes away from me! They are going to be here ... in my area ... with me!
I am excited, I am blessed, but I am also struck by a sense of how God continues to restore what Satan had robbed me of. This friendship that is so important to me, has been given back ... given in a way that we will have frequent contact with each other.
I am already planning the things I want to do ... the places I want to show them. There is so much here and just so much I want to share with them. Just so much .....
I think ... I think they need to take up backpacking!
Just Connie
Monday, November 25, 2013
This is Not Forever
There are so many reasons why God never wanted us to incorporate divorce into our marriages. But yet He knew that when sin enters in and the covenant between husband and wife is broken, sometimes there is no choice. But still it was never what God dreamed for us as husband and wife.
I am often reminded of how incredibly painful divorce is, but never so keenly as around the holidays. First of all, both of my marriages blew up around the holidays. In fact 15 years ago today I was handed a letter and then my husband sailed off to his brand new life. But secondly, the issue of children and celebrating the holidays becomes incredibly messy. Somehow over the years my husband seemed to gain custody of all holidays. I have worked hard to be a good sport and just let the kids do what they want to do. It seems counter productive to manipulate or pressure them into spending time with me when they would rather be somewhere else. But I am finding that some years it is more painful than others.
I have worked hard to try to not sit and mope on the holidays. I strive to make sure that I invite myself to someone's house or go and spend it with my family when I can. Some years it just does not seem to work out that way. It looks like this year is going to be one of those kind of years ... and to be honest that makes me incredibly sad. Sad that I am alone, sad that the kids are not with me, sad that I am not with my family .... just sad.
I am aware that this is not a "forever" feeling. The sadness will pass and life will go on. And I also think there are things I can learn right here at this point of sadness. I am willing to find the lesson in this.
I just wish it was not quite so painful ....
Just Connie
I am often reminded of how incredibly painful divorce is, but never so keenly as around the holidays. First of all, both of my marriages blew up around the holidays. In fact 15 years ago today I was handed a letter and then my husband sailed off to his brand new life. But secondly, the issue of children and celebrating the holidays becomes incredibly messy. Somehow over the years my husband seemed to gain custody of all holidays. I have worked hard to be a good sport and just let the kids do what they want to do. It seems counter productive to manipulate or pressure them into spending time with me when they would rather be somewhere else. But I am finding that some years it is more painful than others.
I have worked hard to try to not sit and mope on the holidays. I strive to make sure that I invite myself to someone's house or go and spend it with my family when I can. Some years it just does not seem to work out that way. It looks like this year is going to be one of those kind of years ... and to be honest that makes me incredibly sad. Sad that I am alone, sad that the kids are not with me, sad that I am not with my family .... just sad.
I am aware that this is not a "forever" feeling. The sadness will pass and life will go on. And I also think there are things I can learn right here at this point of sadness. I am willing to find the lesson in this.
I just wish it was not quite so painful ....
Just Connie
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Wake Up Call
It was 5:00am when I heard the sound that every pet owner dreads ... the sound of a dog throwing up. The sound actually registered seconds too late as I realized that the dog had just thrown up all over me. Every dog in the world tries to find a quiet corner to get sick in, but not my dog. My dog wants her mommy when she is sick. Which explained why I was laying in bed covered in dog barf and trying to not get sick myself.
However, I got out of bed in record time and stripped myself naked and drug the dog outside. Then I showered and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. Then ... I got to go and strip the bed and begin the long disgusting process of washing the bedding, the two comforters and everything else.
Since then I have had a long talk with the dog about the inadvisability of barfing on her meal ticket. She has not seemed very impressed so far. I am thinking that perhaps I would rather invite a passing coyote or a pack of wolves to come and sleep with me instead. It surely could not be worse than this?
Could it ....?
Just Connie
However, I got out of bed in record time and stripped myself naked and drug the dog outside. Then I showered and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. Then ... I got to go and strip the bed and begin the long disgusting process of washing the bedding, the two comforters and everything else.
Since then I have had a long talk with the dog about the inadvisability of barfing on her meal ticket. She has not seemed very impressed so far. I am thinking that perhaps I would rather invite a passing coyote or a pack of wolves to come and sleep with me instead. It surely could not be worse than this?
Could it ....?
Just Connie
Saturday, November 23, 2013
War
My first inkling of a problem was the howling and growling. Rolling over to look at the clock I realized that it was 2:30 in the morning and there was war going on in my backyard. Jumping out of bed I ran to the patio to join my son who was yelling. and trying to find his dog.
The quick story was that he let his dog out and there were raccoons on the patio ... and the war was on. Over the next 5 minutes we tried to get the dog out from under the deck. But finally he brought in his snarling growling bloody dog.
And then the work began. I grabbed towels and began the long process of trying to determine what was the dog's blood and what was raccoon blood. But finally things had been cleaned enough to determine that she had puncture wounds in her ears, her neck and her snout. The blood on her legs and body had no wounds and my guess was that it was raccoon blood. As I cleaned the wounds, I also tried to calm down my son who was ready to go and hunt down the raccoons.
The ending was that the dog is going to be okay, the raccoons are gone for now and I discovered it is very hard to go back to sleep after a raccoon war and middle of the night triage.
I am thinking a nap is sounding pretty good today ....
Just Connie
The quick story was that he let his dog out and there were raccoons on the patio ... and the war was on. Over the next 5 minutes we tried to get the dog out from under the deck. But finally he brought in his snarling growling bloody dog.
And then the work began. I grabbed towels and began the long process of trying to determine what was the dog's blood and what was raccoon blood. But finally things had been cleaned enough to determine that she had puncture wounds in her ears, her neck and her snout. The blood on her legs and body had no wounds and my guess was that it was raccoon blood. As I cleaned the wounds, I also tried to calm down my son who was ready to go and hunt down the raccoons.
The ending was that the dog is going to be okay, the raccoons are gone for now and I discovered it is very hard to go back to sleep after a raccoon war and middle of the night triage.
I am thinking a nap is sounding pretty good today ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Surprise!
I was working at my office at the church when a helpful person came and pointed out to me that our recycling bin was sitting across the street and our recycling day was not until next week. Knowing that it would be in the way where it was, I decided to go out and move it. Being a cold blustery day and me a native Oregonian, I of course did not put a coat on and ran out in the wind and the cold to take care of it.
Of course the recycling bin is about the same size that I am and as usual was over-full. I began to take it back across the street to the back of the church when I stopped for a dump truck going by, I was surprised and blessed when he stopped for me to cross the street. I was further surprised when half way across the street, the wind caught the bin which then flipped on it's side. Papers and cardboard spilled out across the street. Looking at the mess, I immediately realized that this was not going to be a quick or easy fix. Further realizing that I was holding up the driver and the dump truck I waved him to try to go around me.
As I stood there with papers spilling out across my feet, I suddenly had this picture of what it must look like. Papers flying the wind, hair whipping, shivering, wrestling this monster recycling bin, with the driver just shaking his head in amazement. That was when the giggles began.
