Today has been a roller coaster of emotions, Dad was stronger and more responsive. That was wonderful news to my heart. However, and this is a HUGE however, he is not able to speak his thoughts at this time. They come out in a gibberish of one syllable words for the most part. Once in a while we can pick up a word. He can say "no" and a pretty good approximation of my mother's name.
It has been heartbreaking to watch him struggling to communicate. He is beginning to get frustrated when he cannot convey something to us. I do not have anyway to make this better or to fix this for him.
The first words that he spoke after the ventilator had been taken out chilled me to the core. I sat very still and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. In the ensuing hours it became clear that there was a significant problem with his speech. Tonight the nurse talked to me very frankly about where Dad was. It was very hard to hear, but very important for me to listen to.
So I came home to mom & dad's house tonight and began making phone calls. I wanted to make sure that all of the family had the same information to work from. The calls were excruciating but all of them needed the information. So I slowly waded through it.
So here I sit, exhausted, headachy and very ready for bed. I will make it through this. The family will make it through this. As my mother shared tonight, "We will just have to take it as it comes. That is what life is."
"Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning." Job 11:17
I am so fortunate to have family to live life with
Just Connie
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