The phone call came while I was in a meeting. When I listened to my voice mail I was stunned. After years of prayer, after finally helping his family file a missing person's report, my former husband called me. And taking a deep breath I returned the call.
I am feeling so many different things right now they are hard to all sort out. I am relieved to hear from him and very thankful that he seems to be healthy and well. He sounded so much better than the last time I spoke with him. I also found myself struggling to find the right words to say to communicate that I was doing well and life was good for me.
To be honest it really felt a bit surreal ... as if the last 8 years melted away. I found myself resisting the urge to forget everything that has happened. To forget the fear and the misery, to just remember the good things. And I think there has to be a balance somewhere between the two. I think I need to remember the wonderful man with a terrible problem. To remember but to not be bitter or angry. To remember, to pray and to continue to heal.
I do not have to be controlled or defined by what happened between us. I can just be who I am, what I am and let God continue His work in my heart and life.
I am a work in process .... in fact I have to admit I feel like a construction zone right now.
Just Connie
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