Laughing, I began trying to push the paper to the side so the truck could get past me as I tried to drag my hair out of my face so I could see what I was doing. I suddenly realized the dump truck had stopped in the middle of the street and the driver was getting out. As he walked up, "He said, "Looks like you need some help". I laughed and thanked him as together we began to pick everything up.
In a few minutes we had the mess cleaned up and he had taken the bin back to the church for me. As I waved goodbye to my new friend, I was still laughing and somehow it did not seem quite so cold and stormy anymore.
I have a feeling that this was one of those God meetings. It is not how I would have imagined things happening. But don't you love it when God's plan comes together.
But do I always have to be the comic relief .....
Just Connie
Of course the recycling bin is about the same size that I am and as usual was over-full. I began to take it back across the street to the back of the church when I stopped for a dump truck going by, I was surprised and blessed when he stopped for me to cross the street. I was further surprised when half way across the street, the wind caught the bin which then flipped on it's side. Papers and cardboard spilled out across the street. Looking at the mess, I immediately realized that this was not going to be a quick or easy fix. Further realizing that I was holding up the driver and the dump truck I waved him to try to go around me.
As I stood there with papers spilling out across my feet, I suddenly had this picture of what it must look like. Papers flying the wind, hair whipping, shivering, wrestling this monster recycling bin, with the driver just shaking his head in amazement. That was when the giggles began.
Laughing, I began trying to push the paper to the side so the truck could get past me as I tried to drag my hair out of my face so I could see what I was doing. I suddenly realized the dump truck had stopped in the middle of the street and the driver was getting out. As he walked up, "He said, "Looks like you need some help". I laughed and thanked him as together we began to pick everything up.
In a few minutes we had the mess cleaned up and he had taken the bin back to the church for me. As I waved goodbye to my new friend, I was still laughing and somehow it did not seem quite so cold and stormy anymore.
I have a feeling that this was one of those God meetings. It is not how I would have imagined things happening. But don't you love it when God's plan comes together.
But do I always have to be the comic relief .....
Just Connie
Classes
For the last 4 weeks I have been in a series of classes with FEMA and CERT. CERT stands for Community Emergency Response Teams. Basically they are training us to take care of ourselves in the event of a local catastrophe.
The classes have been challenging, eye opening and at times downright scary. I think the two that have really grabbed me, was the Hazardous Materials and the 2 weeks of Triage. The Haz Mat was hard because you really do not think about how many horrible substances are out there. Some on purpose and some by accident. The training films are enough to give you nightmares. But it is all good information.
These last two weeks have been teaching us Triage in mass casualty situations. Last night we practiced what we had been learning. Set around the classroom was slips of paper with a very basic description of the patient, of the visible wounds, respiration, capillary refill and response. You had to sort them into 4 groups. Minor (green) Delayed (Yellow) Immediate (Red) and Deceased (Black). The wounds of course were horrifying but I think it was having to make a decision so quickly and having to move on. The worst was declaring the 6 month old baby dead. It really brings it all home.
So why am I taking the time to do all of this? Well, we live in an isolated area and I know that in a major crisis there is will only be us to help. When the major Subduction Zone earthquake hits that they have been warning us about, I want my community to be able to survive. Also what better way to help people in crisis that to prepare to help them when the world turns upside down?
So over the next four weeks, I will be trained in search and rescue and other things that I will need to know. I will learn everything I can, so I can help in meaningful ways.
And then I will pray that I never have to use this training ....
Just Connie
The classes have been challenging, eye opening and at times downright scary. I think the two that have really grabbed me, was the Hazardous Materials and the 2 weeks of Triage. The Haz Mat was hard because you really do not think about how many horrible substances are out there. Some on purpose and some by accident. The training films are enough to give you nightmares. But it is all good information.
These last two weeks have been teaching us Triage in mass casualty situations. Last night we practiced what we had been learning. Set around the classroom was slips of paper with a very basic description of the patient, of the visible wounds, respiration, capillary refill and response. You had to sort them into 4 groups. Minor (green) Delayed (Yellow) Immediate (Red) and Deceased (Black). The wounds of course were horrifying but I think it was having to make a decision so quickly and having to move on. The worst was declaring the 6 month old baby dead. It really brings it all home.
So why am I taking the time to do all of this? Well, we live in an isolated area and I know that in a major crisis there is will only be us to help. When the major Subduction Zone earthquake hits that they have been warning us about, I want my community to be able to survive. Also what better way to help people in crisis that to prepare to help them when the world turns upside down?
So over the next four weeks, I will be trained in search and rescue and other things that I will need to know. I will learn everything I can, so I can help in meaningful ways.
And then I will pray that I never have to use this training ....
Just Connie
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Thinking ...
The word friendship can seem rather subjective and hard to define. Kind of like fine Art, "I know what I like". I know when friendship is really there. It brings joy to my heart and a spring to my step.
I realize that as an extrovert I need people to thrive. But there have been times when I did not have the joy of friendships and people to bolster me. For many years my husband's struggle with alcohol isolated me from family and friends. Over the past 5 years I have been slowly rebuilding past friendships and investing in new ones. I have to admit that it has been scary, painful and a blessing to do so.
But I am finding that friendship is worth it. To be invested in the lives of those around me is really a precious gift. It helps me thrive and grow. It also reminds me that I do not stand alone. I have people to watch my back and hold me up when I falter. People that will remind me that God loves me.
A week ago I had friends drop into our church service. I was so stunned to see them and it filled my heart with such joy to have them with me. I found that joy went with me throughout the week as I thought of their surprise visit.
As I have reflected on that visit and the joy it brought me, it fills me with the desire to bring that same joy to other people. I want my friendship to fill hearts with joy that lasts and sustains them. I have a feeling that will take some more thought .....
I am thinking .....
Just Connie
I realize that as an extrovert I need people to thrive. But there have been times when I did not have the joy of friendships and people to bolster me. For many years my husband's struggle with alcohol isolated me from family and friends. Over the past 5 years I have been slowly rebuilding past friendships and investing in new ones. I have to admit that it has been scary, painful and a blessing to do so.
But I am finding that friendship is worth it. To be invested in the lives of those around me is really a precious gift. It helps me thrive and grow. It also reminds me that I do not stand alone. I have people to watch my back and hold me up when I falter. People that will remind me that God loves me.
A week ago I had friends drop into our church service. I was so stunned to see them and it filled my heart with such joy to have them with me. I found that joy went with me throughout the week as I thought of their surprise visit.
As I have reflected on that visit and the joy it brought me, it fills me with the desire to bring that same joy to other people. I want my friendship to fill hearts with joy that lasts and sustains them. I have a feeling that will take some more thought .....
I am thinking .....
Just Connie
Saturday, November 16, 2013
What Was I Thinking
I have been eagerly awaiting my order from Amazon.com. I finally ordered a jewelry armoire to contain the mess I have with my jewelry. It seemed to have everything I needed and the dimensions were right. Yesterday I heard the FED EX truck pull into the driveway and by the time I got to the door the driver was jumping in his truck and leaving. And that is when I saw the box. The armoire which should stand 4 feet tall was in a box about a foot and a half tall. And that is when the thought ran through my mind that perhaps this was not such a good idea.
