Today this recovery journey is wearing thin. There are so many things I want to do and yet I am so tired and so short of breath. The sun is shining and I want to be outside. There are walks to be taken and flower beds to weed. There are dogs to walk and flowers to smell.
And yet ... here I am in the house taking my breathing treatments and resting. This has been a much longer journey than what I was expecting or hoping for. And really a more painful journey than I have been expecting. More emotionally draining, more physically draining and more isolating than I ever expected.
And though I do want to focus on the things I do not like, I think it is important to identify what is pulling on me. Because then I can begin to reason with that unhappiness and frustration. The reality is that I will not always be in this place. This is a temporary journey and I need to not let go of that. I also need to remember that there are things for me to learn in the pain and the frustration of the here and now.
And sometimes life is harder than we want it to be .... but the thing I know with every fiber of my being is that God is big enough for this. He is big enough for my fear, frustration and pain.
And that makes this journey worthwhile ....
Just Connie
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