I heard someone today use the phrase "Moment in Time", That phrase has stuck with me, It has made me reflect on the snapshots of life that I have tucked away... those "Moments in Time". For instance most of those in my generation can remember in great detail what we were doing when we heard President Kennedy had been killed. I was in grade school and we were in the lunch room. I can remember the teachers crying, I remember the smell of the food ... that moment is forever frozen in time for me.
Some of those moments I have tucked away in my mind are not pleasant, some of them are joyful, some are of every day life and some are of those special moments. Some of those moments I wonder why I have filed it so carefully away. As I have pondered those moments it made me wonder about the moments other people have filed away, Do they ever take those moments out and examine them, study them ... learn from them?
Because I hope that these are not empty memories for me. I hope that these "Moments in Time" lead me to new understanding, lead me to not make the same mistakes and overall make me a better person. I also want the moments I store away in the days ahead to be snapshots of a life lived well, a life of love and faithfulness.
I think ... I have a lot of pictures left to store away.
Just Connie
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Training Meeting
So much of a Pastor's life is spent in meetings. Church meetings, community meetings and of course training meetings. Yesterday I was in meetings from 7:30am to 6:30pm. It was a long, long day.
Today I was in a meeting yet again. But this meeting was somewhat different than the norm. Our new Superintendent has called all of the Free Methodist pastors together for a series of trainings. It was very interesting today as he not only enlarged our thinking but helped us understand how these things applied to our local churches. We also got some small glimpses into the other churches in our conference. It was exciting to see how much God is doing.
It is very timely for our church as we begin to plan the new addition. It is wonderful, exciting and absolutely terrifying as I think about it.
There is no doubt that the days ahead will not be dull .... nope not even close.
Just Connie
Today I was in a meeting yet again. But this meeting was somewhat different than the norm. Our new Superintendent has called all of the Free Methodist pastors together for a series of trainings. It was very interesting today as he not only enlarged our thinking but helped us understand how these things applied to our local churches. We also got some small glimpses into the other churches in our conference. It was exciting to see how much God is doing.
It is very timely for our church as we begin to plan the new addition. It is wonderful, exciting and absolutely terrifying as I think about it.
There is no doubt that the days ahead will not be dull .... nope not even close.
Just Connie
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
House Fire
I pulled on my tall Fire Department boots and jumped into the Duty Rig. I had not planned on hiking through a Fire Scene when I dressed in the morning and was feeling thankful for a pair of boots to tuck my slacks into. As we drove to the scene the Chief explained the fire of the night before. I listened intently as we pulled into the drive.
As I stepped out into the mud and the rain I could smell the acrid scent of burnt house. It is a terrible smell of wood, melted plastics and various materials that burn in any house fire. As we hiked up the hill to the house the smell grew in intensity and I wrinkled my nose as I tried to block the smell.
Stepping into the house I made my way to the site of the fire. I looked at the charred, wet flooring and gazed at large hole in the side of the house. As the chief snapped pictures I made my way to speak with the home owner who was packing up some clothing. Soot marked her face as she sorted through her smoke stained belongings. I could feel her sorrow and her fear as she worked and I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
As the Chief and I walked back to the Duty Rig I reflected on the very human side of fires and of the devastation those fires brings to their lives. It was a reminder that for every fire statistic I see there are tears falling and lives that have been changed.
I pray that I never become hardened to the loss or to only see just the statistics. I think I need days like today to remind me.... to keep me connected with the people.
I actually think it is good to feel their pain .... but I have to admit it hurts.
Just Connie
As I stepped out into the mud and the rain I could smell the acrid scent of burnt house. It is a terrible smell of wood, melted plastics and various materials that burn in any house fire. As we hiked up the hill to the house the smell grew in intensity and I wrinkled my nose as I tried to block the smell.
Stepping into the house I made my way to the site of the fire. I looked at the charred, wet flooring and gazed at large hole in the side of the house. As the chief snapped pictures I made my way to speak with the home owner who was packing up some clothing. Soot marked her face as she sorted through her smoke stained belongings. I could feel her sorrow and her fear as she worked and I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
As the Chief and I walked back to the Duty Rig I reflected on the very human side of fires and of the devastation those fires brings to their lives. It was a reminder that for every fire statistic I see there are tears falling and lives that have been changed.
I pray that I never become hardened to the loss or to only see just the statistics. I think I need days like today to remind me.... to keep me connected with the people.
I actually think it is good to feel their pain .... but I have to admit it hurts.
Just Connie
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Insurance at Last
I made the very first payment on my health insurance policy today. For the first time in 5 years beginning on February 1st, I will covered by health insurance. That is an amazingly good feeling. When I left the Mission and being covered by group coverage, I discovered quickly that by insurance standards I was considered uninsurable.
I have found that you make different kind of decisions when you do not have health insurance.
When I smashed my finger this last Fall I did not go and have it x-rayed. I looked at and said, "Yep, that's broken". When I fell down the stairs I can remember laying at the foot of the stairs and saying, "you cannot be hurt. You have no health insurance". At least in that case I really was not hurt, unfortunately the finger really was broken. Besides not having injuries treated, you also have a tendency to wait to long to go to the Dr when you are sick. You also do not always fill the prescriptions the doctor orders because they are so costly. Last year while I was sick, I found out that the inhalers that I had been using were just under $300. I almost fainted ... and did not refill any of them. So no insurance forces you to compromise some of your health choices.
But now I have options when I get sick or when I am injured and that feels pretty good. I have to admit that though I do not like the new Obamacare I really like being able to find insurance coverage. I really like being able to afford a policy. But I do not what this program has done with my friends who were previously insured and now are facing incredibly higher costs for the same or less coverage than they had before. And to be honest even though I am benefitting from this plan, I wish it had not been passed.
However, it did pass and at least for this year, I am covered and that feels pretty good.
