Christmas Thoughts

Well I made it through Christmas. I found that my dread of the day was really worse than the actual event. There were both blessings and sorrow.

I spent Christmas Eve night with my parents. So Christmas morning I popped out of bed and we opened our stockings on mom and dad's bed. I loved the time with both of them and I was very grateful that I was not completely alone. It was truly a blessing to be with them.

Afterwards I packed up the dogs and we headed home. We spent the day napping on the couch and watching TV. For the most part it was not nearly as sad as I feared, but I found myself jumping every time the phone rang. I think I really expected Gerrald to call. It would remind me that it was Christmas and I was alone and that would make me sad. But I would try then to find something to do. For the most part I did very well. I made it through.

I am just about done with my "year of firsts". My first birthday without my husband, my first Thanksgiving, my first Christmas and so on. In just a week the year will be complete. I will be done with our first year of being apart. That is both sad and that is good. It is good because I am safe and Gerrald is getting help. It is sad because we had such potential together and the choices that have led us here have been frightening and heart breaking.

So now I am preparing for Church tomorrow. I have my lesson ready and I am expecting good things. In fact I think that is a good way to face the New Year. I am expecting good things. I choose to expect good things. I cannot think of a better way to face the new year. I need to look towards Christ, spend time in the Word and let God freshen my hurting heart.

"Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender grass." Deuteronomy 32:2

Just Connie