Do You Know I Love You?

If I were to die tonight ... would the people who mean the most to me know what they mean to me? That is a thought that has gripped me the last couple of days.

I have come to realize that I do not tell people enough and I do not initiate contact with my family and friends enough to assure them of my love and prayers.

I am going to try to do better. I never want them to doubt how much I love them.

Just Connie

I Cried Today

I cried today ... I did not plan on crying ... I certainly did not want to cry ... but there I was sitting among a bunch of pastor's crying.

And the catalyst for the tears was so very unexpected. It hit me hard and fast ... until there I was crying among my peers. No one meant to make me cry ... but yet my friends and colleagues did that very thing.

There we were discussing the new ordination requirements and suddenly they were discussing divorce and ordination. As I sat there and listened ... I felt  ... shame. Shame that I was "one of those". An overwhelming sense of shame that caused my protests to die unsaid and the tears to run down my face as I listened to them discuss divorce in a way that made me feel branded and unclean.

The thing that saddens me is that my hurt and distress made it impossible to speak out ... to protest, to educate. Instead I did what I always tell people to not do ... I withdrew emotionally, I frantically and ruthlessly pushed what I was feeling down.

But I have to admit ... that now hours later I still hurt, I am still fighting tears. I think I am paying the price for not being willing to "feel the feelings". So I am reflecting .... and thinking ... and praying.

I wish ...... that somehow, someway .... but God knows that prayer and He is big enough for this too.

Busy Week Continues

Today was my day off ... so of course it began with an 8:30 appointment at the Fire Hall to take pictures of the new hires. Following that I ran to the local restaurant Coyote Joe's and joined the church group for breakfast. From there I headed over to the church to meet a pastor from Salem to talk over tomorrow's work day.

By the time I wrapped up that meeting it was time to head back to the Fire Hall to take pictures of the group together now that everyone was there. After the picture taking, the Chief and I walked over to the VFW to take a break and walk through the Craft Bazaar. it was a great 30 minute break to wander and talk over the week's events.

After that nice break I headed into Sheridan to get my flu shot where I stuck out because the person that give the shots is gone till Monday. So heading back home I stopped at the grocery store, picked up lunch and headed home to relax. Where I have spent the the afternoon watching Dr Who and napping and doing some online counseling.

All in all a great day and tomorrow I hit the ground running to supervise the work day and get some projects done around the church.

Have I mentioned that I really love my job ...

Just Connie

Busy and Grateful

Today  was eclectic ... busy but eclectic. It started up with a Chamber of Commerce meeting and then was followed up by a Fire Board Meeting where I was officially appointed as the Public Information Officer for the Fire Department. Once I got all my meetings out of the way for the day I stayed at the Fire Hall and typed up some reports that needed to be done.

Then I had a phone counseling session at the church, grabbed some lunch and went to meet with the Treasurer. Then it was time to wade through my e-mail, answer messages and then run to Sheridan to pick up medications. After a quick trip to the Hardware Store I headed back to the church to clear off some desk work.

I wrapped up the work day with a phone call from the Sheridan pastor's inviting me to preach at this year' community Thanksgiving service. Throwing all my gear in the car I stopped at the grocery store and then headed home where I unloaded 50 pound of dog food, carried in 40 pounds of pellets and put  groceries away.

Right now I am sitting here with my feet on the coffee table. In half an hour I will head to the church for an art class.

I love how unique each and every day is. I love what I am doing and I love the fullness of ministry. I feel blessed, happy and certain I am where God has called me to be.

I guess when you think about it ... you really cannot ask for more than that..... I am so grateful!

Just Connie

Postscript - 3 hours later ... In the midst of my class I got paged to a vehicle fire where I took photos and gathered information for media inquiries. Have I mentioned I love my job?

A Good Obedient Daughter

I just got back from a Fire Conference. It was the first one I had ever been at. Right now my head is filled to the bursting point with new information. I have a feeling that it will take me some time to process everything that I learned.

One of the things I was instructed to do (by my father of course) was to bring back a fireman. His ongoing campaign to find a man for my life. Soooo being a good obedient and dutiful daughter I brought back this fireman.















For some reason ... he called me a brat.

Sooooo still trying to be a good and obedient daughter I decided that instead I would bring back this fine fellow. A knight in shining armor.










For some reason he once again  called me a brat.

Sometimes you can't please anyone!

Crazy Lady

I get to do lots of fun things as a pastor. One of the things I love to do is candidate testing at the Fire Department.  They set up several stations where candidates are tested and scored. They are tested in a Fire scenario, paramedic skills, general knowledge and conflict resolution. I always get the honor of being part of the conflict resolution testing.

This year the scenario I was given is that a Fire Truck knocked my mailbox down. I was supposed to be angry and come to the Fire Hall demanding answers. In other words I got to yell, try to intimidate and be an all around pain in the neck. In other words I got to play and have lots of fun.

As each candidate came in we explained the scenario and then I would begin my yelling. The expressions on the face of the candidates were priceless. Some recovered very well and others ... well not so much. It was especially hard for the candidates who knew me, they could not reconcile the person they knew and this yelling, screaming maniac.

My favorite response of the day was one young man who asked if I could identify the driver of the truck. When I told they were wearing a fireman's uniform and a helmet ... he responded, ""was it me?" It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

All in all, it was a great day. I had fun, met lots of people and totally convinced a new generation of firemen that pastors are absolutely nuts.

Yep ... ministry is wonderful!

Just Connie