The call I have been waiting for came today. I came home from the office, pushed the button on the answering machine and there it was. I listened to it twice and very responsibly wrote all the information down, but my heart was pounding and I realized that my hand was shaking as i wrote the number down.
I had been expecting this call, but dreading this call. It was the call from the "divorce clearance" committee of my denomination. They have reviewed the divorce papers and my statements and are ready to meet with me. They will hold my choices against biblical standards to determine that I am correct in my actions. They will also determine my emotional and mental health for ministry.
I find this to be a very scary process. Even though I have put myself under the guidance and authority of my denominational leaders and acted with their approval, even though I feel I have done what God has asked me to do, I can feel the panic hit when I think about this interview. It is so important to me. My call to ministry is a core component of who God created me to be. I want to, need to follow the call just as much as I need to breathe.
I guess when it comes down to it, my ministry is God's responsibility. If He wants me in ministry then He will bring me through this. I need to keep reminding myself that this battle is not mine, it is God's. I just need to keep moving forward in the strength and courage God gives me.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged" 1 Chronicles 22:13
Just Connie
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