A Hard Day

Hard, hard, hard .... Today has been difficult. I made an appointment with my family doctor to take a look at my throat and give me input on my breathing and lungs. My throat ... Well I have another infection ... thrush to be specific. So yet a third antibiotic to start again. My lungs ... Well that is where it began to get hard. My oxygen levels have been dropping when I lay down or sleep. I mentioned it to my family doctor he had asked me to tell my pulmunologist. So I left the pulmunologist  a message before I saw my family doctor. He called while I was seeing my family doctor. He wants me to have an overnight test to be evaluated for nighttime oxygen use.

That was not what I expected or wanted to hear. By the time my family doctor came back in, I was in tears. It is just another sign that I am worse. I do not want to be this person. But I am blessed with an incredibly caring family doctor who hugged me, let me cry and then told me he believes I am as bad as I am going to get. Treatment will begin and I will begin to heal and get better. He also pointed out that I have been hit by the perfect storm on every side. There is nothing I could do different or better. I have done nothing wrong and I am not making it worse.

He really encouraged me and I headed home to process everything. I spent the day puttering around and working on the Christmas decorations and resting. It was 5pm when the pulmunologist called again. He wanted a chest X-ray for me asap. He wanted me to head to the hospital now, he had already sent the order in. He also wanted me to bump up my steroids.

I looked out the window at the icy roads and began to pull my boots on. I texted my neighbor to let him know I was leaving for the hospital and grabbed my coat. That is when my neighbor offered to go to the hospital with me. So for the very long, slow and slippery trip I had good company.

When we got to the hospital and checked in, they could find no order for a chest X-ray and told me to come back tomorrow. That us when I began to tear up, but I made the effort to call the pulmunologist who of course was gone and unavailable. I texted my family doctor my frustration who immediately offered to order the chest X-ray. So the X-ray was ordered and done and we were soon taking the long, slow, slippery trip back home.

Now I am home ... Tired and still processing everything. Wanting this part to be over already.

Sigh ....