But I drug the very heavy box in the house and began to cut the packaging away. Squaring my shoulders I pulled out the assembly instructions and began to check off the parts they said should be in the box. And that was the first oh no. There were 6 different size and types of screws and none of them were marked. You had to determine which was which yourself. So after 40 minutes of counting screws and comparing the shape of the head to very poor drawings. I finally had each of them in separate piles and tentatively labeled.
Pulling out my tool box I grabbed my screwdrivers and began to work my way through the instructions. The first few steps went very smoothly which lulled me into a false sense of security. It was on the third step that I began to think that I was totally out of my depth. It was just three little screws that had to be screwed in from the bottom. Which meant that the holes had to be lined up ... just right. Only there was no way to know where the holes were. I worked for about half an hour until my frustration was at a breaking point and then walked away from it. After about 15 minutes I went back and tried again and incredibly one of the holes matched up. Over the next 45 minutes I finally got the other two screw in. Resting my head on the pieces I offered up a quick prayer and moved on to the next piece.
After working on it steadily for an hour I finally put the last piece together and stood back to take a look. It was beautiful and I could not wait to put it in its special spot. That is when the next problem presented. It was really too heavy and too awkward for me to pick up and move. After trying to pick it up several times I sat on the floor in front of it and glared at it for a while. Looking at the cardboard strewn around me, I threw a large piece in front of the armoire and slowly crab walked it onto the cardboard.
Little by little I tugged the armoire into its spot and crab walked it back off the cardboard. Then I began picking of the packaging, cardboard and hundreds of small Styrofoam pieces. It was done and it only took me three hours. Three hours ....
What was I thinking?
Just Connie
But I drug the very heavy box in the house and began to cut the packaging away. Squaring my shoulders I pulled out the assembly instructions and began to check off the parts they said should be in the box. And that was the first oh no. There were 6 different size and types of screws and none of them were marked. You had to determine which was which yourself. So after 40 minutes of counting screws and comparing the shape of the head to very poor drawings. I finally had each of them in separate piles and tentatively labeled.
Pulling out my tool box I grabbed my screwdrivers and began to work my way through the instructions. The first few steps went very smoothly which lulled me into a false sense of security. It was on the third step that I began to think that I was totally out of my depth. It was just three little screws that had to be screwed in from the bottom. Which meant that the holes had to be lined up ... just right. Only there was no way to know where the holes were. I worked for about half an hour until my frustration was at a breaking point and then walked away from it. After about 15 minutes I went back and tried again and incredibly one of the holes matched up. Over the next 45 minutes I finally got the other two screw in. Resting my head on the pieces I offered up a quick prayer and moved on to the next piece.
After working on it steadily for an hour I finally put the last piece together and stood back to take a look. It was beautiful and I could not wait to put it in its special spot. That is when the next problem presented. It was really too heavy and too awkward for me to pick up and move. After trying to pick it up several times I sat on the floor in front of it and glared at it for a while. Looking at the cardboard strewn around me, I threw a large piece in front of the armoire and slowly crab walked it onto the cardboard.
Little by little I tugged the armoire into its spot and crab walked it back off the cardboard. Then I began picking of the packaging, cardboard and hundreds of small Styrofoam pieces. It was done and it only took me three hours. Three hours ....
What was I thinking?
Just Connie
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Coughing
After an increasing cough for the last two weeks, I finally broke down and called the doctor. To be honest I was hoping that he would say, "No I do not need to see you." However that was not the case, so in I went.
After listening, poking and prodding he determined that there was no infection (I did not think there was) and my lungs sounded good. On the flip side he wanted to aggressively treat the cough so there would be much less chance of an infection developing. So I came home with 4 new meds to try out.
I have to admit that I am coughing less than I was which is a good feeling. The not so good feeling is the groggy yucky feeling I get from all the meds. But I think the trade off is probably worth it for me. I do not want to end up where I was last year.
So for a change I will be good and do what the doctor tells me. I even came home and slept the meds off this afternoon.
I wonder how long this good behavior can last ....
After listening, poking and prodding he determined that there was no infection (I did not think there was) and my lungs sounded good. On the flip side he wanted to aggressively treat the cough so there would be much less chance of an infection developing. So I came home with 4 new meds to try out.
I have to admit that I am coughing less than I was which is a good feeling. The not so good feeling is the groggy yucky feeling I get from all the meds. But I think the trade off is probably worth it for me. I do not want to end up where I was last year.
So for a change I will be good and do what the doctor tells me. I even came home and slept the meds off this afternoon.
I wonder how long this good behavior can last ....
Friday, November 8, 2013
The Good Life
Art Tour ... it means tourism and people for Willamina. For the church it means extra finances for some of our ministry groups. For me it means running around for 8-10 hours a day.
My day began with breakfast with my Friday morning group. We laughed and chatted as we shared our week's happenings. Of course I had to share the latest mouse story which brought the owner of the Restaurant in to see what we were laughing about and that just made everyone laugh harder.
From there I headed to the Fire Hall to see how they were coping with the artists and changes for the Art Tour. I stayed and chatted with the staff and then made the round with the artists. When I had made the rounds I headed over to the church to see how things were going there. Everyone was well and happy and ready for the tourists. And even better we had baby bunnies at the church. So between helping out I had to sit and play with the bunnies. I kept telling myself that Bubba Bunny really did not need a playmate.
By 11:00 I was down at the Campus to see how things were going there. Then a quick tea date with a friend and then it was time to report to the Chamber of Commerce Tea Room to work. And that is where I spent the next 4 hours, serving tea, clearing tables, washing dishes and cashiering.
By 5:00 I was more than ready to head home and put my feet up. And that is where I still am. Tomorrow will be more of the same. But I am grateful for the chance to serve. Serve at the church and the Tea Room. More and more I think this is what the good life is really all about .... serving.
I think I am ready for the good life ....
Just Connie
My day began with breakfast with my Friday morning group. We laughed and chatted as we shared our week's happenings. Of course I had to share the latest mouse story which brought the owner of the Restaurant in to see what we were laughing about and that just made everyone laugh harder.
From there I headed to the Fire Hall to see how they were coping with the artists and changes for the Art Tour. I stayed and chatted with the staff and then made the round with the artists. When I had made the rounds I headed over to the church to see how things were going there. Everyone was well and happy and ready for the tourists. And even better we had baby bunnies at the church. So between helping out I had to sit and play with the bunnies. I kept telling myself that Bubba Bunny really did not need a playmate.
By 11:00 I was down at the Campus to see how things were going there. Then a quick tea date with a friend and then it was time to report to the Chamber of Commerce Tea Room to work. And that is where I spent the next 4 hours, serving tea, clearing tables, washing dishes and cashiering.
By 5:00 I was more than ready to head home and put my feet up. And that is where I still am. Tomorrow will be more of the same. But I am grateful for the chance to serve. Serve at the church and the Tea Room. More and more I think this is what the good life is really all about .... serving.
