When Life Hurts

When life hurts, we have a tendency to hold up our pain and say that it is meaningless against someone else's hurt. That can be beneficial in that we realize that others are struggling and sometimes it puts our own issues into right perspective. But sometimes that view point keeps us from moving through our pain, learning and growing from the experience. It limits us to "acceptable" pain on a very arbitrary rating scale.


I recently suffered a hurt. One that hit on some of my most vulnerable and tender spots. I have had some dear friends who are also going through some huge heart breaking issues at the same time. I have found myself at times  shaming myself for what I am feeling ... holding my circumstances up against my friends to examine the flaws.  I am not sure that is healthy. I think that comparisons do me no good at this point.


I am thinking that perhaps it is better to admit there is deep hurt and look for the causes and what can be "fixed" and what can only be experienced. So much of what we feel has to be experienced to be able to learn from it and to move on. If I keep rejecting the hurt and looking for shortcuts around it then I will never be able to learn the kind of lessons that will grow my heart and my character.


So for now, I will let the hurt go ahead and hurt. I will identify the causes. I will change the things that I can change and I will work on accepting those things I have no control over.


That sounds like a pretty big plan .... but I guess any journey begins with a single step.


Just Connie