Breathe ...

Breathe in .... breathe out ... it sounds so simple. Yet for the past two week it has been a huge challenge for me. Asthma has once again reared it's ugly head. It is a very strange feeling to try to draw breath into your lung and yet cannot. I am always so sure that it is mind over matter .... yet still my lungs do not cooperate, even when I willed it otherwise.

But not wanting anyone to freak out and worry I made the decision to not tell people about what was going on. I was very sure that I could nip this in the bud and be on the road to recovery before anyone knew I was even struggling.

Wanting to be proactive this go around and not end up in the hospital. I headed to the doctor after a week of declining lung function. I had a little wheezing but nothing critical and I felt that I was being a bit hyper-vigilant to go in that soon. He gave me a steroid shot, put m back on nebulizer treatments and sent me on my way. Two days later I called him and gasped out that I was worse .... so of course that meant another trip in to see him, more discussions about hospitalization and more drugs.

It was as I was driving home from the Dr's office that it dawned on me I had made a bad decision. By not telling people that I was struggling with my asthma, I was robbing myself of the prayer support I would have had if they had known. I as even robbing them of the blessing of praying for me and offering support.

So that night I messaged several people to let them know about what was going on. And Sunday morning I stood before the congregation and told them I had been wrong. It was hard to do, but it was important for them to hear it and it was important for me to say it.

I am going to strive to do better about sharing my needs, about sharing my life in meaningful ways. That is what real life is all about....

and after all ... my children are always telling me to get a life.