I think I am ready for the good life ....
Just Connie
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Mouse Saga
Stepping out of the shower I reached for my towel and that is when "IT" happened ..... a small gray mouse ran over my hand. And that was the moment when my body was hijacked by a shrieking screaming woman. Finding myself naked on top of the half wall that runs around the bathtub, I lunged for a robe as I heard my son burst out of his room. Barely covering myself as he shouldered the door open, he leapt into the room with his guns drawn as he scanned for the axe murderer he was sure was after me. Straightening up he looked me in the eye and said, "Do not tell me .... no ... you would not have been shrieking because you saw a mouse? And how in the world did you get up there?"
I informed him sternly that the mouse had touched me ... it ran over my hand and was getting ready to leap up and grab me by the throat when my quick responses kept it from being able to kill me. He looked at me with disgust as if alien life was taking me over. About the time I was trying to climb down off the wall with as much dignity as I could muster (being only partially clothed at 6:00 in the morning) my son's dog burst into the room to save me. And that is when the mouse broke from cover. Picture this ... my son and his guns, me perched and partially dressed on the wall yelling and a 75 pound dog that is over tuning everything in the room in her quest to get the mouse.
The good news is that the dog got the mouse, the bad news is that now everything in the bathroom cupboards will have to come out and be washed and scrubbed. The even worse news is that my son would not remove the dead mouse and I actually had to do it.
I swear ... I should advertise for a new son ....
Just Connie
I informed him sternly that the mouse had touched me ... it ran over my hand and was getting ready to leap up and grab me by the throat when my quick responses kept it from being able to kill me. He looked at me with disgust as if alien life was taking me over. About the time I was trying to climb down off the wall with as much dignity as I could muster (being only partially clothed at 6:00 in the morning) my son's dog burst into the room to save me. And that is when the mouse broke from cover. Picture this ... my son and his guns, me perched and partially dressed on the wall yelling and a 75 pound dog that is over tuning everything in the room in her quest to get the mouse.
The good news is that the dog got the mouse, the bad news is that now everything in the bathroom cupboards will have to come out and be washed and scrubbed. The even worse news is that my son would not remove the dead mouse and I actually had to do it.
I swear ... I should advertise for a new son ....
Just Connie
Monday, November 4, 2013
Back in School
Last month I made a big commitment and signed up for CERT classes. That is Community Emergency Response Team, They are classes that are designed to teach the community how to take care of ourselves in case of emergency. I knew that it was a big commitment for me since it was 8 weeks of 3 hour classes. But I decided that it was important enough to take the time for training.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that not only was it the required classroom time, it also required FEMA online courses. But I decided to see it through and get it done. Friday I took my first FEMA final and was thrilled when I passed. Today I took my second FEMA final. I was doing a happy dance when I got the e-mail telling me that I had passed. I am hoping to take my next class sometime this week and get that component taken care of.
Being back in classes has been interesting. It has been long time since I was taking finals. I was a bit surprised at how nervous I got as I prepared for it. I think it has been good for me. Not only for the knowledge that I am gaining but for the way I can feel it stretching me out of my comfort zone.
So I will continue to buckle down and wade through the classes and see where the path will lead me. I have this underlying feeling that it is important.
Time will tell ....
Imagine my surprise when I found out that not only was it the required classroom time, it also required FEMA online courses. But I decided to see it through and get it done. Friday I took my first FEMA final and was thrilled when I passed. Today I took my second FEMA final. I was doing a happy dance when I got the e-mail telling me that I had passed. I am hoping to take my next class sometime this week and get that component taken care of.
Being back in classes has been interesting. It has been long time since I was taking finals. I was a bit surprised at how nervous I got as I prepared for it. I think it has been good for me. Not only for the knowledge that I am gaining but for the way I can feel it stretching me out of my comfort zone.
So I will continue to buckle down and wade through the classes and see where the path will lead me. I have this underlying feeling that it is important.
Time will tell ....
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Good Intentions
Today I went and did something fun. I have to admit that a big part of me just wanted to stay home and do nothing, but I rouse3d myself out of bed and headed out with them.
It was good to be out with the ladies and good to just relax. I am glad that I pushed myself a little to go and be part of the group. I do not get many opportunities to "not lead" but instead to be a part of the group. And I think it is healthy.
I have a feeling it is one of the things that often gets pushed out when life gets busy. I am hoping to carve out a little more personal time. But to be honest I know that it is not going to happen this week since Art Tour begins on Friday. And of course my FEMA and CERT classes continue and so on and so forth.
So though my intentions are good, I am thinking that this week will be very full and busy. So I guess that it is actually rather normal.
How did this become my norm ...
Just Connie
It was good to be out with the ladies and good to just relax. I am glad that I pushed myself a little to go and be part of the group. I do not get many opportunities to "not lead" but instead to be a part of the group. And I think it is healthy.
I have a feeling it is one of the things that often gets pushed out when life gets busy. I am hoping to carve out a little more personal time. But to be honest I know that it is not going to happen this week since Art Tour begins on Friday. And of course my FEMA and CERT classes continue and so on and so forth.
So though my intentions are good, I am thinking that this week will be very full and busy. So I guess that it is actually rather normal.
How did this become my norm ...
Just Connie
Friday, November 1, 2013
Harvest Carnival 2013
For the last two weeks we have been gearing up for one of our biggest events of the year. Our annual Harvest carnival. We typically have between 300-500 people come through for games, food and a whole lot of fun.
Yesterday was the big day and when the doors were opened at 5:00 there were people lined up waiting. Over the next 2 hours about 400 people came through the church. It is always such a blessing to me to see so many happy, laughing filling the church.
It is an amazing amount of work but it brings amazing and unexpected dividends. It brings people into the church who normally would never come. It builds relationships as the walls of the church are removed to minister to the community. It reminds us that real ministry happens when we take the walls down.
I am thankful for last night. For the hard work, for the blessings and for all of the people who sacrificed to make it happen.
And I am glad that for now it is done ....
Just Connie
Yesterday was the big day and when the doors were opened at 5:00 there were people lined up waiting. Over the next 2 hours about 400 people came through the church. It is always such a blessing to me to see so many happy, laughing filling the church.
It is an amazing amount of work but it brings amazing and unexpected dividends. It brings people into the church who normally would never come. It builds relationships as the walls of the church are removed to minister to the community. It reminds us that real ministry happens when we take the walls down.
I am thankful for last night. For the hard work, for the blessings and for all of the people who sacrificed to make it happen.
And I am glad that for now it is done ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Best Job
I am slowly beginning to get things back in order after two weeks of playing up on the roof. Today has been one meeting after another and tomorrow does not look much better. In fact yesterday looked a lot like this as well.
Weeks like this can get fairly tense for me when I am juggling a lot of meetings and a lot of deadlines but I still have to say that I have the best job in the world. I feel very fortunate to do what I do. I am also blessed with a congregation who also believes that I need to be out in the community. That is a very healthy perspective and means that we are building bridges out in the community. It also means that my days are filled with many and varied things.
