Well I still do not have insurance approval, though I am hoping that it comes in today. However, I did find out the current treatment plan which has taken some of the wind of my sails. The doctor right now wants me to split treatment up into two sessions. One that I infuse 4 grams and then a second session that I infuse 3 grams. I know that he is hoping this will mitigate some of the side effects I have with treatment. However what I have experienced so far is that will means not only two treatment days when I am down and in bed. But I will have 2-3 additional recovery days. So instead of being really sick for 2 days, I will be kind of sick for 4 days.
I will comply and try it out, but I think I will have a miserable, time consuming, schedule destroying month ahead of me when treatment begins again. And I am trying really hard to not complain. Because I am thankful for treatment, but the reality is that I still have a job to do, I still have the desire to live life. I keep trying to remind myself that this part of it is not forever. This is early days of treatment yet and the doctor is still experimenting.
But I have to admit that I have this deep desire in my heart that my life is not centered around my illness. I want to be in vital ministry. I want to continue to learn new things. I want to hike, ski, backpack and paddle board. I want to grow. But that gets so difficult in the midst of treatments, Drs, hospitals and illness.
But I am going to try ... I want to live life and I want to live it abundantly!
Just Connie
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