15 years ago ... I crept away from the Nazarene Church with great hurt in my heart. The reality of the desertion of my husband had left 15 years of ministry in a heap of ashes. I was not only filled with hurt I was filled with a sense of shame.
In the months after my husband left I was stricken by the silence of my peers. The people who I had visited in the hospital and counseled with, the people that I met with and prayed with each week ... were inexplicably silent. And that silence increased my sense of shame and brokenness. During those long months of silence I had two phone calls from fellow pastors to check on me. I have never forgotten the kindness and the support of those two ministers as they sought to minister to me.
Today, I went to a pastor's conference in Portland and I was surprised to meet one of the men who called me so long ago. I was so blessed to see him and it brought back to me his overwhelming kindness when my heart was broken.
I did not have the chance to tell him thank you today, I hope I will at some point. He probably does not even remember he called me ... but I remember and I am grateful for that ray of love that helped me through some very dark days.
Today was another healing step for me as I sat in a group of Nazarene Ministers and did not feel that sense of shame. I felt love ... and that felt .... very good.
Just Connie
1 comment:
Connie - my dearest friend. I am so sorry for your pain. I am sorry, again, for the part I played in it. I am glad you fund a friend at the conference and glad someone was there so long ago to call you with some support.
Mostly, I am grateful - to our loving Father for his gift of restoration and to you for the gift of forgiveness. I truly love you, my heart friend. Caro
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