For instance this morning began with an early morning Chamber of Commerce meeting. From there I headed to the fire Hall where I was part of a webinar on community health initiatives and then part of a lively discussion about what we could do locally. From the Fire Hall I headed back to the church to meet with my associate pastor and eat a quick lunch, followed up for the search for the carnival Banner that needs to be hung. By the time that was wrapping up, I had gotten a call for a food box so I ran over to the food pantry and took care of that. Then I had a series of drop in visitors. Now it is time for me to head over to the west Valley Community Campus for the Board of Directors meeting. By the time that is finished it will be 6:30 and time for me to think about dinner and head home.
I love that my work day is never the same from one day to the next and it is full of life and people and usually plenty of laughter.
I really do have the best job in the world ....
Just Connie
Weeks like this can get fairly tense for me when I am juggling a lot of meetings and a lot of deadlines but I still have to say that I have the best job in the world. I feel very fortunate to do what I do. I am also blessed with a congregation who also believes that I need to be out in the community. That is a very healthy perspective and means that we are building bridges out in the community. It also means that my days are filled with many and varied things.
For instance this morning began with an early morning Chamber of Commerce meeting. From there I headed to the fire Hall where I was part of a webinar on community health initiatives and then part of a lively discussion about what we could do locally. From the Fire Hall I headed back to the church to meet with my associate pastor and eat a quick lunch, followed up for the search for the carnival Banner that needs to be hung. By the time that was wrapping up, I had gotten a call for a food box so I ran over to the food pantry and took care of that. Then I had a series of drop in visitors. Now it is time for me to head over to the west Valley Community Campus for the Board of Directors meeting. By the time that is finished it will be 6:30 and time for me to think about dinner and head home.
I love that my work day is never the same from one day to the next and it is full of life and people and usually plenty of laughter.
I really do have the best job in the world ....
Just Connie
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Project Completed!
Finally after 31 hours of back breaking labor by 25 volunteers our part of the roof is done. I am sore, tired, dirty and feeling pretty satisfied with things at this point.
I have to admit that I really like these opportunities to serve the community in ways that get me out from behind my desk. I could not have asked for better weather or better company to make it all happen.
The biggest problem we faced was when I found myself suddenly falling through the rotten roof. I was very fortunate that one of my volunteers grabbed my arm and held on for dear life because I do not think anything would have stopped me until I hit the floor. The hard part was that the roof was so rotten that they could not get close enough to pull me out. I was afraid that we were all going to go plummeting through. But little by little they eased me out and we slowly crawled out of there.
I am grateful for others who are willing to work hard to help someone else. It blesses me and encourages me to continue to serve. I think it is always the right choice.
Let's see .... what will I do next.
Just Connie
I have to admit that I really like these opportunities to serve the community in ways that get me out from behind my desk. I could not have asked for better weather or better company to make it all happen.
The biggest problem we faced was when I found myself suddenly falling through the rotten roof. I was very fortunate that one of my volunteers grabbed my arm and held on for dear life because I do not think anything would have stopped me until I hit the floor. The hard part was that the roof was so rotten that they could not get close enough to pull me out. I was afraid that we were all going to go plummeting through. But little by little they eased me out and we slowly crawled out of there.
I am grateful for others who are willing to work hard to help someone else. It blesses me and encourages me to continue to serve. I think it is always the right choice.
Let's see .... what will I do next.
Just Connie
Monday, October 14, 2013
My Roofing Crew
I looked around at my roofing crew. There was a pastor (me) a firefighter/paramedic and a logger. I have to admit that at that point my heart rate sped up and my stomach clenched in a knot. Some how we had a lot of roof to tear off and replace in just two days.
My crew was responsible for tearing the old roofing off and replacing any rotten boards that needed it. How hard could that be right? The tear off was pretty simple, it just took hard work. But the replacing boards was ... well downright scary. First of all, the roof was incredibly rotten. So rotten that we had trouble finding safe spots to stand where we would not fall through the roof. Then there were the skylights, the vents, the dormers ... well you begin to get the picture. The other complication was that we were way short on replacement sheathing. It was on realizing that when I wondered if I could find someone else to supervise this job.
However, I began tearing off the old roofing with my crew while I contemplated what I could do to fix some of our problems. I began to send out e-mails and posting pleading for help on the job and people began to trickle in. Then I came to the realization that my logger was incredibly good with a skill saw and figuring out all of those angles and special cuts. So he was put in charge of getting the sheathing back on while the fireman and I worked to tear things off.
The three of us worked for 10 hours that day trying to get as much done as we could. Then I went home and began making phone calls. The next morning I was blessed and encouraged as a steady stream of volunteers began to come in. The school even sent a crew of kids to help with the tear off. And by the end of day 2 we had half of the house done. It was ready for the roofer to come and begin to lay the felt and the new roof down.
Now this week, we will hit the roof again and begin the tear off on the back half on the house. I really think that this part will go faster than the first half did. I am praying for less rot and I know that it will be simpler in terms of angles and extras we have to cut around. And I have two more days to recruit as many people as I can.
Though the work is hard, dirty and makes you really sore, I have enjoyed the challenge. I have also enjoyed the break in normal routine to do something a bit out of the norm. I think it makes me a healthier pastor to get out from behind my desk and work side by side with members of the community.
Though for something healthy .... it sure hurts a lot the next day.
Just Connie
My crew was responsible for tearing the old roofing off and replacing any rotten boards that needed it. How hard could that be right? The tear off was pretty simple, it just took hard work. But the replacing boards was ... well downright scary. First of all, the roof was incredibly rotten. So rotten that we had trouble finding safe spots to stand where we would not fall through the roof. Then there were the skylights, the vents, the dormers ... well you begin to get the picture. The other complication was that we were way short on replacement sheathing. It was on realizing that when I wondered if I could find someone else to supervise this job.
However, I began tearing off the old roofing with my crew while I contemplated what I could do to fix some of our problems. I began to send out e-mails and posting pleading for help on the job and people began to trickle in. Then I came to the realization that my logger was incredibly good with a skill saw and figuring out all of those angles and special cuts. So he was put in charge of getting the sheathing back on while the fireman and I worked to tear things off.
The three of us worked for 10 hours that day trying to get as much done as we could. Then I went home and began making phone calls. The next morning I was blessed and encouraged as a steady stream of volunteers began to come in. The school even sent a crew of kids to help with the tear off. And by the end of day 2 we had half of the house done. It was ready for the roofer to come and begin to lay the felt and the new roof down.
Now this week, we will hit the roof again and begin the tear off on the back half on the house. I really think that this part will go faster than the first half did. I am praying for less rot and I know that it will be simpler in terms of angles and extras we have to cut around. And I have two more days to recruit as many people as I can.
Though the work is hard, dirty and makes you really sore, I have enjoyed the challenge. I have also enjoyed the break in normal routine to do something a bit out of the norm. I think it makes me a healthier pastor to get out from behind my desk and work side by side with members of the community.
Though for something healthy .... it sure hurts a lot the next day.