Just Connie
I have found that you make different kind of decisions when you do not have health insurance.
When I smashed my finger this last Fall I did not go and have it x-rayed. I looked at and said, "Yep, that's broken". When I fell down the stairs I can remember laying at the foot of the stairs and saying, "you cannot be hurt. You have no health insurance". At least in that case I really was not hurt, unfortunately the finger really was broken. Besides not having injuries treated, you also have a tendency to wait to long to go to the Dr when you are sick. You also do not always fill the prescriptions the doctor orders because they are so costly. Last year while I was sick, I found out that the inhalers that I had been using were just under $300. I almost fainted ... and did not refill any of them. So no insurance forces you to compromise some of your health choices.
But now I have options when I get sick or when I am injured and that feels pretty good. I have to admit that though I do not like the new Obamacare I really like being able to find insurance coverage. I really like being able to afford a policy. But I do not what this program has done with my friends who were previously insured and now are facing incredibly higher costs for the same or less coverage than they had before. And to be honest even though I am benefitting from this plan, I wish it had not been passed.
However, it did pass and at least for this year, I am covered and that feels pretty good.
Just Connie
Red Letter Day
This is a red letter day! No ... this is even bigger than a red letter day. I think I need to do a happy dance around my desk.
The occasion of all this celebrating came from paying bills this morning. I usually feel some relief when the money in the account and the bills go equal distance. But today I paid a very special bill. I made the very last payment in on the legacy my former husband left for me, a huge pile of debt. When the divorce was finalized I offered to take half of the debt. I paid off my half and then ... I discovered he had no intention of paying anything on his part of the debt. I knew that creditors have no respect for divorce decrees and there was little I could do except begin to pay it off.
For the last 5 years I have been agonizingly making headway on what seemed to be an insurmountable problem. I have sacrificed, struggled and driven a car on its last legs to get this final debt paid off. And today it is finished ... completely done. I do not owe on anything but the house.
This is a pretty good feeling. It means I now have the money to pay for health insurance. I can now put money in my savings account. I can take a deep breath and begin to look at what my options are. Right now I am feeling that there is a huge weight off of my shoulders.
And that is a pretty good feeling ... I think it is time for my happy dance!
Just Connie
The occasion of all this celebrating came from paying bills this morning. I usually feel some relief when the money in the account and the bills go equal distance. But today I paid a very special bill. I made the very last payment in on the legacy my former husband left for me, a huge pile of debt. When the divorce was finalized I offered to take half of the debt. I paid off my half and then ... I discovered he had no intention of paying anything on his part of the debt. I knew that creditors have no respect for divorce decrees and there was little I could do except begin to pay it off.
For the last 5 years I have been agonizingly making headway on what seemed to be an insurmountable problem. I have sacrificed, struggled and driven a car on its last legs to get this final debt paid off. And today it is finished ... completely done. I do not owe on anything but the house.
This is a pretty good feeling. It means I now have the money to pay for health insurance. I can now put money in my savings account. I can take a deep breath and begin to look at what my options are. Right now I am feeling that there is a huge weight off of my shoulders.
And that is a pretty good feeling ... I think it is time for my happy dance!
Just Connie
Monday, January 27, 2014
Hope Puppy Thoughts
This morning I took her with me to the office as I often do during the week. She curls up with the squeaky toy I keep there. In fact she lays under my desk while I working on my sermon and does, "Squuuueeeak, Squuuueeeak, Squuuueeeak!" Believe it or not I have learned to tune it out. The relaly entertaining times is when I am talking on the phone. Because she knows since it is just she and I in the office, I must be talking to her. She gets so excited and immediately comes and drops her squeaky toy in my lap. Her drippy, drooly squeaky toy ... it is no wonder I always have dirty spots on my pants.
On my way home, I stopped by to talk to my treasurer at his nearby business. He is one of Hope's favorite toys so of course she had to go in with me to see him. She not only talked him into throwing her toy, but she convinced every customer and driver who came in as well.
Hope Puppy is so funny and so much company. She keeps me laughing and showers me with unconditional love. I am so very thankful for her and for the joy and love she brings into my life.
it would be a good problem to have ....
Just Connie
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Annual Society Meeting
Today was our Annual Meeting at church. Annual meeting is a time to take a look back and then a look ahead as well as church elections for the year. Our Annual Meetings usually do not last very long and have never been contentious or difficult.
Today I had something important that I wanted to talk to them about. I needed to get them thinking about the necessity of adding onto the church. The discussion went very well and I will be setting a date for our first brain storming session. We want to explore all of our options as we look to the future.
I have to admit that this is not something I would have chosen to be doing. I have never been one of those "building pastors". I have always considered myself a teaching pastor, but the reality is that we are completely out of space. We have to find a way to address our space problems. We need short term solutions and we need a long term solution.
Even though this is not something I would have chosen I can see the value and the need of doing it. So over the next few months we will be dreaming and planning. I have a feeling that it will be an interesting time for all of us.
Doesn't that sound like one of those pastoral euphemisms for challenging and difficult?
Just Connie
Today I had something important that I wanted to talk to them about. I needed to get them thinking about the necessity of adding onto the church. The discussion went very well and I will be setting a date for our first brain storming session. We want to explore all of our options as we look to the future.
I have to admit that this is not something I would have chosen to be doing. I have never been one of those "building pastors". I have always considered myself a teaching pastor, but the reality is that we are completely out of space. We have to find a way to address our space problems. We need short term solutions and we need a long term solution.
Even though this is not something I would have chosen I can see the value and the need of doing it. So over the next few months we will be dreaming and planning. I have a feeling that it will be an interesting time for all of us.
Doesn't that sound like one of those pastoral euphemisms for challenging and difficult?
Just Connie
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Unexpected Blessing
For the last couple of months one of the projects I have been working on was a 70th birthday party for a friend. Today was the big day.
