Sometimes I have to wonder why I am trying so hard to keep breathing? It is an unrelenting, exhausting battle that never seems to let up. And I have to wonder why? What am I fighting for? I am not fighting to be here for my spouse ... I am all alone. I am not fighting to be here for my children, they are busy with lives of their own that does not include me. Why, then do I fight for health? For what gain? For what legacy?
I have always said I want my life to make a difference. But how do you guage whether you are truly making a difference? What measuring stick do you use and what do you measure? Is it by family relationships? Is it by the amount of people served? How do you know if you are truly doing what God has asked you to do?
Tonight my heart hurts, rejection cuts deeply and it is hard to see past that hurt. It makes me question everything I am and everything I do.
I think it is time to seek God's heart ..... Because tonight my heart is broken.
Just Connie
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