Just Connie
Friday, October 11, 2013
Tired and Sore
I am tired, sore and tired some more with an extra dose of sore. I have spent the last two days working on the roof of the house. That means I am taking off old roof, hauling debris, carrying 8 foot sheets of composite sheets and climbing up and down ladders.
I hobbled in to the house tonight saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch!" While my dinner heated up I filled the tub with hot water and spent an hour just soaking my aches and pains away. Only when I got out I realized they were not gone ... just muted.
So now I have a week to lose those aches and pains before we head back on the roof to get sore all over again.
Huh ... I must be doing something wrong ....
Just Connie
I hobbled in to the house tonight saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch!" While my dinner heated up I filled the tub with hot water and spent an hour just soaking my aches and pains away. Only when I got out I realized they were not gone ... just muted.
So now I have a week to lose those aches and pains before we head back on the roof to get sore all over again.
Huh ... I must be doing something wrong ....
Just Connie
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tired Puppy
I am a tired. tired puppy tonight. I just spent the last 9 hours tearing shingles off of a house and pulling up rotten boards and replacing them.
There are always things I learn when I am part of a big work project like this. Some of the things I learned today were:
I think for tonight my body wins ... tomorrow it is back on the roof again.
Just Connie
There are always things I learn when I am part of a big work project like this. Some of the things I learned today were:
- Roofs seem to grow square footage when you start tearing shingles off.
- Every piece you try to remove will have at least 4 times the nails/staples that you expect
- Shingles give you slivers
- When you drop a rotten piece of wood though the open skylight, it explodes when it hits the ground
- My energy does not last as long as the work does.
- There will be more rot than you expect
- It is fun to work side by side with friends
I think for tonight my body wins ... tomorrow it is back on the roof again.
Just Connie
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Meetings and More Meetings
Meetings and more meetings ... one after the other today. Wednesdays are always filled with meetings but some days are just a little more packed than others.
My morning began at 7:30 and the Chamber of Commerce Meeting. Following that I ran down to the Fire Hall for the Board of Directors meeting. Immediately after that was a webinar exploring a new program we are looking at for the Fire District. I ducked out of that at 12:30 and headed to meet with one of my Associate Pastors. We wrapped that up, and I ran by the church and printed out some paperwork and then headed back to the Fire Hall for a short meeting. By the time that was completed it was time to head down to the Old Willamina High School (now the West Valley Community Campus) for the Board of Directors meeting. Leaving there at 6:00 I headed back down to the Fire Department to drop off some paperwork.
By 7:00 I was pulling into my driveway ready for some dinner and rest. I would love to say that this was an unusual day, but it is a fairly typical Wednesday. Just a little more full than normal. However, in spite of the long day and busy schedule some really important things happened. And it reminds me that the meetings are important and keeps all the projects on track.
I guess being on track is a pretty good thing to be ...
Just Connie
My morning began at 7:30 and the Chamber of Commerce Meeting. Following that I ran down to the Fire Hall for the Board of Directors meeting. Immediately after that was a webinar exploring a new program we are looking at for the Fire District. I ducked out of that at 12:30 and headed to meet with one of my Associate Pastors. We wrapped that up, and I ran by the church and printed out some paperwork and then headed back to the Fire Hall for a short meeting. By the time that was completed it was time to head down to the Old Willamina High School (now the West Valley Community Campus) for the Board of Directors meeting. Leaving there at 6:00 I headed back down to the Fire Department to drop off some paperwork.
By 7:00 I was pulling into my driveway ready for some dinner and rest. I would love to say that this was an unusual day, but it is a fairly typical Wednesday. Just a little more full than normal. However, in spite of the long day and busy schedule some really important things happened. And it reminds me that the meetings are important and keeps all the projects on track.
I guess being on track is a pretty good thing to be ...
Just Connie
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Blessed and Happy
I am swamped in paperwork! Papers, papers everywhere .... I am beginning to think that someone snuck into my office and filled my desk with papers. However, I suspicion that it is all from me. I have been frantically trying to sort through some of this mess while fielding a long string of drop in visitors today. I am hoping to have at least some of it taken care of before my noon meeting.
I have been slowly working my way through the list of phone calls, the mail and other assorted problems from my two weeks off. it is a tough enough process that I always end up wondering if it is really worth it to be gone for two weeks in a row. I think in spite of it all, it truly is worth it.
I have a lot on my plate this week. Some of the irons in the fire are Fire Department Board Meeting, Kiwanis, West Valley Ministerial Association Meeting, West Valley Community Campus Board Meeting, Chamber of Commerce, volunteering at the school and I am supposed to be heading up a group to remove the old roof from a house. Just a few small things to squeeze into a normal kind of week.
All of this reminds me that I am blessed to have a varied and eclectic schedule. I feel that it keeps me connected to people and keeps things fresh for me. I once told someone "that if it was not for meetings I would have no social life". That is actually pretty true for me, those meetings brings me into contact with a host of people who might never step foot into the church.
I am blessed and I am happy ... and I have things to do. That sounds pretty good to me ... I better get to it!
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12
Just Connie
I have been slowly working my way through the list of phone calls, the mail and other assorted problems from my two weeks off. it is a tough enough process that I always end up wondering if it is really worth it to be gone for two weeks in a row. I think in spite of it all, it truly is worth it.
I have a lot on my plate this week. Some of the irons in the fire are Fire Department Board Meeting, Kiwanis, West Valley Ministerial Association Meeting, West Valley Community Campus Board Meeting, Chamber of Commerce, volunteering at the school and I am supposed to be heading up a group to remove the old roof from a house. Just a few small things to squeeze into a normal kind of week.
All of this reminds me that I am blessed to have a varied and eclectic schedule. I feel that it keeps me connected to people and keeps things fresh for me. I once told someone "that if it was not for meetings I would have no social life". That is actually pretty true for me, those meetings brings me into contact with a host of people who might never step foot into the church.
I am blessed and I am happy ... and I have things to do. That sounds pretty good to me ... I better get to it!
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12
Just Connie
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Oh No!
I had an "Oh no" moment yesterday. Like most "Oh no" moments it was too late by then to change anything.
The sun was shining bright as the men and I headed to Aldersgate Camp Ground to cut up some downed trees. This is a job that we do frequently and I thought the exercise and camaraderie would be perfect for my second to the last day of my vacation. We worked steadily for several hours when my leather work gloves ripped out across the palm and finger. One of the men gave me his extra glove to protect my hand as I loaded log rounds into the hydraulic splitter. The glove worked for protection but had about 3 inches too much finger which cut down a bit on functionality.
Everything was going perfectly until the moment the splitter grabbed ahold of the extra material on the glove and pulled my hand down between the log and the splitter. I was able to pull most of my hand away except for one finger. And that was my "Oh no" moment. By then the guy running the splitter was hollering and trying to slam the splitter into reverse as I kept trying to pull away.
As the splitter finally began to reverse, I pulled my hand free saying "I'm fine, I'm fine." But as they drew my glove off it was apparent that though I was very fortunate and blessed that it was not worse, I had not been quite fast enough. My finger was quickly swelling and turning purple with long scrapes down both the front and the back. Laughing I pointed out, "I did not think it was broken and it was completely my fault."
