Rats!

Rats! After a couple of weeks of somewhat steady progress the last few days I was going back down. My lung function was going down, I was coughing, congested and just not feeling well. So I drug my unwilling self into see my doctor.


After a long and often entertaining visit with my doctor, I am back on steroids, cough meds (2) and a additional med for my stomach. I am coughing less this morning and I am thinking this will be enough to get back  the road to healing.


I have to admit that sometimes I fear that this will be my life ... that they will never be able to completely beat this inflammation. That I will spend my life monitoring my lungs, on steroids and fighting a series of infections. But yet I realize that if I pitch my tent and decide to camp in this valley of fear that I will lose the joy and discovery of the rest of the journey.


So knowing that this is not where I want to be, I am once again asking myself how to not stay in my fear. Here are some of the things that are on heart.

• I need to keep focused on what God is saying to me
• I need people praying for me
• I need to embrace optimism
• I need to develop a life beyond my treatments and current limitations

I need to listen as God whispers purpose, hope and direction to me. I need share openly with the people around me so that they can pray meaningfully for me. I need to focus on what is uplifting, positive and hopeful as I continue to heal and look to my future. I also need to develop my interests and activities that will build me up so that my life is not just about treatment.


There is so much more ahead ...


Just Connie