My head hurts, my eyes are swollen and all I want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over my head. I am so discouraged on so many levels tonight. It is hard for me to sort it all out ...
I have struggled over the past couple of years with both the reality of being alone and the thought that I will always be alone. I was blessed to make some wonderful friends who have really been a surrogate family to me. Suddenly they are gone and those old feelings of rejection are beating down on me. I find myself fighting such a sense of aloneness and grief. It hits me in waves and all I can do is cry.
I realize that because of my past this is a very tender spot for me. One unfaithful husband who left me and an alcoholic husband who left me has set me up for certain feelings ... feelings of being unlovable ... feelings of failure ... I find these feelings assaulting me now.
So how do I keep from being swept away by the hurt, the fear and the pain? How do I focus on God's truth instead of the hurtful lies? I know what I supposed to say, I know the verses to quote, but tonight all I can do is cry out to God. All I can do is stand here in my aloneness and pour my heart out to God.
Just Connie
2 comments:
Oh Connie. . . . .my heart hurts with you. You are a wonderful woman of God and I love you. Always your friend. Barbara
You are an amazing woman Connie! Let Jesus hold you in His mighty arms of love and warmth! Your 2 guys had no idea what they were walking away from and while it is very hard right now, pour your heart out to our Heavenly Father, and allow Him to show you more amazing things. He will use you in ways no one else can minister to others through.
I am honored to call you a friend, and cherish your friendship.
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