Tension

I can feel the tendrils of fear curl around me as I sit here tonight. The dogs are picking up my edginess and are barking and growling at every small sound. That is only increasing my tension level. I spent some time at the church tonight praying and that helped me, but now I can feel the tension around.

I heard from Gerrald's father yesterday and again just now. The upshot is that no one knows where Gerrald is. He left Colorado Springs on the 3rd of September and no one knows where he was headed. He spent three days in a Rescue Mission Recovery program and headed out after only three days. He could be anywhere .... he could be coming here!

And that is what really has me frightened. I do not want to face him when he is drinking, I do not want to be plunged into the terror and hurt again. I do not want to live like that ever again.

I guess all I can do is to continue to pray for Gerrald, for his freedom from this terrible bondage and for the day when he can throw the chains of addiction off. I need to also continue to make wise choices and to be vigilant, but not be consumed by the fear that still lurks.... this is still really scary.

Just Connie