Reality

I have been working on projects today. Some of them kind of fun and some of them absolutely not fun. But what else is new?

One of the fun things I have been working on today is sewing up some dinner napkins for a wedding shower that I am going to tomorrow night. I have not done much sewing over the past few years. I always enjoy it when I do. Sometimes the effort of dragging everything out just seems too great. But I am glad that I am doing this for the shower. I hope that I will look for some other fun projects in the days ahead.

One of the absolutely not fun things I did today was spray the 5 wasp nests I found in the garage. None of them were very large, but all of them needed to be destroyed. So I headed to the hardware store and bought the “bee spray”. Tonight after dark, I went out and sprayed all of them. By tomorrow I should be able to scrape them down and clean up the mess.

As I was preparing to spray the bees, I was suddenly struck by how much I did not want to do it. I was flooded with such a sense of loss and loneliness. I should have a husband here to do these things for me. I should not be having to do this by myself.

But yet here I am … by myself. This is my reality, whether I like it or not. I am alone and I must learn to deal with bees, peeling paint, lawn mowers and all the other things I find that I resent facing alone. You know … sometimes reality stinks.

“Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” Ecclesiastes 4:11

Just Connie