For 15 years I pastored with a denomination that I loved. I served on committees, boards and gave countless hours to help churches around the state. U served on regional committees and even sat on the theology board at the college. I loved life and I loved my church and denomination. Then one night my husband came home, handed me a letter and was gone. In the weeks that followed my life that I loved was gone. I was told that though the divorce was not my choice and there was nothing I could do to stop it "I was of no further use to my chosen denomination". My church, my denomination, my friends, all my fellow pastors .... everything was gone.
I learned over the months that the judgements of my "friends and co-laborers were harsh. I finally cut myself off from contact with anyone from my denomination. I found I did not have to worry about what they had heard, what rumors, the judgements and over all the incredible hurt it brought me each time.
For 12 years God has been restoring my life, piece by piece. Ministry, friends ... piece by piece it is being given back to me. But I have to admit to a lingering hurt and an avoidance on my part of situations where I might have to confront my former co-workers. Today I headed to a conference in Portland. When I walked in I expected to sit with my fellow Free Methodist Pastors. But instead I was assigned a table at random. I reported to my table and person by person my past filed in. Out of the table of eight, six of them were fellow pastors from my past.
Over the next few hours God began to heal something that I did not even realize still needed to be healed. As we talked and shared 12 years of ministry and happening I began to find a comfort and a joy in connecting with them. I left feeling good about our interaction with a big smile on my face.
I am pretty sure that God was smiling too.
Just Connie
2 comments:
I love how God uses what He will use to bring us healing. If we were to choose what would work and what wouldn't, we'd fail miserably. At least I would. Dearest Connie - I pray God continues to provide that healing balm to you, easing the pain of the past. I love you.
You are an amazing person and one who has been through the wringer over and over again. However, you have come out stronger and stronger with God's help. While it is very painful to even see others who have turned their backs on us, when we forgive them as you know, our load if lessened beyond measure. Blessings my friend.
Post a Comment