There is something very precious about spending time with friends that lifts my hearts. To have the chance to sit and talk and really learn about each other is a somewhat rare experience for me. So often I am so tied up in an event that I do not really get to visit and talk to people. Today I got to visit and even make some new friends. I found myself packing up at he end with a smile on my face.
Not only am I glad that I had the chance to do something nice for a friend, but I really think that I ended up doing something nice for myself as well.
I love how there are so often unexpected blessings as we serve other people.
It is always worth it ...............
Just Connie
There is something very precious about spending time with friends that lifts my hearts. To have the chance to sit and talk and really learn about each other is a somewhat rare experience for me. So often I am so tied up in an event that I do not really get to visit and talk to people. Today I got to visit and even make some new friends. I found myself packing up at he end with a smile on my face.
Not only am I glad that I had the chance to do something nice for a friend, but I really think that I ended up doing something nice for myself as well.
I love how there are so often unexpected blessings as we serve other people.
It is always worth it ...............
Just Connie
Friday, January 24, 2014
Fearful
I have lived alone for 5 years. I have become comfortable and confident for the most part. But every once in a while something happens that makes me uneasy with the "things that go bump in the night". Last night I had one of those moments.
It was a normal kind of evening, I was watching TV and working on the computer and Hope Puppy was outside playing. As a border collie there is virtually nothing that scares her and her unfailing enthusiasm for life always cheers me. She normally will stand at the door and quietly woof for me to let her in. Last night she came racing up to the door with her tail between her legs and hit the door about 3 foot off the ground. I was not quite fast enough so she once again leaped into the air and hit the door. I rushed to the door and she ran in the room and hid behind my legs. I was totally stunned. I had never seen her run from anything. She chases the deer, the raccoons and anything else that comes into the yard. But here she was shaking, trying to tuck herself completely behind me.
I turned on the outdoor lights and peered out into the dark. But I saw nothing. I turned around just in time to see Hope Puppy dash into my bedroom where she promptly hid under the bed. And it was at that point that I decided if Hope was scared I needed to pay attention. I made sure all my security lights were on outside. I turned off the room lights and with my 357 and my cell phone on the table ... I watched.
But all remained quiet. Feeling uneasy, I decided to call it a night. I carefully made sure the house was locked and laid in bed thinking. I have never seen Hope react to some thing like that. I considered possibilities, probably not human unless they had hurt her and there was no yelping. Probably none of the usual animals ... and then I remembered ... our resident cougar. Yes .... that could have sent her in the house with her tail between her legs.
Feeling relieved as the pieces fell into place, I laughed at myself, coaxed Hope Puppy from underneath the bed and told her she was a smart doggie. She quickly hid herself behind my pillows and I snuggled into bed. Feeling at peace.
Another fear met and conquered. And I guess that is pretty much a large part of life on your own. I am thankful for resources, skills and a GREAT BIG GOD!
I would not want to do this without Him .....
Just Connie
It was a normal kind of evening, I was watching TV and working on the computer and Hope Puppy was outside playing. As a border collie there is virtually nothing that scares her and her unfailing enthusiasm for life always cheers me. She normally will stand at the door and quietly woof for me to let her in. Last night she came racing up to the door with her tail between her legs and hit the door about 3 foot off the ground. I was not quite fast enough so she once again leaped into the air and hit the door. I rushed to the door and she ran in the room and hid behind my legs. I was totally stunned. I had never seen her run from anything. She chases the deer, the raccoons and anything else that comes into the yard. But here she was shaking, trying to tuck herself completely behind me.
I turned on the outdoor lights and peered out into the dark. But I saw nothing. I turned around just in time to see Hope Puppy dash into my bedroom where she promptly hid under the bed. And it was at that point that I decided if Hope was scared I needed to pay attention. I made sure all my security lights were on outside. I turned off the room lights and with my 357 and my cell phone on the table ... I watched.
But all remained quiet. Feeling uneasy, I decided to call it a night. I carefully made sure the house was locked and laid in bed thinking. I have never seen Hope react to some thing like that. I considered possibilities, probably not human unless they had hurt her and there was no yelping. Probably none of the usual animals ... and then I remembered ... our resident cougar. Yes .... that could have sent her in the house with her tail between her legs.
Feeling relieved as the pieces fell into place, I laughed at myself, coaxed Hope Puppy from underneath the bed and told her she was a smart doggie. She quickly hid herself behind my pillows and I snuggled into bed. Feeling at peace.
Another fear met and conquered. And I guess that is pretty much a large part of life on your own. I am thankful for resources, skills and a GREAT BIG GOD!
I would not want to do this without Him .....
Just Connie
Angry Bunny
I have a very angry bunny. You have never lived till you have seen a very angry 6 pound bunny. You would not think that a 6 pound bunny can express much anger ... let alone a 12 year old, 6 pound bunny. But yet ... there he is.
The anger stems from my decision to give him a bath. His fur was looking a bit ratty and dry and I decided to give him a good scrubbing. He thought that was a rather poor idea. In fact he thought is was a terrible idea. From the moment I lowered him in the warm water of the bathroom sink he began to try to jump out of the sink. If I took one hand off he immediately would make a break for it throwing water and soap in a 2 foot radius. So for 10 minutes we struggled with wild escapes while I tried to scrub him and rinse him.
But at long last I had rinsed the last of the soap off and I wrapped him in a thick towel and began to try to dry him off. That is when he took exception to my next brilliant idea .... using the hair dryer to take the worst of the wet off. When he realized that he was not going to be able to escape, he suddenly went completely limp and flopped on his side. "Oh my gosh!" I thought, "I've killed him!" But no ... he weakly waved a paw at me .... for all the world saying, "Help me!". I grabbed a thick dry towel and and wrapped him up while I cuddled and talked to him. It was when he began to snuggle down and give the "chuck, chuck, chuck" sound that contented rabbits give that I realized I had been played.
