Another Step Forward

With dismay I looked at the numbers on the scale. It indicated 3.5 pounds of fluid build up. I looked in the mirror and noted the puffiness of my face and what seemed to me, immense bags under my eyes. I lifted my leg to the counter and pushed down, noting the pitting edema and sighed. That all added up to another day on the meds to help get rid of the fluid, so it would not further compromise my breathing.

And of course all that fluid retention was caused by the steroids which are actually keeping me breathing while I wait for treatment. The steroids that I have been on since July have also been playing havoc with my blood sugar. Usually when I go on steroids I can go on a diabetic diet and keep things under control. However this has been such a long stretch on such a massive amount that my blood sugars have been dumping me in the emergency room, getting me treated at the Fire Station and frankly making me sick almost every single day.

After a particularly brutal weekend with my blood sugar, where I actually had to come home from the scene of a fire because I was sick (blood sugar tested 501) I presented myself at the doctor this morning. I did not maybe get the answers I wanted, but I got answers that I think will help. I have been put on high does of metformin which should help get things evened out. I have been given three days to stabilize and then I get put on insulin on demand. So I would take it when I have one of those crazy spikes I have been having.

Yes, I admit, I cried as I got the news, but I was having a blood sugar spike at the time. But though it is something I did not want, I know that it will will help me feel better. And I am confident that when I am in able to dump the steroids some months in the future, my blood sugar will normalize once again.  I am looking forward to that day. Looking forward to getting off this emotional roller coaster and looking forward to living life again.

I am trusting and believing that there are good things ahead. This is just another step forward.

Just Connie