Facing Shame ... Face to Face

I still struggle with a sense of shame about my divorces. I cannot believe that me .... who believes so strongly in the sanctity of marriage has been divorced ... twice! But yet it is true. It still saddens me and I have found that when people find out they make assumptions about me, my life and my choices. Being divorced has a social stigma to it especially in the church.

I realized that sense of shame was still there recently when I I was trying to apply for a passport. It surprised me. As I reflected on it I realized anew that shame was not from God. It condemns and destroys, it does not bring life ... it brings death. Realizing that, when my Sunday School class began to discuss shame, I used my own experience as an illustration. I felt my eyes tear up as I shared how I felt and how that shame stung and hurt. The class got very quiet and finally one of the men said, "We love you, we know your background and your life, you do not shame us, you make us proud." I was soooo surprised and so blessed by what he said.

With that ringing in my mind I headed back to the Post Office to once again try for my passport. I took both divorce decrees, my birth certificate, my social security card, my drivers license and my checkbook. I pushed down my discomfort and fears,  I squared my shoulders and tried again. And you know what? It was not bad. It went very smoothly. I explained quietly that I had two marriages so my name has changed. She never batted an eye. I paid my fees, signed the papers and had my picture taken. In the next month or so, my passport should arrive in the mail.

Shame ..... shame go away ..... and in the light of truth it really does.

Just Connie