The Conversation

I had an important conversation yesterday. It was an uncomfortable conversation …. no it was a painful conversation, but very important. Someone shared some information with me that was emotionally explosive. They had carried such hurt and anger for so long and I had no idea. When the bomb went off, I was stunned and shocked. I am very glad they were able to share what they were feeling, had been feeling. I think it was positive and healthy that they trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I think that it is a gift.

But this gift has cast me into such turmoil. I keep running it over and over in my head. No matter how I twist and turn it .... it just sits there squat and ugly. I do not like what I see. My heart hurts and to be honest I feel like a total failure for the way that I let them down without ever realizing it. How could I have been so blind?

I am trying to make this a teachable moment for me. I think I have something I can learn in this right now. But I will not be able to learn if I am consumed with grief and regret.

"Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong” Job 6:24

I think I need to look at the “now” more than the “past”. To focus on what I can learn and not on what I did imperfectly. I am going to have to work harder.

Just Connie