A Hopeful Life

I was in the Chamber of Commerce meeting when the call came. I looked down at my phone and saw that it was my immunologist. Surprised, I picked it up and excused myself from the room. He had gotten my update letter and was distressed that I was caught in another round of constant infections and lung problems. He had been hopeful that the macrolide therapy would prove beneficial in fighting the infection while I was off gamma globulin therapy and was very disappointed that had not been the case. He expressed over and over how sorry he was that I was having such problems with it. And sorry for the horrible issues I had had with the gamma globulin therapy.


 And then, he began to talk about what my options might be next month when I saw him and said, "There is one more gamma globulin product we could try .... But I really am not sure if we should." And that is the point that my eyes filled with tears as I sagged against the wall. They have all been very clear with me. If they cannot fix the immune issue, one of the infections will kill me. I fought to pull it together as I told him that today was the surgical procedure on my sinus and I was hoping it would be enough with antibiotics to help the infection. As far as I was concerned if we could somehow stop this constant merry go round of antibiotics, steroids and infections that would be a lot for me. He then asked me to call him if my status changed, but he is not sure how much he could do at this point. I quietly told him I would call if I got worse and I would plan on seeing him next month.


Slipping my phone into my back pocket, I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders and headed back to my meeting, back ... to life. I choose to live. I will not live with one foot in the grave, but I choose to live in hope, faith and the strength that God gives me. I will embrace each moment I have and believe that there are good things ahead. Life lived in hope is always worth it. who knows what incredible things that God will be doing in the days ahead ... Just Connie