So I grabbed the hair dryer again and got him about half dry. Then I began to comb lose fur and matts while all the while keeping one hand on top of his head trying to prevent his escape. But I finally decided enough was enough and set him on the floor where he promptly stomped his foot at me (the equivalent of a bunny flip off" and ran in the corner under the chair where he turned his little bunny back on me and began to groom himself.
Then I took stock of the damage, There was water and soap all over the bathroom (including me) Fur clung to every surface (including me) Wet towels, pools of water and chaos reigned. All from one 6 pound bunny getting a bath.
And he is mad at me? ....
Just Connie
The anger stems from my decision to give him a bath. His fur was looking a bit ratty and dry and I decided to give him a good scrubbing. He thought that was a rather poor idea. In fact he thought is was a terrible idea. From the moment I lowered him in the warm water of the bathroom sink he began to try to jump out of the sink. If I took one hand off he immediately would make a break for it throwing water and soap in a 2 foot radius. So for 10 minutes we struggled with wild escapes while I tried to scrub him and rinse him.
So I grabbed the hair dryer again and got him about half dry. Then I began to comb lose fur and matts while all the while keeping one hand on top of his head trying to prevent his escape. But I finally decided enough was enough and set him on the floor where he promptly stomped his foot at me (the equivalent of a bunny flip off" and ran in the corner under the chair where he turned his little bunny back on me and began to groom himself.
Then I took stock of the damage, There was water and soap all over the bathroom (including me) Fur clung to every surface (including me) Wet towels, pools of water and chaos reigned. All from one 6 pound bunny getting a bath.
And he is mad at me? ....
Just Connie
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Exciting Trip
Churches talk a lot about vision and yet frankly so often we do not move into the future we envision. There is often a disconnect between what we envision and what we actually do. it has become clear to me that it is time for us as a church to dream and out of those dreams begin to plan for the future.
Our reality is that we are out of space. We are critically short on classrooms and offices. Our bathrooms are small, cramped and totally inadequate. And all of this has come to a head because we have nowhere for our babies and toddlers. Our nursery is very small and is only for about two babies. Currently we have 6 nursery age children and one more on the way that we know about. They do not fit in the nursery.
It is time for us to find a short term immediate solution and time to start strategizing for a long term solution. For the short term it looks like we are going to split up the toddlers and the infants and move the adult class into a different area. For the long term it looks like we have to build.
I do not know what that will look like ... we have lots of options. It is exciting, it is scary ... and it is everything in between those things as well. There are good things ahead ... we just need to find the path.
This should be an exciting trip ....
Just Connie
Our reality is that we are out of space. We are critically short on classrooms and offices. Our bathrooms are small, cramped and totally inadequate. And all of this has come to a head because we have nowhere for our babies and toddlers. Our nursery is very small and is only for about two babies. Currently we have 6 nursery age children and one more on the way that we know about. They do not fit in the nursery.
It is time for us to find a short term immediate solution and time to start strategizing for a long term solution. For the short term it looks like we are going to split up the toddlers and the infants and move the adult class into a different area. For the long term it looks like we have to build.
I do not know what that will look like ... we have lots of options. It is exciting, it is scary ... and it is everything in between those things as well. There are good things ahead ... we just need to find the path.
This should be an exciting trip ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Living Well
I
have been having nightmares the last few weeks. I am pretty sure I know what
has triggered them. But so far I have been unable to stop them. I have a
feeling my subconscious might be working through some old memories … some
rather ugly memories.
I
think most of us have those times in life that leave tender spots and scars.
When someone unintentionally brushes against it … it hurts. I think the trick
is what we choose to do with those “spots” in our lives. I really do not want
to be controlled by the bad things in my past. But it can be challenging to not
let those painful, hurtful experiences take over our present and do more harm.
So here are some of the things that I am committing to … to help live in the
present, while learning from the past.
1. Be
connected – To God, to other people and to my community. There is potential
danger in too much isolation. And other people can bring love and support into
my daily life.
2. Accept
responsibility – For the things I have done, good, bad and everything in
between. That means that sometimes there will be a price to pay and sometimes
there will be unexpected blessings.
3. Be
realistic – Lay aside the expectations of a perfect world, a perfect life
and live in the reality of the present
4. Be
honest – With myself, with other people. It takes much of the stress and
guesswork out of life.
5. Be
forgiving – With other people and with myself. I cannot move ahead if I am
burdened down with guilt I should not still be carrying
6. Be
generous – It changes my perspective, it changes me and it changes those
around me
7. Be
brave – Face the past squarely, live today with victory and view tomorrow
with hope
8. Be a
developer – Learn new things, help other people, build new friendships
9. Choose
hope – hard things happen and tough times come, know absolutely that there
are better things ahead, it will remind me that God is in control and will
bring me through the tough times.
10.
Live in love – Love is always the
right answer for God is love and all that live in Him, live in love
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
There are good things ahead ....
Just Connie
Monday, January 20, 2014
Crab Trip
I recently took a trip with friends to do something I had never done. I went crabbing! I woke up early on a frosty foggy January morning. I bundled up in multiple layers, packed my lunch and headed out to meet my friends.
When we got to the beach we were amazed to find the sun shining and no wind. As we unpacked and hiked down to the docks I marveled at the incredible beautiful weather.
Over the next 4 hours we threw crab pots in, pulled crab pots out and measured countless crabs. In between we sat and enjoyed the beautiful view and the entertaining marine life.
In the end we had 10 keeper crabs. Tired and happy we headed home to cook, crack and eat our crab haul. I came home content and realizing anew how much I appreciate being taken into people's lives and families. Friendship is a beautiful thing when you truly experience it.
I am thankful for these moments which lightens and unites our hearts. It brings beauty and peace and the reality of God;s love for us to life.
Just Connie
When we got to the beach we were amazed to find the sun shining and no wind. As we unpacked and hiked down to the docks I marveled at the incredible beautiful weather.
