Perspective

I felt my eyes fill with tears as I listened to the Dr. He had not seen me in a year and I know was distressed at how much ground I had lost in that time. But as I heard him tell me to file for disability, it became apparent that he did not think I was going to get better. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I fought the tears as I tried to make my way from the office in dignity.

All the way home I fought to put things in perspective. The fact that I have made progress, the morning call from immunologist to tell me my antibody levels are rising. But yet this Dr's perspective  surrounded me with something that I have not felt since I entered this journey ... A lack of hope which is very foreign to my nature and my practice.

So I e-mailed a trusted friend who is also my primary care Dr. I told him what had been said and asked for his perspective and input. He honestly pointed out that I have a lot of ground to recover, but that all of them ... My pulmunologist, my immunologist and himself were working towards recovery not palliative care. I am so appreciative of his honesty and perspective. I really needed to hear that.

I also needed to hear him say ... Uhmmm don't go back to that Dr! I am definitely complying with that!

Just Connie