So today, I have a large, extremely sore purple finger. I also have plans to get some better work gloves that fit well for the next trip with the guys. I am also reflecting on how fast things can go wrong and how blessed I truly am.
And I am thinking that blessed is a pretty good way to start the day.
Just Connie
The sun was shining bright as the men and I headed to Aldersgate Camp Ground to cut up some downed trees. This is a job that we do frequently and I thought the exercise and camaraderie would be perfect for my second to the last day of my vacation. We worked steadily for several hours when my leather work gloves ripped out across the palm and finger. One of the men gave me his extra glove to protect my hand as I loaded log rounds into the hydraulic splitter. The glove worked for protection but had about 3 inches too much finger which cut down a bit on functionality.
Everything was going perfectly until the moment the splitter grabbed ahold of the extra material on the glove and pulled my hand down between the log and the splitter. I was able to pull most of my hand away except for one finger. And that was my "Oh no" moment. By then the guy running the splitter was hollering and trying to slam the splitter into reverse as I kept trying to pull away.
As the splitter finally began to reverse, I pulled my hand free saying "I'm fine, I'm fine." But as they drew my glove off it was apparent that though I was very fortunate and blessed that it was not worse, I had not been quite fast enough. My finger was quickly swelling and turning purple with long scrapes down both the front and the back. Laughing I pointed out, "I did not think it was broken and it was completely my fault."
So today, I have a large, extremely sore purple finger. I also have plans to get some better work gloves that fit well for the next trip with the guys. I am also reflecting on how fast things can go wrong and how blessed I truly am.
"Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you." Psalm 84:4
And I am thinking that blessed is a pretty good way to start the day.
Just Connie
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
The Hunting Trip
After 8 miserable days of wind and rain, I packed up the car and headed home. I did not do any of the things I had planned to do. No hiking, no reading out in the gorgeous outdoors. It is beautiful country and I saw very little of it. To further complicate the trip, there is no phone reception and I was trying to close on the house refinance. That meant I was driving to phone reception a couple of times every day.
I have to admit that the trip had its exciting moments. My son's tent blew into the meadow when he and his dog were in it. My nephews tent had two of its poles broken. But I was finding that I was tired of being wet and cold all the time. So I came back to finish the house loan and do some relaxing here.
So now I am mostly unpacked and trying to get all the loads and loads of laundry done. This was not how I was hoping my two weeks off would play out.
Oh well ... that is life ...
Just Connie
I have to admit that the trip had its exciting moments. My son's tent blew into the meadow when he and his dog were in it. My nephews tent had two of its poles broken. But I was finding that I was tired of being wet and cold all the time. So I came back to finish the house loan and do some relaxing here.
So now I am mostly unpacked and trying to get all the loads and loads of laundry done. This was not how I was hoping my two weeks off would play out.
Oh well ... that is life ...
Just Connie
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Camping Trip
All my bags are packed and I am ready to go .... 2 weeks of vacation are staring me in the face. I have to admit that I am liking what I am seeing. I am officially ready to head to Eastern Oregon and join my family in our annual deer hunting trip.
For many years I was absent from the family trip and finally last year I joined the family once again. I really enjoyed being with the family and connecting with everyone once again.. I also made an amazing discovery ... we are no longer tent camping. We actually stay in a cabin ... with electricity and running water. It is rather amazing. I could hardly believe that they are still calling it camping to be honest. Perhaps glamping would be closer. But it was a lot of fun and I am looking forward to doing it again this year.
So early tomorrow morning I load up the car and join the caravan. There will be wonderful things ahead as I relax and restore.
Yep ... I am thinking I could get used to this feeling ...
Just Connie
For many years I was absent from the family trip and finally last year I joined the family once again. I really enjoyed being with the family and connecting with everyone once again.. I also made an amazing discovery ... we are no longer tent camping. We actually stay in a cabin ... with electricity and running water. It is rather amazing. I could hardly believe that they are still calling it camping to be honest. Perhaps glamping would be closer. But it was a lot of fun and I am looking forward to doing it again this year.
So early tomorrow morning I load up the car and join the caravan. There will be wonderful things ahead as I relax and restore.
Yep ... I am thinking I could get used to this feeling ...
Just Connie
Friday, September 20, 2013
Cabot Lake
It was a clear and beautiful day as we strapped on the packs and headed to the Lake. The girls were full of energy and I was even feeling pretty good. The dust was incredibly thick but it did not lessen our enjoyment of the beauty around us,
We hiked through burned out sections that illustrated how the land was growing back. We hiked though tall timber and then finally we reached the Lake Cabot nestled in the valley between the trees. Reaching our preferred spot along the backside of the lake, we quickly set up camp and got the fishing poles ready.
We spent the next couple of days hiking, napping and fishing. /we headed home tired, dirty and happy. It was a great vacation. next year I would like to go for a longer time. If I can carry the extra food weight.
Perhaps I can find a Sherpa ....
Just Connie
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Backpack 2013 - Night Before
It will be interesting to see how much complaining my collarbone does on the hike into the lake tomorrow. I am thinking that I am glad it is a short hike this year.
Now I just need to somehow get a good night sleep. .... I should not be so excited if that is my plan.
Time to read myself to sleep ....
Just Connie
Mud Drags 2013
I came home muddy, tired and very happy. I am so glad that I am still enjoying new adventures around every corner. I hope I never get too old to enjoy new and exciting things.
Who knows what I will get to do next?
Hmmm ... I might have to think about that for a while.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Backpacking Chaos
There is backpacking stuff spread all over the house. Since tomorrow is so busy, this is the only day I have to get my pack ready to go. So now I am in the process of laying out what I want to take. The next step is weighing things and trying to cut down as much weight as I possibly can. I always try to take too much.
I actually enjoy this part of it. I read my lists and try to make sure I have not missed anything over and over again. I think I am just about there. Just a couple of things to take out of the dryer and then everything will be ready to pack.
This is when I begin to get very excited about the trip. It all seems very real now and I am so very ready to go. So at 6:30 Sunday morning Hope Puppy and I will leave the house and begin to make our way to the Mt Jefferson Wilderness area.
I am expecting hard work, some complaining from my collarbone and the joy of being outside.
In fact when I think about it ... those are pretty good expectations ....
Just Connie
I actually enjoy this part of it. I read my lists and try to make sure I have not missed anything over and over again. I think I am just about there. Just a couple of things to take out of the dryer and then everything will be ready to pack.
This is when I begin to get very excited about the trip. It all seems very real now and I am so very ready to go. So at 6:30 Sunday morning Hope Puppy and I will leave the house and begin to make our way to the Mt Jefferson Wilderness area.
I am expecting hard work, some complaining from my collarbone and the joy of being outside.
In fact when I think about it ... those are pretty good expectations ....
Just Connie
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Collarbone Saga
The collarbone saga continues ... I am finding that the pain level has decreased and I am much more comfortable. I actually slept last night with no pain pills and did not wake up in horrible pain like I have the last couple of days.
