Juggling Balls

Sometimes life gets full of stuff. I am feeling that way, there is just a lot of stuff coming at me, a lot of balls that I am juggling right now.

My health is part of it. I continue to fight for antibodies so I can fight infections. The treatments are time consuming (2 entire days gone) and make me pretty sick. The infections crash my lungs and I am struggling to keep my asthma under control. Spending 5 hours in the ER a couple of days ago for my lungs reminded me that things can change very quickly. And of course there is the mass in my pancreas. All three of those things by themselves would be a lot ...taken together  it is massive. And I work really hard that my life not be all about my illness.

There is my ministry which I love and it gives me life. I have the best job in the world! But suddenly I have less time to do it in. There are things I have to let go of that I did not want to say goodbye to ... But there was just no time. And the church is in a building phase. We need to envision a new future and that takes time and energy as well. There is also my work at the Fire Station which also gives me life and joy. Because of my treatment schedule I miss most of the drills and often can't respond to calls and am forced to send someone else.

There is the house, which needs work. I really needed to get the house painted this summer and it just didn't happen. I have rooms which need to be painted, projects that need to be finished and I need time and energy to do that.

All of those represent a lot of balls that are sometimes in the air and sometimes crashing down around me. And yet ..... I choose peace and joy. In spite of the problems and challenges, I want to live in peace and joy. And I believe that is not dependent on my circumstances, but it is something I choose.

And it is a choice that I have to make every day ....

Just Connie