In the end we had 10 keeper crabs. Tired and happy we headed home to cook, crack and eat our crab haul. I came home content and realizing anew how much I appreciate being taken into people's lives and families. Friendship is a beautiful thing when you truly experience it.
Just Connie
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Beautiful Afternoon
With a 60 degree sunny day calling my name, my son and I packed up the fishing poles and headed to local farm pond. To be honest ... I never unpacked my fishing pole, I sat in the sun and read a book.
As I sat there I could feel the peace and beauty fill and smooth the stressed and jagged spots within me. The misty hills, the quiet reflections in the pond and of course the lowing of the cattle in the background ... all of it spoke peace to my heart.
Today reminded me of how important these quiet moments are to my heart, health and well being. I need to take the time to soak in more of these moments.
Somehow .... someway ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
I Really Needed That
It was a dark and foggy night .... in fact very, very foggy. The fog was misting and swirling and suddenly about 20 feet in front of my car there was a huge dark shape in my lane. I slammed on my brakes and jerked my wheel to the left as the car rocked alarmingly and the tires squealed. As I was fighting for control of the car, I looked to my right and standing there in the middle of the road was a large bull elk. I can remember thinking as I slid past it ..."Is that a moose? No we don't have moose ...it's an elk. He is so huge I cannot even see his head". And then suddenly, miraculously I was past it and stopped. I shakily pulled the car back into my lane looking for a place where I could pull off ... but there were none.
As I slowly kept going I took the exit to Willamina which was only about a half mile down the road. As I drove my mind was whirling. "I cannot believe that the elk just stood there while my car slid around him. I am so lucky I saw him before I hit him .... so lucky there were no oncoming vehicles." And it was while I found myself whispering, "So lucky" that I was struck by a sense of God's hand in this. This was not luck, this was God meeting the need before I even knew I needed it.
When I got home, in spite of the late hour I called my mother and asked, "Mom were you praying for me?" When she said yes, I told her what had happened and how those prayers were answered in such a miraculous way.
I do not fully understand exactly how our prayers bring answers in such miraculous ways, I only know that it is real. Last night reminds me that prayer is powerful and can do miraculous things. It has done miraculous things.
My heart is very grateful .... for divine intervention but also for a mother that prays. I really needed that.
Just Connie
As I slowly kept going I took the exit to Willamina which was only about a half mile down the road. As I drove my mind was whirling. "I cannot believe that the elk just stood there while my car slid around him. I am so lucky I saw him before I hit him .... so lucky there were no oncoming vehicles." And it was while I found myself whispering, "So lucky" that I was struck by a sense of God's hand in this. This was not luck, this was God meeting the need before I even knew I needed it.
When I got home, in spite of the late hour I called my mother and asked, "Mom were you praying for me?" When she said yes, I told her what had happened and how those prayers were answered in such a miraculous way.
I do not fully understand exactly how our prayers bring answers in such miraculous ways, I only know that it is real. Last night reminds me that prayer is powerful and can do miraculous things. It has done miraculous things.
My heart is very grateful .... for divine intervention but also for a mother that prays. I really needed that.
Just Connie
Monday, January 13, 2014
I am a Believer
I am a believer in small government. I believe in personal freedom to choose even when it might not be smart. I believe that everyone should wear a seatbelt, but I believe that there should not be a law forcing you to wear one. I am often frightened by the erosion of personal rights.
With that being said, I will also share that I do not like "The Affordable Care Act". I do not think health care should be legislated or taken over by the government. I do not see the possibility for this program to succeed and I expect it to fail.
I do not believe in this program but today I signed up because for the last 5 years I have not had any health care coverage. Trying to make ends meet while finding a way to get meds and see the doctor has been a stiff challenge ... especially last year. I spent thousands of dollars on medical needs last year and there were some treatments that I opted out of because I just could not afford it.
Beginning February 1st I will have Health Insurance. That is rather amazing since I have been considered uninsurable. Suddenly I have insurance and I will be able to take care of some the issues that I have put off over the past 5 years.
I am not sure that I will have insurance longer than a year, but for this year it looks like I am covered. I am grateful but I have to say that I still do not agree with the program. There is no way that it can succeed financially and I honestly think that this Act might be the straw that broke the camels back. Perhaps we will begin to say .... this is enough .... no more!
But while I wait for that day, I remain compliant to the law .... and I have insurance! And that is something to celebrate.
Just Connie
With that being said, I will also share that I do not like "The Affordable Care Act". I do not think health care should be legislated or taken over by the government. I do not see the possibility for this program to succeed and I expect it to fail.
I do not believe in this program but today I signed up because for the last 5 years I have not had any health care coverage. Trying to make ends meet while finding a way to get meds and see the doctor has been a stiff challenge ... especially last year. I spent thousands of dollars on medical needs last year and there were some treatments that I opted out of because I just could not afford it.
Beginning February 1st I will have Health Insurance. That is rather amazing since I have been considered uninsurable. Suddenly I have insurance and I will be able to take care of some the issues that I have put off over the past 5 years.
I am not sure that I will have insurance longer than a year, but for this year it looks like I am covered. I am grateful but I have to say that I still do not agree with the program. There is no way that it can succeed financially and I honestly think that this Act might be the straw that broke the camels back. Perhaps we will begin to say .... this is enough .... no more!
But while I wait for that day, I remain compliant to the law .... and I have insurance! And that is something to celebrate.
Just Connie
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Dinner Thoughts
Last night was the annual West Valley Fire District Awards Dinner. I always enjoy this evening relaxing with the crew, command staff and board members. I mean, how often do you get to have dinner with 50 handsome young men?
I really enjoy the opportunity to serve with the Fire Department. There are not many things we get to do in life where you know that you are making a life and death difference. The Fire Department is though ... everything I do that strengthens the Fire Department or the crew helps save lives.