So because I am all better :) I made a couple of decisions. First of all, I am going to ride in the mud drags on Saturday. I have been asked several times and it has never worked out and I committed to it back in July. I actually think I will have a wonderful time and I am very much looking forward to it. Secondly, I am going to continue on with my backpacking trip. Yes I think it will be uncomfortable, but it will not do damage, it is just a matter of toughing it out. I think I can do that.
So last night I drug my backpacking gear out and began to organize it and get things ready. I have not been backpacking in over a year and I have missed it. Because of my ongoing battle with the bacterial infection I also have not done much hiking and I need to get outside and let the beauty of God's world soothe and strengthen me.
So I will spend the rest of the week, sorting and packing and planning ... and of course getting excited.
I wish you could all come with me!
Just Connie
So because I am all better :) I made a couple of decisions. First of all, I am going to ride in the mud drags on Saturday. I have been asked several times and it has never worked out and I committed to it back in July. I actually think I will have a wonderful time and I am very much looking forward to it. Secondly, I am going to continue on with my backpacking trip. Yes I think it will be uncomfortable, but it will not do damage, it is just a matter of toughing it out. I think I can do that.
So last night I drug my backpacking gear out and began to organize it and get things ready. I have not been backpacking in over a year and I have missed it. Because of my ongoing battle with the bacterial infection I also have not done much hiking and I need to get outside and let the beauty of God's world soothe and strengthen me.
So I will spend the rest of the week, sorting and packing and planning ... and of course getting excited.
I wish you could all come with me!
Just Connie
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Pain and Celebration
I felt great yesterday, low levels of pain and I did not take any painkiller all day or at bed time. The flip side of that was that I woke up crying this morning. I hurt! So I drug myself to the Dr's office and started my day with a shot. I will also definitely take a painkiller at bed time tonight.
I am a little discouraged. This is not a bad break and I think I should be doing much better than this ... more like I was yesterday. Now that I read that over, that sounds pretty whiny. True ... but whiny.
So .... I will say that I am very grateful that I did not have a bad break. I am grateful that it is no worse. I am also grateful for good tools to manage the pain and inflammation so that my life is hardly impacted by this injury.
What is the worst that this injury will cause? Perhaps to not be able to ride in the mud drags on Saturday or to not go backpacking? I guess those are pretty small prices to pay if you look at in the frame of the big picture. Even though I had to cancel my vacation last spring because of the bacterial infection, this will not be my last chance to break away and take some time off. There will be other backpacking trips.
It is what it is and I just need to lay it down. God is still in control and God still loves me. There are things to celebrate right where I am. I think I would rather spend the day in celebration than in whining. I guess it is time to start.
Want to come and join the party?
Just Connie
I am a little discouraged. This is not a bad break and I think I should be doing much better than this ... more like I was yesterday. Now that I read that over, that sounds pretty whiny. True ... but whiny.
So .... I will say that I am very grateful that I did not have a bad break. I am grateful that it is no worse. I am also grateful for good tools to manage the pain and inflammation so that my life is hardly impacted by this injury.
What is the worst that this injury will cause? Perhaps to not be able to ride in the mud drags on Saturday or to not go backpacking? I guess those are pretty small prices to pay if you look at in the frame of the big picture. Even though I had to cancel my vacation last spring because of the bacterial infection, this will not be my last chance to break away and take some time off. There will be other backpacking trips.
It is what it is and I just need to lay it down. God is still in control and God still loves me. There are things to celebrate right where I am. I think I would rather spend the day in celebration than in whining. I guess it is time to start.
Want to come and join the party?
Just Connie
Monday, September 9, 2013
Life Hurts
This broken collarbone has reminded me that life hurts! I notice it more in the simple ways than the great big ways. It is reaching for something and having my collarbone scream a protest, it is driving over the railroad tracks too fast and paying the same price. It just plain hurts!
The doctor has given me painkillers, but I do not like to take them during the day, or when I am driving around, or on an empty stomach .... can you see the problem? I took half a pill at bed time last night which actually helps me sleep. But you do not really get the same quality of sleep on narcotics as you do without them. I feel groggy when I try to find the alarm clock in the morning.
I am also reminded of why I do not like narcotics ... they make me fuzzy and not in a cute little kitten kind of way. More like in a drooling, mindless mess kind of fuzzy. It is hard for me to put two coherent thoughts together when I take them. I am finding that I value my brain too much to do that to it unless I really have no option.
But all in all, I can tell that I am getting better. My pain level has dropped and I can use my arm more than I could a week ago. I am hoping that this is boding well for me to continue with my plans to go backpacking bright and early Sunday morning. It is a short backpack into a nice alpine lake in the Mt Jefferson Wilderness area. I can do that ... I can do that ...
Besides what are painkillers for?
Just Connie
The doctor has given me painkillers, but I do not like to take them during the day, or when I am driving around, or on an empty stomach .... can you see the problem? I took half a pill at bed time last night which actually helps me sleep. But you do not really get the same quality of sleep on narcotics as you do without them. I feel groggy when I try to find the alarm clock in the morning.
I am also reminded of why I do not like narcotics ... they make me fuzzy and not in a cute little kitten kind of way. More like in a drooling, mindless mess kind of fuzzy. It is hard for me to put two coherent thoughts together when I take them. I am finding that I value my brain too much to do that to it unless I really have no option.
But all in all, I can tell that I am getting better. My pain level has dropped and I can use my arm more than I could a week ago. I am hoping that this is boding well for me to continue with my plans to go backpacking bright and early Sunday morning. It is a short backpack into a nice alpine lake in the Mt Jefferson Wilderness area. I can do that ... I can do that ...
Besides what are painkillers for?
Just Connie
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Laughing
Breaking my collarbone though painful has also been entertaining. I have been offered some great alternative stories to replace my oh so very dull story of how I broke myself.
The other funny part is how people have responded to the news and what they have said. I have two favorite responses so far. The first one response; on hearing that Hope had jumped on the hammock and dumped me out said, "Oh no! Is Hope okay?" I pointed out that luckily I had cushioned Hope's fall and she was fine. The other response came from my father who has decided in the past year that I really need a man in life. His response to the news was, "If you had a boyfriend that never would have happened."
I am looking forward to what I hear next because it makes me laugh. It has really been funny and I would still be laughing if it did not hurt so much to laugh.
Can't wait to see what I hear tomorrow ....
Just Connie
The other funny part is how people have responded to the news and what they have said. I have two favorite responses so far. The first one response; on hearing that Hope had jumped on the hammock and dumped me out said, "Oh no! Is Hope okay?" I pointed out that luckily I had cushioned Hope's fall and she was fine. The other response came from my father who has decided in the past year that I really need a man in life. His response to the news was, "If you had a boyfriend that never would have happened."
I am looking forward to what I hear next because it makes me laugh. It has really been funny and I would still be laughing if it did not hurt so much to laugh.
Can't wait to see what I hear tomorrow ....
Just Connie
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