Unexpected Find

I fought the tears back as I looked at the paper in my hand. I came across it unexpectedly while I was unpacking my office things. It was a beautiful certificate. In fact it was the local minister's license that the church had bestowed upon my husband. That license was the symbol of hope and promise and such tangible proof of God's restoring love. It stood for sobriety, family and service. it was one of the many promises that Gerrald broke when he began drinking again.

I was filled with a fresh sense of loss as I sat there remembering the day I called him forward and he shared his call with the congregation. I remember thinking that God was honoring my faithfulness and love to this man ... thinking, "life is so good." and yet just a few months later, it was all over. Horribly and very decisively over. he was gone and I was once again alone.

I wanted to crumple it up and throw it away ... no I wanted to shred it in a million little pieces, but instead I took a deep breath and tearfully smoothed it out and tucked it behind my own ordination papers. I think perhaps that license is a good reminder for me. It reminds me that this man I love has rejected much more than just me or his sobriety. He walked away from his call. That is a heartbreaking truth. That paper will serve as a reminder to me to lift Gerrald up in prayer. To pray for his well being, and safety, but also to pray for his call.

I think I needed that reminder .....

Just Connie