I also play an interesting dual role. First of all I serve as a Chaplain and so I work very hard to develop relationships and trust. That way when the hard calls come, they will hopefully trust me enough to honestly share their heart. Secondly, I serve as on the Fire Board. That is an elected position that sets the policy and procedures for the Fire District to function well.
Nights like last night give me a renewed appreciation of what I am doing with the Fire Department. To see us all together like that is rather amazing. To get to know them beyond work is a wonderful blessing. Last night also reminded me that I really have a good life, a life that is making a difference.
I do not think that you can ask for any more than that ....
Just Connie
I really enjoy the opportunity to serve with the Fire Department. There are not many things we get to do in life where you know that you are making a life and death difference. The Fire Department is though ... everything I do that strengthens the Fire Department or the crew helps save lives.
I also play an interesting dual role. First of all I serve as a Chaplain and so I work very hard to develop relationships and trust. That way when the hard calls come, they will hopefully trust me enough to honestly share their heart. Secondly, I serve as on the Fire Board. That is an elected position that sets the policy and procedures for the Fire District to function well.
Nights like last night give me a renewed appreciation of what I am doing with the Fire Department. To see us all together like that is rather amazing. To get to know them beyond work is a wonderful blessing. Last night also reminded me that I really have a good life, a life that is making a difference.
I do not think that you can ask for any more than that ....
Just Connie
Friday, January 10, 2014
Feeling What I Feel
There are times that loneliness grips me. It seems to sneak up on me when I absolutely do not expect it. Today was like that.
I had been having a wonderful day, breakfast with the church folks and then I headed over to Grand Ronde to help my friends unpack after their move here. It is so wonderful to have them just 10 minutes away. I enjoyed my time with them so much and I hardly realized how much I had missed them until they were here. We spent a wonderful day laughing and working side by side. But the time came when it was time for me to get in my car and drive home .... alone. And that is when it happened .... suddenly I was struck by a sense of sadness and loneliness as I thought about driving home alone, to an empty house with a long evening stretching in front of me.
Nothing was different than it had been for the past 6 years, I had spent a thoroughly enjoyable day with friends and yet ... there it was. Why I am not sure ... but there it was. Unwelcome, uncomfortable but very real.
So I drove home, played with the dogs, made some dinner and spent some quiet time curled up in front of the fire. And the thing that I am finding is that how I feel is just how I feel. It is neither right now wrong, it just "is".
So tonight I am feeling the feelings .... and that is enough for now.
Just Connie
I had been having a wonderful day, breakfast with the church folks and then I headed over to Grand Ronde to help my friends unpack after their move here. It is so wonderful to have them just 10 minutes away. I enjoyed my time with them so much and I hardly realized how much I had missed them until they were here. We spent a wonderful day laughing and working side by side. But the time came when it was time for me to get in my car and drive home .... alone. And that is when it happened .... suddenly I was struck by a sense of sadness and loneliness as I thought about driving home alone, to an empty house with a long evening stretching in front of me.
Nothing was different than it had been for the past 6 years, I had spent a thoroughly enjoyable day with friends and yet ... there it was. Why I am not sure ... but there it was. Unwelcome, uncomfortable but very real.
So I drove home, played with the dogs, made some dinner and spent some quiet time curled up in front of the fire. And the thing that I am finding is that how I feel is just how I feel. It is neither right now wrong, it just "is".
So tonight I am feeling the feelings .... and that is enough for now.
Just Connie
Thursday, January 9, 2014
A Pastoral Day
Another busy pastoral day on the administration end of pastoral ministry. I spent the morning creating forms and updating our membership lists in preparation of the nominating committee meeting later in the day. While working on the forms I fielded phone calls and drop in visitors trying hard to get it all wrapped up before my noon meeting.
At noon I met the other pastors of the West Valley Ministerial Association for lunch and fellowship. For two hours we laughed and teased and shared what was happening in our churches. I feel like the group is really beginning to draw together after a lot of pastoral changes in the past year.
By the time that meeting was wrapping up it was time to lay out the materials for the nominating committee. For the next hour we lay out the nominees for the upcoming church elections. Now over the next week we will confirm nominations and work to fill any gaps.
By the time we were done, I packed up my stuff and headed over to the Treasurer's office to touch bases on the week, only to find out that he had had additional communication with the IRS. Since soon after my appointment at Willamina we have been struggling with an old IRS report from 2008. Today we got another notification that it was not fixed yet. I have to admit that these kind of issues can really such the joy out of me. But I am blessed with an incredible treasurer who is really riding herd on this issue for me.
An hour later, I finally left and headed home. Where I have been fielding phone calls and trying to work on a community event we have coming up. The evening seems to be quickly disappearing and I still have work to do. However pretty soon I will push it all aside and head to bed.
Today was good, busy but good. I have to admit though, I am glad that not all of my days as a pastor are wrapped up in administration tasks. I need the time out from behind the desk. days that I am investing in the lives of other people. Days when I can really see that I am making a difference. Because when you stop to think about it, what good is all this "stuff" if it is not making a difference in someone's life.
So today was mostly given to "stuff". But tomorrow ..... is for me. It is time to spend times with my friends and enjoy some down time.
Yes ... time for a me day for sure ....
Just Connie
At noon I met the other pastors of the West Valley Ministerial Association for lunch and fellowship. For two hours we laughed and teased and shared what was happening in our churches. I feel like the group is really beginning to draw together after a lot of pastoral changes in the past year.
By the time that meeting was wrapping up it was time to lay out the materials for the nominating committee. For the next hour we lay out the nominees for the upcoming church elections. Now over the next week we will confirm nominations and work to fill any gaps.
