Pride

I tearfully looked at the pile of wires, cords and devices. I was defeated and I knew it. Since arriving home from the hospital 4 days earlier my internet had been down. Sporadically I would sit and try to puzzle it out, but it never seemed to heal itself, just because I told it to. The reality is that I had no real understanding of how things were hooked up and what should be going where.

Sitting there in miserable failure, I finally did what I should have done at the beginning. I picked up my phone and texted a techie friend and told him my dilemma. I asked if he could find the time in upcoming days to look at it or at least tell me where to start. He was there in a few hours and soon not only had me back connected, but was working on my dying tv problem as well.

I have to wonder why it is so hard to ask for that kind of help? I have actually had to do it three times this week. Once to ask to have my blood sugar checked, once because everyone of my kitchen flourescent lights had gone out. Thank you to my neighbor Phil for rescuing me from the dark. And then today as my broken Internet was fixed. I wonder if it is a type of false pride, that insists that I should be able to do it myself? Which then heaps coals of shame on my head when I cannot.

I think that the reality is that none of us can do it in our own. And for me being alone, being sick that is especially true. It is probably time to do a better job of laying pride aside and allow people to minister.

I have a feeling that is easier said than done ....

Just Connie