Tired

I am tired tonight. You know that kind of deep bone weariness that makes you sigh and makes everything seem like an awful lot of work. It is the kind of tired that comes from too much being taken out and not enough being put in. Not enough rest, not enough recreation just not enough and I’m just tired.

There have been so many crisis’ and problems in the past months that it seems like I pump myself up to find a way to get through one and another is already rushing at me. I find that I am weary through and through.

Around the edge of this deep weariness is a feeling of sadness. I think that I am still coming to grips with the many changes in my life. I do not necessarily feel that this is a failure on my part, I think it is just part of the healing process. Not particularly pleasant or welcome but probably to be expected at this point.

I also have not been hiking in months. Not since my friend and hiking partner Debbie began to fail so quickly. I think it is time to let the wind blow the cobwebs out. It is time to stand on the mountaintop and let God speak to me through the beauty of his creation. It is time to regroup, refresh and re-create.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

For tonight I will be still, it is time to rest. For tonight I confess that I do not feel strong. And that is okay.