By the time we were done, I packed up my stuff and headed over to the Treasurer's office to touch bases on the week, only to find out that he had had additional communication with the IRS. Since soon after my appointment at Willamina we have been struggling with an old IRS report from 2008. Today we got another notification that it was not fixed yet. I have to admit that these kind of issues can really such the joy out of me. But I am blessed with an incredible treasurer who is really riding herd on this issue for me.
An hour later, I finally left and headed home. Where I have been fielding phone calls and trying to work on a community event we have coming up. The evening seems to be quickly disappearing and I still have work to do. However pretty soon I will push it all aside and head to bed.
Today was good, busy but good. I have to admit though, I am glad that not all of my days as a pastor are wrapped up in administration tasks. I need the time out from behind the desk. days that I am investing in the lives of other people. Days when I can really see that I am making a difference. Because when you stop to think about it, what good is all this "stuff" if it is not making a difference in someone's life.
So today was mostly given to "stuff". But tomorrow ..... is for me. It is time to spend times with my friends and enjoy some down time.
Yes ... time for a me day for sure ....
Just Connie
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
My Day
I was in meetings today .... meetings all day long. One meeting after another. I have found that meetings are the reality of the life of a pastor. It began with the Chamber of Commerce meeting where I serve as Board Secretary. I take minutes while I eat my breakfast and harass the others. It is usually entertaining and good to be with people I have come to love and respect.
From there I headed down to the Fire Hall for the Board of Directors meeting. I am an actual elected official. I often wonder how I got to this place since I had never imagined that I would be. However, I have to say that I really enjoy my service with the Fire Department. I feel like I am doing something worthwhile and important, something that I am actually good at. So for the next hour we went over the audit, signed checks and worked on the management of the Fire District. Afterwards I took the time to sit and talk with the staff, since I also serve as chaplain I make sure that I am down at the Fire Hall often enough to get to know everyone.
But I had another meeting to head to so, I packed up and headed to the church where I meet with the chairmen of one of our committees. We went over protocols and procedures and tried to work out some bugs in our systems.
By the time that meeting was over I threw a frozen meal in the microwave and ate at my desk while I tried to go through the e-mail that had piled up while I was tied up with yesterday's work project. By the time my lunch was gone, my next meeting was knocking at the door. And for the next two hours I met with my associate pastor. I always love our weekly staff meeting and I am very thankful for the wonderful associate God has given me here. The church and I are both very fortunate to have her.
By the time I waved goodbye to her I had just enough time to pack up and run to the bank in Sheridan, stop at the store to grab dinner and head home. Now after making, dinner, cleaning up and finishing sorting my e-mail, I am about ready to call it a night.
Tomorrow I will pop out of bed at 6:00 and begin this cycle all over again. This is the exciting life of a pastor. You know I often say ..."if it wasn't for meetings I would have no social life at all".
Hmmm .... that must be a good thing ... right?
Just Connie
From there I headed down to the Fire Hall for the Board of Directors meeting. I am an actual elected official. I often wonder how I got to this place since I had never imagined that I would be. However, I have to say that I really enjoy my service with the Fire Department. I feel like I am doing something worthwhile and important, something that I am actually good at. So for the next hour we went over the audit, signed checks and worked on the management of the Fire District. Afterwards I took the time to sit and talk with the staff, since I also serve as chaplain I make sure that I am down at the Fire Hall often enough to get to know everyone.
But I had another meeting to head to so, I packed up and headed to the church where I meet with the chairmen of one of our committees. We went over protocols and procedures and tried to work out some bugs in our systems.
By the time that meeting was over I threw a frozen meal in the microwave and ate at my desk while I tried to go through the e-mail that had piled up while I was tied up with yesterday's work project. By the time my lunch was gone, my next meeting was knocking at the door. And for the next two hours I met with my associate pastor. I always love our weekly staff meeting and I am very thankful for the wonderful associate God has given me here. The church and I are both very fortunate to have her.
By the time I waved goodbye to her I had just enough time to pack up and run to the bank in Sheridan, stop at the store to grab dinner and head home. Now after making, dinner, cleaning up and finishing sorting my e-mail, I am about ready to call it a night.
Tomorrow I will pop out of bed at 6:00 and begin this cycle all over again. This is the exciting life of a pastor. You know I often say ..."if it wasn't for meetings I would have no social life at all".
Hmmm .... that must be a good thing ... right?
Just Connie
Monday, January 6, 2014
Tomorrow's Service
One of the many things I have loved about this pastorate is that I get many opportunities to serve in a variety of ways. I have worked on roofs, cut wood, operated a hydraulic splitter, cut down a tree and a host of other things I have never done before.
Tomorrow I take a crew over to the Grand Ronde Nazarene Church to help them repair the parsonage. It is a chance to come alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ and encourage and help. So tomorrow I will pack up my tools and head out to meet the others.
Serving in this very real tangible ways is very satisfying to me. It reminds me what ministry is all about and encourages me to get out from behind my desk. I think it also offers the chance for others to come and help that would not otherwise get a chance or know about the chance to help. I think it also serves as a model of the service God calls all of us to.
Tomorrow will be a wonderful time, a tiring time and a transformational time.
You can't ask for a better day than that.
Just Connie
Tomorrow I take a crew over to the Grand Ronde Nazarene Church to help them repair the parsonage. It is a chance to come alongside our brothers and sisters in Christ and encourage and help. So tomorrow I will pack up my tools and head out to meet the others.
Serving in this very real tangible ways is very satisfying to me. It reminds me what ministry is all about and encourages me to get out from behind my desk. I think it also offers the chance for others to come and help that would not otherwise get a chance or know about the chance to help. I think it also serves as a model of the service God calls all of us to.
Tomorrow will be a wonderful time, a tiring time and a transformational time.
You can't ask for a better day than that.
Just Connie
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Busy Sunday
Busy, busy Sunday. I love Sundays but they are usually very full and very busy and today was definitely that.
