Mother's Day has a tendency to make me sad. I usually do not get to see my children and there have been some years that I have not heard from them either. Since I am several hours away and Mother's Day is always on a Sunday, I usually do not get to see my mother either. This year mom and dad have been out of town so I did not even get to go and see them the day before as I often do.
I think what makes me sad, is that I feel out of sync with what I always thought my life would be. I thought I would have a husband and that my children would swarm home to be with me on the holidays. Instead I find myself alone and my children far away.
My reality did not live up to my expectations. Most of the time I am content with what God is building in the here and now. But as I approach Mother's Day I find there is a sadness lurking in the quiet moments. I am working hard to ignore it and push it away. But it is there.
So I am choosing to admit that it is there, but I refuse to camp there. My life is what it is. There is good and bad and everything in between. God has not abandoned me and he knows the hurt of my heart. He also knows what I really need. Can I trust him enough to trust him with my aloneness?
I think I can....
Just Connie
1 comment:
Sweet Connie - You are not alone. You are well loved and well thought of. I love what you said about acknowledging what is reality in your life and the sadness this particular situation brings - but refusing to "camp" there. I am in the painful process of learning how to do that very thing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I love you my heart friend!
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