I taught my adult Sunday School class which is always fun. I love the discussion and the variety of perspectives. it always challenges me and I leave the class smiling and blessed. From there it was time to step into morning worship. Today I had a whole row of little girls sitting with me. That meant we danced through worship and I laughed and smiled as I watched them love Jesus.
It felt so good to be back in the pulpit today. I was only out one week but it felt like so much longer. There is something about standing before God's people and sharing the Word that humbles, blesses and stretches me. Today was like that. We laughed and shared together as God spoke to our hearts.
Following worship I had a short counseling session and then it was right into a long meeting. From there I ran home, changed my clothes and let the doggies out. By then it was time to head back to the church for the de-decorating. We had three families show up and amazingly it only took us an hour to take everything down and take it up in the attic. We wrapped the evening up by driving into Sheridan for dinner and ice cream. We laughed and just enjoyed being together.
Now I am sitting curled up in front of the fire, enjoying some quiet time with the dogs curled up beside me. It was a good day, a full day that is a pretty good representation of what it means to be a pastor on a Sunday.
I have to say I love my job, I love these people ... I feel full and blessed .... and grateful.
Just Connie
I taught my adult Sunday School class which is always fun. I love the discussion and the variety of perspectives. it always challenges me and I leave the class smiling and blessed. From there it was time to step into morning worship. Today I had a whole row of little girls sitting with me. That meant we danced through worship and I laughed and smiled as I watched them love Jesus.
It felt so good to be back in the pulpit today. I was only out one week but it felt like so much longer. There is something about standing before God's people and sharing the Word that humbles, blesses and stretches me. Today was like that. We laughed and shared together as God spoke to our hearts.
Following worship I had a short counseling session and then it was right into a long meeting. From there I ran home, changed my clothes and let the doggies out. By then it was time to head back to the church for the de-decorating. We had three families show up and amazingly it only took us an hour to take everything down and take it up in the attic. We wrapped the evening up by driving into Sheridan for dinner and ice cream. We laughed and just enjoyed being together.
Now I am sitting curled up in front of the fire, enjoying some quiet time with the dogs curled up beside me. It was a good day, a full day that is a pretty good representation of what it means to be a pastor on a Sunday.
I have to say I love my job, I love these people ... I feel full and blessed .... and grateful.
Just Connie
Friday, January 3, 2014
New Chapter
Tonight marks a new chapter in my life. After years of separation my heart friends and I are all pastoring in the same community again. They pulled in with the moving van tonight about 5:00. Their new church congregation were there to help them as we all worked together to unload the moving van. The good news is that it is all unloaded. The bad news is that their house is not ready. So they will be staying in a travel trailer for a few weeks while they work to finish the house.
It felt so good and so right to have them here. I recognize that this has the potential to change a lot of things for me. To have close friends to depend on ... I almost do not remember what that is like. But I could feel the pieces falling into place as we sat and had dinner together.
I am looking forward to sharing life with my friends and looking forward to what the Lord will do in and through us in the months ahead. This is an answer to the prayer of my heart and the continuation of the restoration he has undertaken in my life. I am so very grateful for this.
God is so very good .....
Just Connie
It felt so good and so right to have them here. I recognize that this has the potential to change a lot of things for me. To have close friends to depend on ... I almost do not remember what that is like. But I could feel the pieces falling into place as we sat and had dinner together.
I am looking forward to sharing life with my friends and looking forward to what the Lord will do in and through us in the months ahead. This is an answer to the prayer of my heart and the continuation of the restoration he has undertaken in my life. I am so very grateful for this.
God is so very good .....
Just Connie
Thursday, January 2, 2014
The Call
The phone call came while I was in a meeting. When I listened to my voice mail I was stunned. After years of prayer, after finally helping his family file a missing person's report, my former husband called me. And taking a deep breath I returned the call.
I am feeling so many different things right now they are hard to all sort out. I am relieved to hear from him and very thankful that he seems to be healthy and well. He sounded so much better than the last time I spoke with him. I also found myself struggling to find the right words to say to communicate that I was doing well and life was good for me.
To be honest it really felt a bit surreal ... as if the last 8 years melted away. I found myself resisting the urge to forget everything that has happened. To forget the fear and the misery, to just remember the good things. And I think there has to be a balance somewhere between the two. I think I need to remember the wonderful man with a terrible problem. To remember but to not be bitter or angry. To remember, to pray and to continue to heal.
I do not have to be controlled or defined by what happened between us. I can just be who I am, what I am and let God continue His work in my heart and life.
I am a work in process .... in fact I have to admit I feel like a construction zone right now.
Just Connie
I am feeling so many different things right now they are hard to all sort out. I am relieved to hear from him and very thankful that he seems to be healthy and well. He sounded so much better than the last time I spoke with him. I also found myself struggling to find the right words to say to communicate that I was doing well and life was good for me.
To be honest it really felt a bit surreal ... as if the last 8 years melted away. I found myself resisting the urge to forget everything that has happened. To forget the fear and the misery, to just remember the good things. And I think there has to be a balance somewhere between the two. I think I need to remember the wonderful man with a terrible problem. To remember but to not be bitter or angry. To remember, to pray and to continue to heal.
I do not have to be controlled or defined by what happened between us. I can just be who I am, what I am and let God continue His work in my heart and life.
I am a work in process .... in fact I have to admit I feel like a construction zone right now.
Just Connie
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Unwritten
It is the first day of a new year. There are 365 unwritten pages stretching before me. I know that the story that is written will be full of be filled with joy and laughter. I look with anticipation for what lies ahead. I know that there will be tears and heartache, challenges and obstacles and still I stand with confidence knowing that God is big enough for what I will face in the days ahead.
I pray that as the story is written that it would glorify God, serve others and bring love and laughter wherever I go.
I wonder what the next year will bring ....
Just Connie
I pray that as the story is written that it would glorify God, serve others and bring love and laughter wherever I go.
I wonder what the next year will bring ....
Just Connie
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